Chapter Thirty-Three
ELYSSARA
I soak until my skin starts to wrinkle.
A gentle knock at the door sounds, and I sit up again, grabbing the Starforged Blade from the stool next to the bath.
“It’s me,” Kael’s voice is slightly muffled through the door.
“I’m still in the bath. Hold on, I’ll put my clothes on,” I shout back, scrambling to get out of the deliciously deep bath.
“Don’t,” he quickly replies. What? “Wrap yourself in a towel... it’ll make sense in a moment.”
My muscles tighten in anticipation, and I can’t keep the butterflies from fluttering in my belly.
I wrap the towel around myself, tucking a corner into the space between my breasts and securing it. “Come in.”
As soon as he walks into the room, the air shifts.
As if my body knows he’s near and responds instantly.
He’s had a bath of his own, and is dressed in fresh linen pants and a sky-blue tunic that matches the hue of his eyes.
He carries a bundle of clothing—I can see linen pieces the color of rust and stone, and black leathers piled atop each other, and some.
.. rather scant underthings sitting on top.
“These are for you,” he says, his voice calm but firm.
He places them on the bed, unfolding each piece, and showing me the leathers that appear expertly crafted and tailored. The smell of new leather fills the room, mixing with the sandalwood and vanilla from the bath, as he fingers through the pieces.
I stare at them, my chest tightening with awe and anger and something else I can’t name. “I don’t need your pity,” I try to say it with bite, but it comes out as a whisper.
“It’s not pity,” he replies, his tone even. “It’s basic decency, and necessary for our travels ahead.”
“I don’t need you to save me, Kael,” I shoot back.
Kael’s lips twitched into a faint smile. “I know you are quite capable of keeping yourself alive. But being alive and truly living are not the same thing, Duskae. You don’t have to do it all alone. Let me help you.”
His calmness—and the accuracy of his words—infuriates me, and the heat in my chest spills over. “How did you even know my size?” I snap, my voice trembling with the cascade of emotions spilling over.
His smile deepens, slow and deliberate. “Elyssara, I’ve been studying every dip and curve of your body for days,” he says, slowly raking his eyes over my body.
Heat flares in my cheeks, and I hate the way my body reacts to his words, his presence, his gaze. I hate the way he can unravel me with a single look. I hate the way I feel so much when he’s around.
I’m not sure if it’s the ale, the bath, the tenderness, or the way his gaze clings to me, heavy-lidded and searing, but my hands move to the corner of the towel tucked between my breasts.
My fingers hesitate, trembling slightly.
I don’t look away from him, watching instead for any flicker of doubt, any sign that I should stop.
“Elyssara, no. Don’t do that,” Kael’s voice is low, strained, but firm. The sting of rejection washes over me, sending heat to my cheeks and making my stomach clench.
He must see it in my expression because he quickly adds, softer this time, “Not because I don’t want to, Duskae. You’ve had ale. You’ve fought for your life tonight. I can’t—not like this.”
His restraint should irritate me. It should make me push harder. Instead, it leaves me reeling, caught somewhere between frustration and yearning. “You won’t fuck me, Kael?” The bitterness in my voice coats every syllable.
His jaw tightens, and his gaze drops to the floor for a moment as if grounding himself.
When he looks at me again, his eyes are smoldering, a storm of need and control warring within him.
“Oh, Elyssara, I’ll fuck you,” he says, the words dripping with raw honesty.
“But when I do, it won’t be because you’re running from something.
It’ll be because you’re so hungry for me that you beg. ”
The breath catches in my throat. His words are a blow to my chest, knocking the air out of me and setting every nerve alight. Before I can stop myself, my fingers flick the edge of the towel free, and it falls to the floor in a whisper of fabric, pooling around my feet.
Kael’s reaction is immediate, visceral. His eyes sweep over me, lingering on my breasts, my hips, and the place between my thighs where my need for him is unashamedly obvious.
He groans, low and guttural, raking a hand through his hair, his head tipping back as though he’s pleading with the Stars themselves.
“Fuck,” he growls, his voice rough. “You’re going to destroy me, woman. ”
I take a step closer, emboldened by his reaction. “I want you to fuck me, Kael. Now.”
His eyes snap to mine, his body taut with tension. “I’m trying to be a gentleman,” he mutters, but the way his gaze roams over me betrays him.
“I don’t want a gentleman. I want you,” the words tumble out before I can stop them. They hang in the air, raw and unguarded.
For a moment, he doesn’t move. His chest rises and falls heavily, his hands curling into fists at his sides as if trying to hold himself back.
Then, with a growl, he closes the distance between us in two strides.
His mouth claims mine, hungry and frenzied, branding me with his taste.
It’s not soft, not gentle. It’s heat and fire, the brand of kiss that steals thought and leaves only feeling.
His hands roam my body, warm and firm as they trace the outline of me like I’m a map. His hands linger at my waist before sliding lower. My skin ignites beneath his touch, and when his thumb finds my clit, brushing light circles over it, I moan against his lips, pressing closer, needing more.
“You’re so wet for me,” he murmurs, his voice a husky rasp that sends a shiver down my spine.
“I always am,” I admit, breathless and unguarded.
His growl is deep, primal, and the sound sends a jolt of pleasure straight to my core.
He dips down, his hands sliding around my hips, slow and deliberate, before grabbing the backs of my thighs and lifting me effortlessly.
My legs wrap around his waist, and the hard line of his cock presses against me through his linen pants.
The friction draws a whimper from my throat, and I grind against him, desperate for more.
He pauses, his gaze locking on to mine, his voice heavy with restraint. “I won’t fuck you tonight, Elyssara. But I will bring you pleasure that will make you see the Stars themselves. Is that what you want? To drown in it?”
I nod, unable to form words.
“I need your words, Duskae,” he says, his tone soft but commanding.
“Yes,” I whisper, my voice trembling.
Something in his expression softens, even as his desire deepens. “I want you, too,” he whispers into the crook of my neck, the words like a promise.
He carries me to the bed, laying me gently on my back. The cool sheets are a stark contrast to the heat of my body, and I shiver as his hands trail down my arms, coaxing them away from where they’ve folded protectively over my chest.
“Let me see you,” he commands, his voice low and rough.
I take a breath, steadying myself, before slowly dragging my legs across the bed, parting them just enough for him to look. His gaze rakes over me, dark and heavy, as though committing every inch of me to memory. “This is what you do to me,” I murmur, running a finger through my wet center.
His breath hitches, and he closes his eyes for a moment as if the sight of me is too much to bear.
“You’re stunning,” he says, his voice reverent.
He leans forward, his brown hair just shy of black, falls across his brow and brushes his collarbones, and gods it makes me mad with lust. His massive frame towers over me, and he grabs my hand, bringing my fingers to his mouth.
He licks them clean, his eyes closing as though savoring the taste.
“Addictive,” he whispers. “I’ve wanted to taste you since the moment I met you. ”
Kael drops to his knees at the edge of the bed, his hands sliding up my thighs to hook them over his shoulders. My hips jerk up in response. “So needy, El,” he murmurs, his breath hot against my skin. “So perfect.”
Kael’s breath fans over my center, sending a shiver through me as anticipation coils low in my belly.
He pauses, his eyes fixed on me as if waiting for permission, though he doesn’t ask outright.
The weight of his gaze sends heat rushing to my cheeks, but I nod, the smallest gesture, and that’s all he needs.
His lips press against my inner thigh first, soft and deliberate, the scrape of his stubble sending a delicious jolt through me.
He kisses a path up my skin, each touch of his mouth igniting a spark until he reaches my core.
The first sweep of his tongue is slow, exploratory, and it pulls a gasp from my throat.
“Oh, Stars,” I breathe, my hands fisting the sheets at my sides.
Kael hums against me, the sound vibrating through my body. “Relax, Duskae,” he murmurs between strokes. “Let me take care of you. Let me help you forget.”
His tongue moves with purpose now, alternating between broad, slow licks and focused, teasing circles over my clit. My hips buck of their own accord, seeking more of the exquisite pressure he offers, but his hands grip my thighs, holding me in place.
“So impatient,” he chuckles, his voice thick with amusement and something darker. “You’ll get what you need. I promise.”
His fingers join the fray, one sliding into me with a precision that makes my back arch off the bed. He curls it just so, brushing against a spot inside me that I didn’t know existed. A moan escapes me, unbidden and raw, and Kael’s responding growl sends another wave of heat crashing over me.
“You like that?” he asks, his lips brushing against my clit as he speaks.
“Yes,” I gasp, my voice breaking on the word. “Stars, yes.”
“Tell me what you want, Elyssara,” he demands, his tone soft but firm, like an irresistible command.
My breath comes in short, ragged bursts, and I force my mind to form words through the haze of pleasure. “I... I want you to keep going. Don’t stop. Please.” I plead the words, almost begging.
“Good girl,” he purrs, and the praise sends a new rush of heat coursing through me.
I’ve never let anyone this close before, not really.
It terrifies me, but somehow, with Kael, it doesn’t feel like losing something—it feels like being found.
Every touch, every word, peels away another layer of the armor I’ve spent years building.
And yet, I don’t want him to stop. Stars, he can’t stop.
He adds a second finger, the stretch sending a sharp edge of pleasure through my building tension.
His tongue and fingers work in tandem, coaxing my body higher and higher until the pressure becomes unbearable.
My breaths quicken, my hands reaching out to grab at him, at the sheets, at anything to ground me.
“I can’t... I don’t know if I can—” The words tumble out of me, frantic and breathless.
“You can,” Kael interrupts, his voice steady even as his movements quicken.
“Come for me, beautiful,” he purrs, before my pleasure surges and my back arches off the bed, my hips grinding to add more pressure to my clit.
My breathing is ragged and intense, my moans getting louder, and my pussy clenches around his fingers.
“Good girl,” he encourages again.
His words are the final push I need. The tension inside me snaps, and my body shatters under the weight of the pleasure.
My back arches off the bed again, a cry ripping from my throat as wave after wave crashes through me.
My hands grip the sheets so tightly my knuckles ache, but I don’t care.
In this moment, there is nothing but Kael and the Stars bursting behind my closed eyes.
Every nerve in my body is on fire, but it isn’t just the physical sensation.
It is the way he looks at me, like I’m not broken, like I’m not running from something.
Like he sees all of me and doesn’t flinch.
I’ve given pieces of myself away before, but never like this.
This isn’t taking or giving—it’s being seen, and Stars help me, it terrifies me.
As I come down, my body trembling with aftershocks, Kael doesn’t stop. His tongue laps at me gently now, soothing, drawing out every last flicker of sensation until I can’t take any more.
He pulls back, his lips glistening as he looks up at me. The hunger in his eyes is still there, but it’s tempered by something softer, something almost reverent.
Kael removes his fingers, once again, licking and sucking them until there is nothing left but the afterglow from his mouth.
I stare at him, my chest still rising and falling quickly, and ask, “What... what was that?”
His gaze snaps to my eyes. “No one’s ever made you come like that?”
I’m silent. Still reeling.
“That’s how every lover should make you feel, El. You deserve that every time.”
“Oh,” I whisper.
He presses a kiss to the inside of my thigh, his voice low and rough, “You took me so well, El.” He brushes another kiss to my thigh, “I loved watching you fuck my mouth, Duskae. And my fingers.”
My cheeks flush, words catching in my throat. I let out a breathless laugh, the sound shaky but real. “That was... you were...”
Kael smiles, a rare, genuine smile that softens the sharp edges of his face. He grabs a blanket from the foot of the bed and drapes it over me, tucking it around my body with a care that feels almost out of place after what we’ve just shared.
Kael lingers on his knees, his chest rising and falling with controlled breaths. His fingers trembling slightly as he fidgets with the blanket, and for the first time, I realize that his restraint isn’t effortless. He is fighting his own battles, just as I am.
Kael pushes to stand, making his way to the top of the bed, and lies back, one arm tucked behind his head. “Come here,” he invites, motioning for me to lie with him.
I drift up, resting my head on his chest, curling into him in the afterglow of new found pleasure. “Thank you,” I murmur, as my eyelids start to get heavy. I don’t even try to fight it, I simply let myself enjoy the safety of his embrace, even if it’s just for now.
“Rest, El,” he says, his voice quieter now. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”
I want to argue, to tell him that I don’t need him to stay, but the weight of my exhaustion and the comfort of his presence are too much to fight against.
I want to stay here, in this quiet moment where I’m just a woman in the arms of a man who doesn’t see me as broken.
But I’ve learned that nothing in this world lasts—not warmth, not safety, not people.
As Kael’s arms tighten around me and his steady breaths lull me toward sleep, I let myself imagine, just for tonight, that this could be different.
Even as sleep pulls me under, a voice inside whispers: nothing this tender ever lasts.