Chapter Thirteen Gertrude #2
Several were perfectly round and engraved with the profile of a Roman emperor sporting a laurel wreath. As I shuffled the bits of metal around my palm, I found one that caught my attention. It was identical to the coin I’d tossed into the Danube River four years ago.
When I looked up, Dr. Brooks regarded me closely. “You have found the outlier.”
“Where did you get this one?”
“I don’t remember.” When I tried to return the silver pieces, he added, “Keep that one. It’ll remind you of home and me.”
I didn’t want to remember home or him, but I didn’t know how to refuse. “Thank you.”
He sipped his coffee, motioned for the waiter, and ordered fresh coffee. “Tell me about your United States family,” he said. “You said you have a cousin there?”
I’d learned to keep my stories and lies simple. “My late husband has a distant cousin in New York who has agreed to sponsor me. But I don’t know very much about her.”
“Very lucky that you have a sponsor. And that you were able to get out of Austria. Many are now scrambling. If you’d delayed much longer, it might not have been possible.”
I’d witnessed the changes as the barge had floated out of Vienna along the Danube and down a canal toward the city of Constan?a, on the Black Sea. Sunken ships, armored boats equipped with guns, soldiers lining the shoreline.
When military vessels approached the barge one time, I was shown below deck to a small compartment under the stairs.
I’d remained hidden until weeks later, when the old sailor who’d carried me the length of the river had guided me to another boat.
He told me, “In Lisbon, the Salvadoran embassy officer can help you with papers.”
After spending months in Barcelona, I’d obtained identity papers in exchange for a diamond from one of my bracelets.
I visited the Lisbon docks daily to buy passage, but no seats were available.
And as I waited, I heard more news of bombings, deportations, troop movement.
Yet I only worried that Alfred would find me.
Finally, I was able to secure a small cabin.
When I presented my papers, the guard fixed his gaze on mine as he studied them.
I kept my stare steady as I slipped him 5,000 Portuguese escudos.
Finally, he stamped my papers so hard I jolted.
When I reached Port of Spain and saw the US soldiers, I’d taken some comfort. I was almost free.
“I was arrested in Vienna in 1938,” Dr. Brooks said as if sharing a daring secret. “I had been in Austria on and off since 1935, and suddenly the local officials decided I was a spy. Cost me a fortune to bribe my way out of that country.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Many had vanished into those dark cells and never been seen again. “You’re lucky to be free.”
“Indeed. It’s a shame such a lovely city has grown so dark. But we’re both far from any troubles in Austria.”
I didn’t believe that. The troubles were spreading now like a plague. “Yes.”
He left his meal untouched. “You said your husband passed.”
He was a curious man, but I couldn’t tell what he was after. Was he making conversation or digging for something deeper? My guard rose. “Yes. But if you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about him.”
“Of course. I understand. Painful memories.”
Dr. Brooks’s gaze pried at the lid of my Pandora’s box. “How far along are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”
The waiter delivered my breakfast, and when I reached for my fork, Dr. Brooks buttered a piece of his toast. “The baby is due in June.” The baby had been conceived on September 21, 1941.
“It’ll be quite a joyous moment in such dark times.”
“Yes.” I set down my fork, drawing in a deep breath. The past hovered so close.
“You must eat,” Dr. Brooks said.
I looked up, realizing he was still watching me closely. “My appetite comes and goes.”
“The baby needs to eat. So, you must eat.”
I was well trained to take orders and without thinking picked up a sliver of dry toast and took a bite. The bread was soft. As I ate, he made light conversation about the Oceanus and its history.
When I’d cleared my plate, he looked pleased. “That baby is hungry.”
“Yes.”
“Would you like to join me for a walk on the deck?” he asked. “It’s a pleasant morning. In a day or two, when we’re farther north, the weather will grow colder.”
In the months I’d been in Port of Spain, I’d savored the heat. “Yes, I would like the fresh air.”
He rose and came behind my chair, offering his hand. I took it and stood, feeling the weight of the baby bearing down on me.
“All right?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’m just a bit awkward these days.”
“That’s normal.”
He escorted me out of the dining room and up a flight of stairs. Soon we were stepping out on the windswept top deck. The morning sky was clear and the sun very bright. I inhaled the salt air, finding it more refreshing than city air, which always carried a stench.
We walked to the railing, and I stared out over the waves, which rolled under the sun’s glare. Easy to fall prey to the vast ocean, ready to swallow ships like this whole. As much as I savored the fresh air, my nerves tightened, and I felt oddly claustrophobic.
“The ocean really makes you nervous,” Dr. Brooks said.
“Yes.” My honesty surprised me. “Rivers I know; oceans are a different creature.”
“They’re one and the same. The rivers feed into the ocean eventually. And the ocean isn’t good or evil, but she’s to be respected. She doesn’t care much about either you or me.”
Hints of bitterness washed over his words. “Have you been at sea for a long time?” I asked.
“I’ve voyaged across water more than most. A ship I was on, the Valiant, was sunk off the coast of Africa.” He paused, and as the silence stretched, I wondered if he’d say anything else. “I don’t wish to frighten you.”
“Stories are just stories. They don’t scare me.”
A beam of sunlight washed out his face, making it tough to read his expression. “You’re not one who heeds warnings?”
“I have enough to worry about.” Dr. Brooks and I stood side by side at the railing, staring out over the rolling waves.
“Why do you still go to sea?” I asked.
“It’s how I make my living.” A smile nudged the corners of his lips. “I don’t hate the water. But I respect her power. And I’ve accepted she can take me at any moment, as a thousand other things can.”
“Death isn’t the worst fate.”
“Very true indeed.” He shook his head. “Have you practiced putting on your life jacket?”
“No.” I’d seen it hanging in the small closet.
“Practice. And take time to note where all the lifeboats are located. Do this several times a day, because when we panic, we forget what’s not drilled deep into our memories.”
Having a plan calmed some of my worries. “Better to be prepared.”
“Exactly.”
“Very wise, Dr. Brooks.”
He grinned. “You strike me as a woman who’s prepared to succeed.”
“I am.”
“Then you will be just fine.”
The sailors manning the three large navy guns sounded an alarm. One sailor shouted orders as the two others angled their guns toward the north. Dr. Brooks followed the line of the gun barrels and studied the rising and falling ocean waters.
I could see nothing but lurching waves. “What do they see?”
“Hard to say. They’re looking for any sign of a submarine.”
A chill skimmed over my body. If the ship went down, would we all survive the explosions or make it to a lifeboat? The odds felt against us.
“What if we are hit?” I asked.
Dr. Brooks studied the waters. “Chaos will break out. Most will panic and run in circles. If the ship is sinking, you must get to your cabin if you can. Put your life jacket on as fast as you are able. Don’t worry about your belongings.
Then rush toward a lifeboat. Stay focused and keep moving, and you’ll be fine. ”
An older couple walked arm in arm past us. It seemed impossible they’d lose control, but I’d seen how ruthless humans could be to one another. I gripped the coin tighter. “I will.”
We both stood in silence for several minutes until one of the sailors announced an all clear.
My breath remained trapped in my chest until Dr. Brooks’s shoulders eased, and he faced me.
The ruthless intensity melted. “See? Nothing to worry about. These moments are nerve racking, but they’re common on voyages like this. We’ll have more.”
He couldn’t make that kind of promise, but hearing it was a comfort. “I’ve enjoyed our conversation, Dr. Brooks.”
“Always a delight, Frau Werner. Will I see you at dinner?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I’ll have more charms and stories to share.”
“Always closing a sale?”
“Of course.”
“How can I resist?”
He saluted. “I’ll be looking for you.”
“Thank you.”
The lifeboats were large and looked as if they could hold a dozen passengers each. The baby stirred inside me.
“This has been lovely, but I must retire,” I said.
“Of course. I will walk you to your cabin.”
I’d journeyed across endless rivers, seas, and now the ocean, alone. “I can find my way.”
“That may be true. But I feel it’s my duty to walk you to your cabin.”
My skin bristled at the order, but I kept my expression neutral. “Thank you.”
We crossed the teak deck, went through the portal, and walked down the interior halls and stairs. When I reached my cabin, I was slightly winded, but a little less worried. I fished a key from my pocket and opened my door. “Thank you, Dr. Brooks.”
“If you need anything, please let me know.”
“I should be fine. Thank you.”
Inside my cabin, I closed the door. I sensed Dr. Brooks standing outside. I held my breath until I heard his footsteps echo down the hallway. He was charming. But Alfred had been pleasant once.