Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Lyra heard Wyn shouting for her from below decks. She'd been snooping in one of the books on his desk, dropping it and taking off towards the stairs in a panic. Cliodhna must be attacking them or a kelpie or…
Lyra's mind churned with the possibilities as she threw open the door to the top deck. Her eyes scanned the horizon for the imminent threat, only to find Wyn staring at Theo, who had a white-knuckle grip on the railing.
“What's the problem?” Lyra panted, her nervous system still on high alert from the imagined threat.
Wyn shook his head before nodding his chin in Theo's direction.
Only then did Lyra approach them, studying Theo's appearance.
Not only was he holding the railing with all his strength, but there was sweat on his brow, and his eyes were glassy.
He was sucking in short breaths, barely getting any oxygen into his lungs.
Shit. Lyra bit her lip. She'd prefer a physical foe to a mental one. It was easier to punch the former in the face.
Wyn held up his hands as if to indicate ‘I’ll leave you to it,’ and disappeared below deck, whistling a jaunty tune the whole way.
“Hey, Theo?” Lyra tried carefully, keeping a few feet between them. She didn't know what to do. How did you help someone having a panic attack? You weren't supposed to wake a sleepwalker. Did the same logic apply?
She didn't have time to think about it. Theo turned towards her, a mixture of relief and gratitude on his face so potent that Lyra immediately felt guilty.
“I can't do this,” he gasped, his hands still not leaving the railing.
Lyra could see blood on his fingertips where the wood had started to splinter.
“Do what?” she kept her voice as calm as she could, resorting to the tactics she used when her little sister had cried as a child.
“This!” Theo finally released the railing, gesturing toward the wide-open sea. “I’m responsible for dragging my brother into this mess, for putting you in harm's way. Now Wyn is in danger—”
“Theo, stop,” Lyra commanded, gentle but firm. She stepped closer to him, putting one hand on his arm and tugging his wrist further away from the railing.
“None of this is your fault. You have to know that.” She tried to keep her tone light, as if she were discussing something as obvious as the color of the sky.
“That's where you're wrong…” Theo trailed off, his rapid breathing still obscuring his speech. Theo was as pale as Lyra had ever seen him, his eyes wild with fear. It frightened her, striking at her heart in places she'd thought she closed off to people long ago.
“Theo. Breathe.” Lyra forced the tenderness in her voice aside, leaving no room for interpretation in the command. Theo looked slightly taken aback, but he did what she said, managing to suck in a full breath.
“Good. Again. In and out.” Lyra stayed with him, the sea wind whipping her hair around her face, hands on his arms, until his breathing slowed down. He swayed slightly, as though he was going to faint, and Lyra gently guided him down to the deck until he was sitting.
Theo crossed his legs, and Lyra kneeled in front of him. In any other situation, the sight of such a tall, broad fae sitting like a child in a schoolroom would've been entertaining. Theo's knees were practically up next to his ears.
“Now,” Lyra stared Theo dead in the eye, “when you were born, did you curse your parents?”
Theo rolled his eyes. Lyra would've normally taken it as a challenge, but she was thrilled to see he was feeling stable enough for sarcasm.
“Well, that's hardly—”
“That was a yes or no question.” Lyra raised an eyebrow at Theo, interrupting him.
“No,” Theo murmured, rather glumly, almost as if he were disappointed by the fact.
“Mmhmm.” Lyra pursed her lips smugly. “Did you curse yourself?”
“No.” Theo hung his head a little lower still.
“I’m having a very hard time seeing how you are the person to blame for all of this.” Lyra softened her approach. Even in the midst of this chaos, under the constant threat, Theo had been positive and almost excited. She hated seeing him like this.
“I don't know,” Theo muttered under his breath.
“At every turn, I don't know what to do. So many people have been tangled up in this now, you included.” Lyra’s heart broke a little at that.
“I saw the sea and panicked.” Theo finally admitted, turning his gaze away from Lyra and out towards the horizon.
“I’ve never been on a boat like this before.
” Theo shrugged. Lyra said nothing for a minute, giving Theo the space to process his feelings.
She couldn't imagine what it would have been like to grow up so far removed from the water.
It would be different for a fae versus a siren, but still, it couldn't have been pleasant.
“It's shocking; I'm sure,” Lyra offered lamely, unable to find words for the magnitude that Theo was feeling.
Another few moments of silence passed between them, and Lyra’s consciousness was a stone in her chest. Theo was so terrified, not even for himself, but for the mere suggestion that he was a burden.
He worried about his brother, Calum's kingdom…
He worried about her. What did everyone keep telling him?
That it would be okay. They would figure it out. He had a support system behind him.
A support system with a gaping hole in it, roughly the size of you. Lyra's thoughts unhelpfully reminded her.
Suddenly, she was the one who was panicking.
She was a little bit better at concealing it than Theo was, but her heart was racing, and the open sea that threatened Theo now seemed to hold her in its jaws.
She'd tried to tell Theo once before, and that failed attempt was sitting on her shoulders.
The tenderness in Theo's expression as he turned to her, grabbing her hand in his, cracked Lyra wide open.
She was exposed and vulnerable in a way she never planned to be, ever again, but there was only one path forward now.
If Theo was going to have to be brave, so was she. Her sister was innocent in all of this. Surely, Calum would find a way to help her too? Nevermind Lyra. She had been prepared to die when she broke Calum's bargain, and that hadn't changed. But she would die with a clean conscience.
She wanted to look at Theo without feeling a churn of uneasiness in her gut. She wanted him again before her life was forfeit, if he'd have her. No sensible person would, but she'd hold out hope for it.
“What is it?” Theo cocked his head, studying her expression, which now looked equally devastated.
“Let's go downstairs.” She nodded towards the door disappearing below deck. “I want to talk to you and Wyn.”
At Lyra's sudden insistence, she was now sitting at a table with Wyn, Theo, and Calum, the latter attending via a video call. Wyn had poured whisky for the table—there had been some disparaging mention of tea she couldn't recall—and Lyra downed hers without a moment's hesitation.
Theo smirked at her, making a playful retort, but Lyra caught Wyn's darkening stare and the way Calum's posture tensed.
They were used to being in rooms with war prisoners, traitors, and strategists.
Lyra's body language and rapid consumption of whisky clearly indicated she did not have positive news for them.
“The reason I've asked you all…” Lyra started and stopped. Her voice cracked. Sweat was dripping down her back, and her palms were clammy. Never in a million years did she think she’d be in this position, ready to sell out a goddess of the sea for the fae court of Scotland.
“Go on.” Calum's voice was clear and authoritative, even through video. He crossed his arms over his chest, and Lyra had a feeling he already knew what she was about to say.
Fuck it, then, Lyra thought to herself, taking one last deep breath. She closed her eyes and let the words come out of her in a whoosh.
“Cliodhna has my sister. She will kill her unless I deliver Theo to her.”
The words came out easier than Lyra thought they would. Wyn and Theo started talking over each other, shocked and angry. Theo was more shocked than angry, Wyn the opposite. Calum said nothing. Lyra kept her eyes closed and kept talking.
“I was prepared to die after making the pact with Calum, to keep my sister safe.” She answered the next question she knew was on their minds.
“But I don't want to do that to you, Theo.” She picked up her head, staring straight at him and ignoring the other two men.
“I don't know what to do about my sister.
She's all I have left in this world.” Lyra's voice cracked, and to her own personal horror, tears started dripping down her cheeks.
An awful silence took over the room, oppressive and tense. Calum hadn't moved at all, still staring at the screen as if it had personally offended him. Wyn had one hand on the knife at his belt, staring at Lyra with more contempt than she'd ever seen in a man's gaze before.
Theo's expression devastated her. He looked a little sad, but almost as though he had expected this, as if it were normal and commonplace for someone to want to trade his life for someone else's.
Forget the fact they'd already shared a bed.
Or a bedroll. His lips were pulled into a thin line, both upset and angry.
She could see Theo mentally lecturing himself on other people's motives and why it would only be fair for Lyra to do this. He was already making excuses for her in his head; she could see it.
It infuriated her.
“You should hate me!” Lyra nearly sqawked, pointing a finger at Theo. “Don't look at me like that. With pity in your eyes. You should want my head on a spike, Theo.”
Theo shook his head. “Don't talk like that. I could never want—”
“No.” Wyn held up a hand and interrupted Theo. “She's on to something there.”
Lyra threw Wyn a defensive look.
“Well, I'm sorry?” Theo blushed, looking sheepish, “I don't want you dead. I don't know, I mean, no. I don't want that.” He looked around the room as if he were trying to find clues for how he should be reacting to this betrayal.
Wyn spared him the need to speak by turning towards the propped-up cellphone, where the grainy video of Calum was still silent.
“Anything to say here?”
The room was quiet. Lyra watched Theo lean forward, waiting for his brother's guidance on how to react. On anyone else, she would have found it cowardly or weak-spined. In Theo, it was endearing.
“I can't say I wasn't expecting this,” Calum said curtly, his tone clipped but not overly angry or hostile. “It was a risk working with anyone who calls the water home when Cliodhna was our threat.”
Wyn grunted something in Elvish under his breath that Lyra didn't catch.
“You want me to throw her overboard?” Wyn hooked his thumb in Lyra's direction.
“No!” Theo shouted, extending a hand out towards Lyra as if to protect her from Wyn.
It was comical to think about, but the gesture touched Lyra.
She cursed inwardly as a fresh round of tears tracked down her face.
Theo was going to come for her heart at every turn.
There would be nothing left by the time they were done with this entire fiasco.
“I can swim, Theo.” Lyra offered up a small, sad smile, feeling about three feet tall. Her usual bravado had been squashed, but she couldn’t find it within herself to try to find it.
“Calum?” Wyn asked again, still looking at Lyra from beneath a furrowed brow.
“Why are you telling us this now, Lyra?” Calum asked calmly, still the picture-perfect image of a prince.
“Because I...” Lyra trailed off, steadying herself again. The worst of it was over; what was one more admission?
“I can't do that to Theo.” She turned away from him, looking down at her feet. He would no doubt be surprised, but somehow fix her with some placating, pitying look that would only serve to devastate her even further. Lyra had never felt so small.
“Lyra,” Theo started, but Calum kept up his line of questioning.
“And you know for certain that Cliodhna has your sister?” Calum leaned forward slightly, his large shoulders taking up the entire frame of the phone screen. Even thousands of miles away, he was intimidating.
“Yes, I do,” Lyra informed them, her head hanging low.
“She knew too many things about my sister's whereabouts, where she would be hanging out.
If she weren't being held prisoner somewhere, I would have seen her by now.
It's too much of a coincidence if she went missing by some other hand, the same week that Cliodhna claimed to have taken her.”
Wyn was still muttering in Elvish. Lyra refused to look at Theo's expression. Calum pressed on.
“Your pact with me is still secure, Lyra. If you hand Theo over to Cliodhna, you will die.” The words were even harsher now, even though Lyra had long agreed to their pact.
“I know.”
Calum didn't respond. The silence threatened to choke Lyra. No one in the room made a sound or said another word, waiting for Calum to pass judgment. When he finally spoke, Lyra nearly fell to the floor.
“I see no reason to change our plans now. Except, we have to make a contingency plan and see if saving Lyra's sister is possible.”
“What?” Lyra gasped, her head snapping to attention. At the same time, Theo made a happy noise of agreement, and Wyn snorted in outrage.
“She's a traitor!” Wyn protested, pointing in Lyra's direction.
“She's being honest with us,” Theo, ever the optimist, put his hand over Wyn's and tugged it back down to his lap.
“Oh, I don't trust her,” Calum clipped. It stung Lyra more than she expected.
She hung her head again. “But she's being more honest with us now than she was this morning, or yesterday, or the day before that. The plan continues. We try to find a way to save your sister, Lyra. And if you break our pact, you will die.”
Lyra raised her face and looked directly at Calum, hoping her expression was as earnest as she felt.
“I know.”