Chapter 14 Thou Shalt Not Hide From Thy Sins #2
“H-Holly—” The word stumbles out of me as I jerk upright, pretending I wasn’t just melting into a puddle on the floor. “I didn’t… I didn’t know you were here.”
“I was already here when you walked in,” she says, voice low and even. “You didn’t even see me.”
I open my mouth to give her some sort of harmless excuse. But all that comes out is, “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
“No,” she says, her voice sharp. “Don’t lie.”
I blink. My chest tightens.
“I mean it, Arwen.” Holly crosses the room in two quick steps and kneels in front of me like she’s grounding herself. “Don’t keep pushing away. You’ve been upset since you got here. I think I’ve proved you can trust me to tell me what’s going on with you.”
I want to speak, but I can’t. My throat has closed.
“I’ve been watching you,” she goes on. “We all have. I let it go because I figured you’d open up when you were ready, but this? This is different. This is not okay.”
She gestures to me—my red eyes, the tears I didn’t wipe away, the way I’m shaking just a little.
“You don’t eat, and you’re rarely sleeping. You pretend to laugh. Something is wrong, Arwen, and you’re breaking yourself trying to hide it.”
Something cracks inside me, and I bite my lip to keep it together.
“I…” The word barely makes it out. It sounds thin. So embarrassing.
All my usual fire, all that Wrath edge—I can’t find any of it. It’s like someone scooped me out and left the outline behind.
She squeezes my hand gentle, steady and warm. “Whatever it is, you don’t have to carry it alone.”
I shake my head. “You don’t understand, Holly. If I tell you—if anyone finds out—”
“Then we protect it.” She leans in closer. "You think I’m gonna run and tell someone? Why would you think that? You’re our friend, Arwen. I care about you. We all do. You need to tell us what’s going on. "
Tears sting my eyes again, but this time they come from somewhere else. Somewhere softer.
“I’m scared,” I whisper. “If the wrong person hears this… I could get kicked out. Maybe worse.”
“Then we keep it between us,” she says. “We guard it like a damn fortress. But please… let us in. Let me in.”
I stare at her for a long moment. And then… I nod.
“Okay,” I say. “I’ll tell you. But I need everyone. I need to know that if I say this—if I trust you—it won’t come back to destroy me.”
“You have my word,” she says without even blinking. “I’ll go get them. We’ll be right here. With you.”
She gives my hand one more squeeze and rises to her feet.
As she leaves, I stare down at my trembling hands.
The fear is still there. But something else is too.
A flicker of relief.
A thread of hope.
For the first time since I stepped foot into SinVail Academy… I don’t feel like I’m drowning alone.
***
We’re all crammed into my tiny bedroom, the door shut, curtains drawn. The room smells of incense—Holly lit it to "set the mood"—and someone, probably Brix, brought snacks that no one’s touched.
“So,” Brix says, flopping down at the edge of my bed, “what’s up with the late-night cult meeting? Are we performing a seance or just finally voting me off the island?”
I give him a soft smile. I can always count on Brix to raise the mood.
Taking a deep breath, I look at every one of them. My people. My friends. The only ones I might trust with this.
“I know you’ve all realized something’s been up with me,” I say, my voice steady despite how much my insides are vibrating. “And I’m done pretending nothing’s wrong.”
They all go still. No jokes. No interruptions.
“But before I say anything,” I go on, “you need to know… if this gets out, I’m not just in trouble. The school could expel me. Or worse.”
The air shifts. Sly’s expression hardens. Holly folds her arms tight. Tabby raises her brows but doesn’t speak.
“I’m not just… coming into the academy sinless,” I say. “You already know about the Council trial, but what you haven’t heard is that they only gave me one year.”
Concern etches their faces as I continue, “One year to manifest a power. Or the Council will exile me to the wastes. No support. No protection. No resources. Just thrown into the Wastes.”
Silence.
“And Dean Bellows… she thought if I bonded, it might awaken something in me. But that didn’t go as expected.” I laugh, and it’s sharp with disbelief. “Instead of creating a rare bond to one person… I felt four bonds during the ceremony.”
They all sit up straight.
“Four?!” Cleo yelps. “That’s impossible!”
“Trust me. I want this to all be in my head… I know it sounds impossible. But now that two have confirmed they also felt the bond, it’s becoming harder to deny.
The only thing on my side is that they all assume they are the only one…
but it’s been a nightmare and painful to resist the side effects. ”
“Okay, I need to know who these bonds are right now.” Tabby pipes in, missing the point.
I give her a look, but she doesn’t back down. So, I continue.
“Okay, fine.” I laugh hysterically. “You’ll appreciate this, Tabby. My first bond to cross the arch? Professor Gabriel.”
“Lucky girl,” Tabby drawls as the others take a sharp inhale, recognizing the severity of the situation.
I shoot her a glare before continuing. “No Tabby. Not lucky. In case you forgot, I’m a Wrath, and he is a Sloth.”
She winces as she looks away.
“I know we joke around about bonding him, but we all know that alone is a death sentence for someone like me. And if that’s not enough, the second was Atticus Willshire.”
That shuts them all up.
“He was at my trial,” I say. I take a second to take a shaky breath. The anger at the universe, at the situation, starting to pour out of me.
“He confronted me after the bond ceremony. We agreed to keep it quiet. He doesn’t want to be bonded to a sinless nobody outside of his faction.”
Brix makes an indistinct sound in his throat. “Are you sure you can trust him? He’s Councilor Willshire’s son.”
“I don’t know, Brix,” I mumble, “I don’t have a choice. And speaking of the council, my third bond was to Maylo Villanox.”
“What?” Sly blurts. “As in the Speaker for the Envy Councilor? He’s insane.”
“A total psychopath,” Tabby agrees, finally realizing this is not a harem of dreams, but a total nightmare.
“That’s right,” I say. “And not only is he also tied to the Council, he voted for my exile at the trial… he’s wanted me dead since the beginning. Since the ceremony, he’s disappeared. I haven’t seen him.”
Everyone is dead silent now.
“And the last…” I hesitate. “The last one is Alexi from the Lust faction.”
Tabby’s eyes narrow. “Wait… Alexi? The sexy golden God with top power levels?”
“Alexi? How is that possible??” Holly adds.
“I don’t know, Holly. How is any of this possible? He… pulled me into an empty classroom on my way back to the dorm tonight and said that he’s felt the bond since day one. He—” I swallow.
“Alexi tried to blackmail me. Said if I didn’t take him up on his offer to sleep with him, he might not keep the bond a secret.”
Holly stands. “I’ll kill him.”
Brix mutters, “I’ll help.”
“No,” I blurt. “It’s fine. Something in our bond tells me he wouldn’t. But I—I can’t deal with all of this alone anymore. I’ve tried. I’ve been trying. But I’m drowning. And I need help.”
For a moment, no one says anything.
Then, Brix gets to his feet. “Okay. We’re in.”
I blink at him. “What?”
“You heard me,” he says. “We’re not gonna let you get exiled. Screw that. You’re one of us. Whether or not you’ve got a power.”
Holly nods, fierce and unwavering. “We’re going to figure this out. Together. I agree with Brix. First, we need to get your sin power up and running, so that exile is off the table. One thing at a time.”
“I’ll hit the library,” Sly says. “Start digging into past cases, experimental trainings, anything weird or borderline illegal.”
“Same,” Tabby adds. “Also, I’ll monitor Alexi. If he so much as breathes near you again, I’m setting his bed on fire. I don’t care how powerful he is. "
“How very wrath of you,” Holly teases her.
I smile, full and real for the first time in weeks.
“So, the first thing is manifesting a sin power. We focus on that. Everything else can wait,” I agree.
My chest feels a little less heavy.
For the first time, the weight isn’t just mine. I don’t deserve them, but I have them.