Chapter 25 #2
We settle against the railing together, legs dangling over the edge, the noise of students below softened by distance. It’s… disarming. I hug my arms around myself, aware of how exposed I feel, how much I want to just lean into him without thinking.
“I’ve spent so long feeling… invisible,” I admit, voice low, almost swallowed by the night. “Like I don’t even know how to react to this attention. Ryker… I know you probably want it to be a date-date. And maybe I do too… but I don’t know how.”
He turns his head, looking at me, and something soft flickers behind his usual confident smirk. “Then we don’t rush it,” he says. “No scripts. No expectations. We just… sit here. Talk. Or don’t talk. Whatever works.”
I let out a shaky laugh, the tension in my shoulders loosening. “You make that sound easy.”
He shrugs. “Because it can be. When you’re with the right person, nothing has to be complicated.”
He glances at me, serious for once, eyes holding mine. “I don’t know what it’s like to be sinless,” he says, “but I know what it’s like to feel trapped in a role you didn’t choose. You’re not invisible to me, Arwen. Not even close.”
His eyebrows lift. “This has never been just a friend date. I think you know that. And you’ve been doing perfectly.”
I swallow hard, my pulse hammering. “I think… I’m ready to explore it more, too.”
His gaze softens. Slowly, he shifts closer, letting his shoulder brush mine. I freeze, caught between fear and wanting. His hand hovers near mine, and I let it slide into his without thinking.
The silence stretches, filled with the hum of wind and distant city sounds. My stomach flips.
“But what if I’m… broken? What if my sin power never manifests? What if I’m never enough?” I whisper the words more to myself than to him.
“Then I can help you,” he says, firm, like it’s the simplest truth in the world.
The air between us charges, thick with things unsaid. And then he closes the last gap, tilting his head as if asking permission. I give it without a word, leaning forward, letting my lips meet his.
The kiss starts soft, his lips giving me a whisper of contact. Then it deepens as his tongue softly enters my mouth. As soon as I feel the soft, sensual brush of his tongue, my heartbeat picks up. I squeeze my legs together as we kiss faster. He tastes like spearmint.
I grip his arms as he grabs my waist, anchoring me. My body forgets the fear I’ve carried for weeks—here, now, it’s just this, just him.
He pulls me back away from the roof’s edge and lightly pushes me down on a blanket. Hovering over me, he looks into my eyes and then down at my lips as he kisses me softly again.
I grab the bottom of my shirt to pull it off as he stops my hand. “We don’t have to, Arwen. I didn’t bring you here for that.”
A strange pang of guilt pierces my desire. He knows nothing about my bonds… but it’s too risky to tell him.
And the feel of him this close to me. I’ve never been treated with such care. Like a person who matters. Like a person who is adored. It’s intoxicating, and I want him closer.
“I want this, and I know my boundaries. I’m not sleeping with you tonight, Ryker, but I want more of you.”
He kisses me harder, like he was holding back before. He grabs the bottom of my shirt and helps rip it over my head while, hands trembling, I do the same for him.
We are a tangled, hurried mess trying to get out of our clothes. Like two people starved for physical touch.
He grabs my cheek and angles my face up so he can push his tongue deeper. The feel of his warm body against my skin sends tingles across my stomach, spreading lower.
I breathe him in and open my eyes as he bites my earlobe. Above us are hundreds of twinkling stars, glittering brightly.
He keeps me warm as his body hovers over mine. Working his way down my neck, he nips, bites and sucks at the sensitive skin.
As he reaches the base of my throat, where my neck meets my shoulder, he lingers. His breath hot over the skin he just made wet. His finger brushes along my nipple, spreading goosebumps across my skin.
It hardens, reaching for more of his touch. He massages my breasts and continues to flick my nipple with his thumb as his mouth claims mine again.
My core is burning, wanting more friction. My frustrated whine in the back of my throat and not-so-subtle grinding must give it away because his hand moves lower.
“You need my attention elsewhere, Princess?” He drawls out and I can feel his cocky grin as his mouth touches the shell of my ear.
“Yes” is all I can manage.
He unbuttons my pants, his hand moving at an achingly slow pace. His fingers graze the apex of my thighs as I rock my hips and try to get his hand closer.
“So greedy.” He whispers. “You sure you don’t belong in my faction?”
He moves lower down my body. Kissing and teasing me as he goes.
He kisses below my belly button as he peels the jeans away.
He removes my boots and slowly removes my pants, one leg at a time. Torturing me.
Finally, when I’m bare all except my panties, he leans back in. Face close to my pussy.
He presses his lips to the inside of my right thigh. Slowly and softly kissing up to my heat. When he gets to the middle, he breathes a hot breath that I can feel tantalizing me through my panties.
He starts on the left side and kisses up that thigh. I try to rock myself against him, but he presses me down and holds me in place.
He licks my panties at my core, and I can feel the wet of his tongue mixing with my own wetness. He’s driving me crazy.
Out of nowhere, he lifts my hips and rips my panties down my legs. He shoves his tongue into me as I yell out in surprise and relief. His tongue thrusts into my core before pulling back and slowly licking me from ass to clit.
He lavishes my pussy at a study pace until I don’t think I can take it anymore.
“Please, Ryker. Please. Let me cum.”
He puts his mouth over my sensitive nub and sucks hard as he plunges his fingers in.
He hits a spot deep inside me that sends me over the edge. Pleasure washes through me fast as I rock my hips, working out every bit of the orgasm that I can.
“Oh my universe.” I say, breathless.
He kisses me lightly on my lower stomach as he gently puts my panties back on.
“I want to snuggle, but I’m worried you’ll freeze if I leave you naked any longer.” He says.
When I’ve caught my breath and Ryker has me clothed, he leans his forehead against mine.
“I’ve wanted this… for a long time,” he murmurs.
“Me too,” I admit, voice shaking but honest.
We stayed like that, perched above the city, bodies intertwined, letting the world continue without us for a moment. I feel light, like maybe I belong somewhere.
“Just us,” he says after a while, voice low.
I smile, curling my fingers tighter around his. “Good. I like it when it’s just us.”
***
I can’t stop smiling. My cheeks hurt, but I don’t even care. I’m still replaying every second of that rooftop moment with Ryker. My chest feels like it’s full of sparks, and for once, I don’t feel broken. I feel alive.
Half-running, half-floating toward the dorms. I hope I can slip in before curfew when a shadow shifts in the alcove ahead. I slow and my good mood falters as soon as I see Atticus.
He’s leaning against the wall like he’s been waiting, arms crossed, eyes dark. My stomach twists. Of course. Because no way could the universe let my night end on a high note.
“Arwen, please,” he says, pushing off the wall, his voice rough. “I need to talk to you.”
I stop dead in my tracks and gape at him. “Are you kidding me?”
He takes a hesitant step forward, and I instantly take one back.
“You know, for a guy who told me to stay away from him, you’re not doing so great at taking your own advice. This is looking a little stalker-ish.”
My words are sharp, but my pulse betrays me—beating too fast, too excited.
Bad bond. We just had an excellent night with Ryker. Don’t be a hussy.
“I’m not—” He runs a hand through his hair, jaw tight. “I’m not stalking you. I just… please. Just give me two minutes.”
Laughing bitterly, I shake my head. “No thanks. I’m not in the mood for whatever insults you have prepped.” I keep moving, but his voice catches, cracked and desperate.
“Arwen, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I freeze. The word hits harder than I expect, and before I can stop myself, I turn.
He looks worse than usual. There are shadows under his eyes, his face drawn, shoulders tense like he’s carrying a weight he can’t drop.
It makes me feel a vicious satisfaction—good, he deserves to feel like hell—but it also makes my chest ache in a way I hate.
Our forced connection. It’s always pulling at me, never letting me just hate him in peace.
He takes another step, hands raised, careful, like I might bolt.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this for days.
Since… that night.” His voice breaks, and I know exactly which night he means—the night I caught him with someone else.
The image sears across my mind, a wound that hasn’t healed.
“I don’t want to hear this,” I whisper, even though I don’t move.
He pushes on anyway. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.
I swear. I’ve just—” His hand clenches into a fist over his chest, right where I know the bond burns.
“The ache never stops. It’s constant. And I keep looking for something—anything—to make it go away.
To give me even a second of relief. I’ve been trying to ease it.
. with others, but nothing works. Except being near you.
And I don’t know how to live with that.”
His words hang between us, heavy, raw.
“I don’t know what to do.” His voice breaks.
And even though every part of me wants to tell him to shut up, to walk away and leave him drowning in his own mess… I don’t. I just stand there, heart racing, trapped between fury and pity, hate and something I don’t dare name.
My chest heaves, the words spilling out before I can stop them.
“I have to deal with the pain of the bond too, you know. That’s not new.
But you’ve had to make it worse. You go out of your way to be rude, to push me, to make me feel like I don’t belong here.
I don’t care who you’re hooking up with.
I want nothing to do with you. Be with whoever you want; it makes no difference to me. ”
I spin on my heel, but his voice stops me cold.
“Wait, please.” His tone is raw, desperate in a way I’ve never heard from him. “I know I don’t have room to talk, but I… I have a bad feeling about you and Ryker. I wish you would just trust me.”
I freeze, fists clenching at my sides. “A bad feeling?” I echo, disbelief sharpening my voice. “That’s your excuse? That’s what you came up with? You’ve been nothing but cruel to me, and now you’re trying to rip me away from the one person who’s shown me kindness?”
“It’s not just the bond being upset—”
“Don’t you dare,” I snap, cutting him off.
My voice cracks, but I force it steady. “Ryker has been there when you weren’t.
He stuck up for me when you made my life hell.
Maybe you didn’t mean for me to catch you in the act, but you have made damn sure I understand you are flirting and seeing other girls.
And you—you stand here, acting like you get to dictate who I let close? How dare you!”
His jaw tightens, regret flashing in his eyes. “I didn’t mean—”
“I don’t care what you meant.” My voice drops to a low, venomous whisper. “I appreciate your apology, no matter how pathetic the excuse is, but I don’t want to hear it. I want nothing from you. So leave me alone.”
I turn again, and this time I don’t look back.