Epilogue
LONDON
Dressed and ready, I stood in front of the mirror in the beautiful hotel suite where my sisters and I had spent the morning together. Mom and Simon’s mother had been in and out, and so had Eden and Hazel, Abi’s two best friends since forever.
It had been a joyful, peaceful day despite the makeup artists and hairstylists that had also been working their magic on us. I should’ve been loving it, but I wasn’t. It kind of felt like I was missing my soul and nothing would ever make me happy again.
On one of the top floors of a skyscraper, our suite had a view of most of New York City, but I couldn’t even appreciate that. Even the beauty of being home to watch my sister marry the love of her life was lost on me today.
I hated it. I hadn’t enjoyed being primped and fawned over by the beauty team. The fancy champagne tasted like cardboard, and when I smiled at myself in the mirror, I knew everyone would instantly see that the smile was fake. Tears jumped to my eyes, but I knew I couldn’t let them fall.
No matter how miserable I felt, the makeup artist, Cindy, who had spent hours making my eyes less puffy would kill me if I ruined all her hard work. Besides, we didn’t have a couple more hours before the ceremony for her to put me back together again, which meant I had to suck it up.
It had been a full week since the fight—since I’d told Liam that I didn’t need him and had shoved him away from me—and the silence that had followed hurt more than anything he ever could’ve said. I’d tried calling him anyway, hoping for the chance to explain myself, but he’d never answered.
In the end, I’d opted for writing down my feelings in essays’ worth of texts, but he’d never read them. Liam had essentially blocked me out of his life and I understood why, which made it even worse. I had done this, knowingly and willingly, and not for the first time.
Only this time, he wasn’t giving me the opportunity to make it right. As someone who was prone to be stubborn, I couldn’t even be mad at him for it. I’d shut him out, pushed him away, and built a fortress around my heart instead of just trusting him with it.
I now knew how stupid that had been, but it was too little, too late. I glanced at the window, at the familiar skyline beyond, and wondered if any of the millions of people out there knew just how crappy I felt.
Not only was my heart broken, but I was to blame for breaking the heart of the man I loved, too. And the worst of it was that I’d done it before. Nah, I doubt anyone else has messed up as badly as you have, Walker.
Just a couple weeks ago, he’d had to forgive me at that retreat after I’d hurt him at games night. Before that, I’d hurt him so many times and in so many ways that I didn’t even care to remember them all, and it’d been out of fear, but that didn’t mean that it’d hurt him any less.
All I wanted today was to finally let go of that fear and let him in, but he was gone and he wasn’t coming back. While I was finally ready to love him the way he deserved to be loved, with all my heart and soul, Dad had told me Liam had lunch with his father a couple days ago.
I knew what that meant. He’d accepted defeat in their deal and he’d gone to lay down his arms. Any day now, he’d officially quit Walker and Co, and God only knew when I’d see him again once he did.
As tears welled hot on my eyelids, Abi came walking back into the room. She’d disappeared a few minutes ago, and she was glowing and teary-eyed herself as she reappeared, picking up the glass of champagne she’d set down on the coffee table and coming over to me.
“How are you holding up?” she asked after taking a small sip of her drink. “There is absolutely no light in your eyes, do you know that?”
I shrugged. “I’m trying to lock it all away, I promise. I won’t be the awful, unhappy person who ruins your wedding pictures.”
“I don’t care about that. I care about you.” She reached out and lightly squeezed my forearm. “With that thought in mind, I figured I should let you know that Liam is here, and, uh, he’s a groomsman.”
As she casually dropped that bomb, I froze, barely processing the random change in lineup before the wedding planner called that it was time and the bridesmaids started filing out of the suite.
Abi sent me a worried look but went to Olivia when she gestured for her to lead the way.
I stumbled after them, doing the best I could to keep my head up and my feet under me.
The wedding planner had an express elevator waiting to take us down to the chapel, and we’d rehearsed this. I knew exactly what to do, but my movements were mechanical, shock keeping me from being able to form a coherent thought.
The doors opened when we reached the garden level where the chapel was situated.
I saw him immediately. The others hadn’t even started exiting the elevator yet, but I was already completely zeroed in on him, Liam Jones, standing at the end of the hallway, calm, steady, and heartbreakingly handsome in his suit.
It was all I could do to remain upright and not crumble into a little ball, but as I watched my sisters, Hazel, and Eden stride out of the elevator ahead of me, I knew I had to stay strong.
For Abigail. And for Simon, against whom I’d held a grudge for so long, but I’d finally let that go completely this last week.
I knew now what it felt like to make a mistake.
The biggest mistake of your life. My mistake had been worse, even.
At least Simon had only made his due to pressure from his father. I didn’t have that excuse.
I also knew that he loved my sister with everything in him and that he was going to spend the rest of his life making her the happiest person in the world—and I knew it because that was what I would do if I was given the opportunity now, like he had been given.
“Hey, Blondie,” Liam said when we reached each other halfway down the long, carpeted hall. The others had gone ahead to the doors leading into the chapel, but for some reason, he’d come toward me.
I stared up into those eyes, still struggling to process that he’d come to the wedding after all, and not only that, but that he was part of the bridal party now. “How did you get here? Last I heard, you were in Texas, riding off into the sunset.”
A softer smile than I deserved from him spread on those lips, his eyes so full of love and kindness that it nearly made me bawl my dang eyes out all over again. “Believe it or not, your dad got me here.”
His voice was quiet, low and sure, and I blinked at him, stunned when he didn’t stop there.
“I need you, London. Whether you need me back or not I. Need. You. I also need you to know that I love you more than anything in this world and I’m never going to stop, no matter how hard you try to make me. ”
A tear rolled down my cheek and I couldn’t stop it. Shit, Cindy is going to kill me, but screw her. She’d have cried too if this was happening to her.
“I’m so, so sorry for saying what I said, Liam,” I managed to grit out despite the lump tightening my throat. “I love the absolute hell out of you, even when you’re driving me crazy. I need you in so many ways and telling you that I didn’t was a lie. A stupid, ugly lie.”
He smiled again. “I already knew that, princess.”
I sighed, chuckling through the tears that were now streaming freely down my cheeks. “Well, then you probably also know that I’m so tired of putting up walls. If you break my heart, well, at least I got to love you fully first. That’s worth the risk.”
As the music changed and just before the doors opened, he leaned down, his voice barely above a whisper as he brought his lips to my ear. “I love you, London Walker, and I always will. No risk involved.”
Shifting back on his feet, he offered me his arm as all the other bridesmaids and groomsmen fell into a line to enter the chapel, and as I took it, my heart was pounding.
For the first time in days, everything felt exactly right.
This time, I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that feeling lasted.
For both of us. Forever.
***