Chapter 42
LONDON
Way too cocky for his own good, Liam just stood there smirking and seeming really proud of himself for something.
Personally, I was beyond confused about what all this had been about.
One minute, he’d been with Barbie Girl and I’d been doing my best to give Brandon a real shot, and the next, here we were.
Clearly, Liam had been feeling all kinds of things about seeing me talking to another guy, and if I was being honest, I’d admit that I hadn’t liked seeing him with Barbie Girl. But none of that made sense.
We should be speaking to other people. We should be getting to know other single, desirable men and women and we should be trying to get ourselves out there, so why are we both still standing here?
The thought spurred me into motion and I flipped my hair over my shoulder, drawing in a deep breath before I started toward Brandon. He’d gone to speak to Barbie Girl while Liam and I had been talking, but his eyes lit up when he spotted me making my way across the warm sand to him.
I hadn’t said a word about where I was going to Liam, but I felt him behind me. Maybe not right behind me, but he was coming, alright. I just didn’t know if it was for me or the Barbie Girl.
“Hey, you.” Brandon smiled, his beautifully tanned face and sparkly white teeth enough to make a girl weak in the knees.
Only, my knees felt pretty darn firm right then. I returned his smile, though. He was a nice guy and I’d thoroughly enjoyed talking to him before we’d been so rudely interrupted. “Hey. I’m sorry about that. My cousin just needed me for a minute.”
“Cousin?” The girl blinked hard, but then a huge grin spread on her lips and she wiggled her fingers at us in a wave. “Speaking of, I think I hear him calling me.”
He definitely was not. I’d been able to hear the low tremor of his voice in my bones all this time, and I absolutely was not hearing it now. I didn’t call her out on it, though. It was better this way, with me sticking close to Brandon and Liam charming the literal pants off Barbie Girl.
As she disappeared, Brandon turned to me. “For a second there, I thought that dude might be your boyfriend or something.”
“Uh, no.” I had to force myself to say the words, which was odd, but I followed them up with a bright smile. “That’s just Liam. Don’t mind him. He wanted some pointers to use with her.”
I inclined my head in the direction the girl had disappeared in, and Brandon chuckled. “He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d need pointers, but it was sweet of you to help.”
“All I want is for him to be happy,” I said, and I really, really meant that. I just wasn’t sure exactly what I meant by it. Who I wanted him to be happy with.
“You’re a good person, London,” Brandon said, interrupting my thoughts. His surfer boy good looks came into full focus when I looked at him again. He was smiling like he’d won the lottery. “I think you’d like my friends. Would you like to come meet some of them?”
“Sure.” I followed Brandon into the sunset as he headed over to a group of guys sitting on lawn chairs on the patio and he introduced me to all of them, but I was having a hard time keeping Liam off my mind.
I also kept catching myself stealing glances at him where he was leaning close to Barbie Girl, saying stuff that was making her smile and paw at him.
When I looked again, however, they were both gone.
Something sour invaded my very being and I winced, trying but failing to shake it off. It’s just that random argument we had. That’s all. I’m just confused about why that even happened.
As accustomed as I was to arguing with him, that had been different. It had come out of the blue and it had felt almost accusatory, yet I hadn’t done anything wrong. Neither had he, but in the moment, it had felt like he had.
“London?” Brandon said and I blinked myself out of my thoughts.
Rising from the seat I’d taken, I shot him an apologetic smile. “Will you please excuse me for a few minutes? I just need to go find my friend real quick.”
Brandon offered me a cute, pouty grin. “Come back soon.”
“I will.” I think.
I glanced at each of his friends in turn, all of them sprawled out on their chairs, sipping their beers as the sun set in the distance behind the house. “It was lovely to meet you all.”
Spinning around without waiting for a response, I went on a hunt for Lorelei, thankfully finding her only a couple minutes later. Her eyes widened when she saw me. “And? How’s it going with Brandon?”
“Have you seen Liam?” I asked instead of answering her question.
She frowned, taking a quick look around before she shook her head. “If he’s not with you, I have no clue where he could be. He’s always protecting you.”
“He is not. We’re just friends. He’s only around me so often because we work together, but we’re not working right now.”
“Girl, you have it so twisted. Friends don’t look at friends the way he looks at you, and you weren’t at work the other night in that club either, but he never let you out of his sight.”
My heart started pounding, my mind suddenly replaying all the times I’d caught him looking at me—and not only this evening. It happened all the time, but I saw him looking because I was always just about to start staring at him in turn.
Why? I didn’t know for sure, but I was starting to suspect that it was the thing I didn’t even want to think about.
Lorelei reached for my shoulders and took them in a firm grip.
“You need to sit that boy down and talk to him, London, but you also need to seriously consider what you’re going to say when you do. ”
I blinked hard, looking right into her eyes and realizing that she was right. Liam and I did need to talk, but I still couldn’t see him anywhere. “Yeah, okay. I just need to find him first.”
“Do you want me to help you find him?” she asked. “Jerry is with Ron, but maybe they’ve seen him. Or maybe he’s at the grill with them?”
“Maybe. Thanks, I’ll check, but I’m sure I’ll be okay.” I probably needed a few minutes to figure out what to say anyway.
As I wound my way around the bodies packed into the kitchen, living, and dining rooms in the house, I tried to gather my thoughts, but with every step I took without seeing Liam, it was becoming harder and harder to think. Where the hell is he?
An image wound its way through my brain of him leaning in close to Barbie Girl and her, with her hands on his chest and peering up at him like…
I shook my head. No. Don’t go there. He didn’t sleep with that waitress the other night. He’s not going to fuck the Barbie out back either. Not without talking to me first.
Or would he? I didn’t own the guy. We just got it on every once in a while, but my instincts said that he wouldn’t sleep with anyone else now that we were benefiting from our friendship.
On the other hand, the guy was nowhere to be found. I did walk in on a couple furiously making out in the guest bedroom and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest until I realized it wasn’t him. The guy had sandy, light brown hair and he was much slimmer than Liam.
I shut the door quietly behind me and made my way back outside, seeing Jerry at the grill with a group of guys, but Liam wasn’t with him. Even so, Jerry was my best bet. If Liam had gone anywhere at all, he would have told his friend he was leaving.
“Have you seen him?” I asked quietly after Jerry had turned to face me. “I’ve looked everywhere, but—”
“He went home.” Jerry looked at me in a weird, pointed way that I didn’t quite understand. “Apparently, he’s beat after putting together furniture all day. I promised we’d bring him a burger.”
“Oh.” I glanced up at the sky, feeling like I’d been knocked off my axis. “Are you sure?”
Jerry smiled. “Yep. He came to tell me he was leaving a while ago. I’m pretty sure he’s gone by now.”
“Did…” The question died on my tongue, but Jerry seemed to hear the words I hadn’t said.
He shook his head and offered me a tiny, understanding smile. “No, he didn’t take anyone home with him. Just said he was tired and turning in early tonight.”
“Oh.” I sounded like a broken record, but shit. “He really left?”
“Yes, London,” he repeated gently. “He really left. Would you like a burger?”
I felt my heart sink. “Uh, sure. Also, is it okay if I get a ride home with you guys?”
“Of course. We’ll probably just eat and head out. Go grab a plate and I’ll get a burger ready for you.”
I nodded, but the action felt a bit wooden. In fact, everything suddenly just felt completely off. Liam had never left without me or at least without letting me know he was going and saying goodbye. It was a weird moment, having this realization that he hadn’t put me first.
I didn’t like this feeling at all. Fine, maybe he’d spoiled me by treating me the way he always had, but the fact that he hadn’t done it tonight?
I sighed and raked a hand through my hair.
Liam had always put me first. Always worried about leaving me alone.
Always ran to my aid whenever I needed him, no matter what he had to drop to do it.
Dang. I really am lucky. Or at least, I was. It’s just too bad I didn’t realize how lucky until now.
For a long moment, I just stood next to the table with the paper plates and all the burger toppings on it, trying to come to terms with him just leaving like that.
After the argument we’d had.
Did he leave because of Barbie Girl? Brandon? Me?
My thoughts swirled and I grabbed a hamburger bun, cracking it open and absently piling some lettuce, tomato, and cheese on it before drifting back to the grill. As promised, Jerry had a burger ready for me, and when he and Lori had made theirs, they came to sit with me on the patio.
Brandon had disappeared, but I wasn’t really sorry that I didn’t know where to. Lorelei frowned as she watched me looking around, absently searching for someone who wasn’t even here anymore.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “You don’t look like yourself.”
“I don’t feel like myself,” I admitted, dabbing my mouth with a paper napkin when I was done eating. “I think the day is just catching up to me.”
“Did you really forget to pay the extra fee?” Jerry grinned at me and shook his head. “Rookie mistake, Walker. Where was your head?”
With Liam, probably. I would never, ever tell them that, though, so I shrugged. “Honestly, I thought I was a pro-level online shopper, but even the pros fall down sometimes.”
They chuckled and kept chatting to me while they ate. After, we said our goodbyes and left. I rode home with them in silence, just listening to their banter as they laughed and gave each other hell about little things that had happened in the day.
Lori leaving the toothpaste uncapped. Jerry forgetting that the cheese was supposed to be a barrier between Lori’s bread roll and her lettuce on her burger. In the past, conversations like this one had given me toothaches, but right then, I found it pretty cute. Endearing, even.
When we got to the house, they went inside first, but I hung back, looking up at the crescent mood and the clear, cloudless sky. Liam was in that house, and I really had to gather my thoughts before I went to speak with him.
I still just didn’t even know where to start.