Chapter 30 Thou Shalt Not Confuse Wine with Wisdom.
Thou Shalt Not Confuse Wine with Wisdom.
Arwen
Ishove the door open with my hip, still fried from another tutoring session with Maddox. My brain feels wrung out, but the second I step inside, I stop dead.
Holly’s on her bed with a half-empty bottle in hand, cheeks flushed and eyes blazing. Tabby’s perched on Cleo’s desk like she’s watching a show, grinning widely, and Cleo sits on the floor pretending she’s not drinking, though the red tips of her ears are a dead giveaway.
“Uh…” I slide the vial I just got from Maddox into my desk drawer like it’s contraband. None of them notices. Thank you, universe.
“What’s going on in here?”
“War council,” Tabby says. She raises her cup in the air above her head. “Or, depending on who you ask—pity party.”
“It’s not pity.” Holly snaps the word like it offends her. “It’s strategy.”
I glance between them, nerves buzzing. “Strategy for what?”
“For murdering Sly,” Tabby supplies.
Holly hurls a pillow at her. “Not murdering. Just… proving him wrong. He thinks he gets to dictate what fights I take. Like he’s my warden or something.”
I frown and look at my angry roommate. “You two fought?”
Holly’s jaw clenches. “Yeah. He doesn’t want me challenging upperclass students in the arena. Thinks I’ll get hurt. Says I need to be smarter.”
She sneers, grabbing the bottle and taking a long swig. “Like I can’t handle myself. I can take a hit. I want the hits. That’s how you get stronger. He clearly doesn’t believe in me. He wants me to play safe, and that’s not who I am.”
The room crackles with her anger.
And guilt slams into me. “I didn’t even know you guys were fighting.” My throat goes tight. “Ugh. I’m a terrible friend. I make everything about me—dumping my problems on you, and I didn’t even notice you were—”
“Stop.” Holly cuts me off, sharp but not unkind. “You’ve got the whole damn council breathing down your neck. My drama with Sly isn’t even in the same arena as your crap.” She shrugs, though her knuckles are white around the bottle. “Besides, I’m fine. I’m mad, not broken.”
“Yeah,” Tabby adds, faking a deep tough voice. “She’s Wrath. If someone breaks her, she’d just break the person back.”
That earns a short, humorless laugh from Cleo… but a glare from Holly and I ponder if maybe it’s time to get the delicate Gluttony girls away from my raging roommate.
I sit down on my bed, still chewing on guilt. “I just… I want to be there for you. Not just spiral in my head.”
“Then drink with us,” Tabby says, shoving a cup into my hand. “It’s the common tradition. You fight with your boyfriend, you drink with your friends, you get over it.”
I will not turn down a night with my friends, not after all they have done for me.
I take a large gulp. Then finished my drink. Then had another. The burn in my chest eases a little, reminding me of being back home on the cliffs with Sadie and Peter, drinking our cares away with stolen goods from Apex Arena.
The laughter between us bubbles up again, silly and reckless, until the words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them:
“…Maddox made me a potion.”
All three whip their heads toward me.
“Wait! The potion?” Tabby asks, eyes glinting.
“Nooo,” I admit. “He’s still not sure he can get that to work. Apparently, this is more common, easy…”
“So…” Cleo prods. “What does it do?”
I groan, covering my face. “It’s supposed to make me… confident. Sexy. Like, lower inhibitions or whatever.”
Holly and Cleo break out laughing, no doubt picturing me trying to be sexy.
Tabby gasps like I confessed murder. “Arwen! Are you planning to seduce someone?”
“No!” I squeak. Then mutter, “…Maybe. If I have to.”
Cleo chokes on her drink. Holly smirks, all teeth. “Oh, this I’ve gotta hear. It better not be Atticus’s dumb ass.”
“Not Atticus. Maddox was very firm about not using it for Atticus.”
My cheeks are blazing. The alcohol isn’t helping. “I just—I’m not good at that stuff. The whole flirty, effortless-girl thing. And if the only way I stay here is by… trying to move one of my bonds forward, then I don’t have time to figure it out naturally.”
My voice drops. “God, I just want this to be over—powers awakened, the constant pressure gone. Every day shouldn’t feel like a trial. I just want… something to change.”
I swallow hard. “I want normal. Dumb drama. Fights with boyfriends. Hangovers. Not… a death deadline hanging over my head.”
For a second, silence.
Then Holly leans forward, eyes still sharp but voice steady. “You’ll get that. But until then—don’t you dare count yourself out.”
“Yeah,” Tabby adds with a wicked grin. “And if you don’t, we’ll slip that potion in Ryker’s drink and see if he starts pole-dancing on the lunch table.”
Cleo snorts into her cup, and soon we’re all laughing until our stomachs hurt.
The drinks keep flowing, laughter louder with every refill. Holly’s still ranting about Sly, Tabby’s dramatically reenacting her last terrible flirt attempt with an Envy boy, and Cleo keeps correcting both of them through her giggles.
Then, of course, they circle back to me.
“So,” Tabby says, eyes gleaming. “About this little sexy potion of yours…”
“No,” I say, pointing at her. “Don’t even start.”
“Oh, I’m already started,” she sing-songs, sliding off Cleo’s desk and flopping next to me. “You should take it tonight.”
My drink sloshes onto my lap. “Tonight? Are you insane?”
“Yes, she is,” Holly says dryly, kicking her boots off. “But she’s right. You keep stalling, waiting for some perfect moment. There’s no perfect moment. Just do it.”
“Do what?” I sputter.
“Professor Gabriel.” Tabby waggles her brows. “Bond-boy number… what is he, three? Four?”
“Shhh,” Cleo murmurs, “That’s dangerous to say even in here, Tabby. Put a lid on it.”
Heat rushes to my cheeks. “I’m not just going to waltz into his office like—like some Lust Porn-Star floozy!”
“Why not?” Holly smirks. “You’re already half-dosed with alcohol. Your inhibitions are lowered like you wanted. Might as well commit.”
Tabby claps, delighted. “Exactly! Tonight’s perfect. You’ve got courage in a cup, courage in a vial—double courage! What could go wrong?”
“A million things,” Cleo mutters, though even she’s grinning, her careful composure unraveling after her third cup.
My stomach flips. The idea is ridiculous. Stupid. Utterly doomed.
…But the more they tease, the more the warmth in my chest edges out the fear. My pulse kicks with a reckless energy. When am I going to have the guts again? Tomorrow I’ll just overthink myself back into paralysis. And I only have a little over a month left in the term.
I groan, covering my face. “You’re all terrible influences.”
“Thank you,” Tabby says.
“I’m serious,” I warn, peeking through my fingers. “If this goes horribly wrong—”
“Then we’ll drink again tomorrow and make fun of you for eternity,” Holly cuts in, grinning. “Either way, we win.”
“Not helping!”
But I’m laughing, and the laughter softens into a reckless nod. “…Fine. I’ll do it.”
The girls erupt into cheers like I’ve just declared war. Tabby throws her arm around my shoulders, nearly knocking my cup out of my hand. “Attagirl!”
I push them off and fumble in my desk drawer for Maddox’s vial. The glass catches the lamplight, shimmering.
His words echo in my head: There’s no real potion for sexy. You drink this, and your mind does the rest. You feel unshackled. Confident in flirting. Like you could do anything. Confidence is sexy.
I laugh a little too high-pitched. “If I’m the one who ends up pole-dancing in the cafeteria, I’m blaming all of you.”
“You should do that instead,” Tabby blurts.
“Not helping,” Cleo mutters again.
Holly leans forward, eyes sharp, almost proud. “Bottoms up, Davies. Let’s see Wrath’s fire.”
I close my eyes, tip back the vial, and swallow.
The warmth hits like sunlight pooling under my skin, sliding along my veins. My chest hums. Fingers tingle, and a low buzz hums behind my eyes. Thoughts fray at the edges, loose threads I can barely grasp.
I catch myself tracing the curve of my jaw, brushing a thumb along my collarbone without thinking. A flicker of daring sparks in my chest, crawling down my spine—it all feels… possible.
Excitement coils in my stomach, sharp and sweet, daring me to step over the line.
***
"I can do this. I'm a badass Wrath. I'm not scared of showing off a little skin. I can flirt." The potion bubbling in my veins is feeding into my confidence.
I look at my outfit in the bathroom mirror, run my hands over the smooth material. We’re right outside of Professor Gabriel’s office.
I've changed back into my school uniform technically, minus the jacket. My white button-up is unbuttoned and tied right below my breasts, which are lifted by Tabby's borrowed push-up bra.
Universe, I love that girl and her lack of boundaries.
I have on thigh-high socks, and I'm taking a chance on wearing the heels that have been rotting in my wardrobe for the first time. I'm a little wobbly, but I don't have far to go.
I part my red hair and brush each side up into a high pigtail. I finish the look with some pink lip gloss.
“This look is going to drive the professor wild,” Tabby whispers.
“Of course you’d think that, Tabby. You picked out the outfit.” Cleo retorts, still the most sober of us all.
“This will work. Every professor's fantasy is of a naughty schoolgirl. How could he resist?” Tabby snarks back in response.
I tighten the pigtails and stand up straight. “This will work.”
Then I sink back down to the floor. “Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to throw up. I can't do this. The potion’s not strong enough.”
The door swings open with a crash. Holly stumbles in, her laughter spilling into the room like broken glass. My stomach lurches; feet scramble for purchase, heels clattering against the floor. I flail, arms windmilling, and tip forward—Cleo’s hands catch me just in time before I hit the ground.
"Good, you're ready. You need to go right now. The coast is clear."
"I can't do this, Holly."
"You can, and you are," she replies.
"It's never going to work. He's going to laugh as soon as I walk in. Hell, he'll probably give me detention or send me to Dean Bellows just for this."
"Look at me, Arwen." She grabs my face with both hands, turning my head towards her. "He will not give you detention. He will not laugh at you. You are his unfinished bond. And you look hot as hell. He's not going to resist you. You can do this. You have to do this."
She's right. We are getting closer and closer to my exile. We need to know if bonding will manifest my sin power.
"You're right," I say, resigned. "Check to see if the hallway is empty one more time. I don't need to add to my already long list of gossip."
I place my phone into my pocket and tuck my bag into the cabinet under the sink so I can change back once I've completed my mission.
"All clear. Good luck, girl." Holly gives me a knowing smile.