Chapter 42
A week came and went in a snap.
After much deliberation, Cillian and Celine took my plan to go after Bethesda’s talisman under consideration, but only as a last resort.
Still, they insisted I study. It was unanimous that if it came down to a fight, I needed to be as ready as possible.
And so, every morning, I was to meditate with Cillian to strengthen my bond to my magic.
Midday, I studied spell theory with Gianna in Fhírinne.
And afternoons were spent with Roxie researching everything we could on the Ancient Lores and Old God history.
Apparently bringing Roxie back from the Ethereal realm had granted her more than just awakening her light magic.
It bestowed her with a rare gift to see into the Akashic records: the images of every occurrence in history projected in her mind like a TV screen, though she was still learning how to mold it.
Gia had taken a special interest in figuring out what it meant and why Roxie was unable to see into the Lores’ history in specific.
The two spent the wee night hours conducting research.
That is, when Gia wasn’t taking turns with Cillian shielding me from the Shroud, ensuring I wasn’t falling into Bethesda’s reaching hand.
When the week ended without so much as a wink of new information, Cillian finally broke.
We’d go after Bethesda’s talisman, but with a stipulation.
A ridiculous stipulation. I’d have to attend the dreaded Halloween Crawl.
Because real life is just as important as past ones, he’d insisted.
While it’d been hard to convince me to focus on anything other than revenge on Bethesda, everyone agreed one last night of normalcy was the best possible plan. Eventually, I gave in.
I fluffed the hem of the gown in Rox’s full-length mirror—a white wedding dress Roxie had found at a local thrift store, now covered in blood splats.
Taken from one of my favorite movies of all time, I’d decided on my costume: the ex-wife.
I chuckled at my reflection. A full face of makeup, hair done up in a bouffant updo, only to smear blood across my cheeks and smatter fake stitches on my forehead. Honestly, I loved it.
The bustling sounds funneling under Roxie’s closed door made my stomach turn.
So many people. I remembered Roxie’s words from earlier in the day: You can always head back to your place if it gets to be too much.
Considering people hadn’t even started showing up yet and I was already overstimulated?
The chances of that were high. But I’d agreed to give it my best shot.
Room wrapped in projected purple light and draping spiderwebs, Roxie waded through the room, straightening the candy bowl and themed cocktails on a table near the projector screen on the far wall. She’d settled on old monster movies, sticking to the theme of Days of Old. First up: The Thing.
The front door opened and closed in quick succession. Gia—who had ironically decided being a witch was costume enough—clicked her tongue, looking Roxie over as if she was the most interesting sight she’d ever beheld. “My, my. Aren’t you lovely.”
Rox’s cheeks brushed pink, almost the same shade as her outfit. “Thank you.”
In an uncharacteristic display of shyness, Roxie tucked the hair behind her ear, eyes falling to her feet. Gia rummaged in a well-concealed pocket at her hip, coming back to offer a small vial to Roxie. A glittery sheen twirled about inside, intermingled among various herbs.
“Here: to conceal your aura,” she said, handing it to Rox. “Nobody will know it’s you or even question your glamour. Can’t have people believing you came back from the dead now, can we? Even if it is Halloween. I made sure to add some sugar to help it go down easier.”
“Thank you,” Rox responded again, the blush on her cheeks deepening as their hands lingered in one another’s a second too long.
My eyes narrowed, carrying between the two.
Gia fiddled with her hands behind her back.
Roxie fought a giant smile, unsuccessfully I might add.
Wait a damn minute … If I didn’t know any better, I’d say they were …
smitten. Like, with each other. Roxie downed the vial before turning to me, clapping her hands excitedly.
“All right, you ready?” Roxie asked, the beads on her flapper skirt swaying in time with her feathered headdress.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I said, propping her dorm room door open.
The bustling sound in the halls carried in, making my stomach twist. Gia floated into the background, watching Roxie with acute attention, her lips quirking up every time the woman laughed.
A smile spread across my own face as their eyes met across the room, a blush spreading on Rox’s cheeks yet again.
Yeah … there was definitely something there.
Something blooming between them that I assumed had been born of those “unavoidable” late night study sessions.
Roxie hit play as the first guests came wading in, her wide smile greeting them on approach.
I searched the incoming flood of people, hunting for Cillian.
He hadn’t given me any hints about his costume, in typical Cillian fashion.
All he’d said was: I have no doubt you’ll be pleased. Like that wasn’t cryptic as hell.
The evening progressed and still no Cillian. By the end of the first movie, I resigned myself to the back wall, sipping on my second vampire-blood cocktail, tapping my ring on its edge. A figure drifted to my side, leaning up against the wall.
“Careful, little shadow,” Cillian’s voice tickled my ear. “You lean any farther into the darkness and you’ll disappear.”
I turned, and my breath caught. A black, pinstripe suit hugged his lean frame to perfection. And his face? Concealed by a cracked porcelain mask that did wild things to my body and imagination. “I see someone remembered what I enjoy reading.”
“Hey, what makes my woman happy makes me happy.” He leaned closer, voice husky. “I take it that my costume is a win then?”
“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t,” I teased. “I’ll never tell.”
“Don’t tempt me, Fey. I can think of a few ways to get you to talk.”
A smile caught my cheeks. “Is that a challenge?”
“Oh, she’s got fight in her tonight, I see.” He stepped in front of me, positioning his hands on the wall on either side of my head. “And what if it was? Do you have something in mind?”
This man … with one motion, one line, I was putty in his hands.
The same way I’d been the night he’d come to my rescue on the front stairs, teasing me to help me forget the torment of my own burns.
An idea peaked, and I turned to him with a grin.
“I recall someone mentioning a game of hide-and-seek we’ve still yet to play. ”
He cocked his head, mask catching the light. “I’m listening.”
“I’ll hide first.”
“And what do I get when I find you?”
“If you find me,” I pressed my lips to his ears, pulling his tie tight against his throat, “you can do whatever you like with me.”
He growled in my ear. “And if I don’t?”
“Then the deal remains, only the power is in my hands.”
“I like those odds.” A dark chuckle slipped through him. “One … two … three …”
I darted from the room, heart in my throat as I slipped through the crowds on my mission ever downward to the library. While I knew he’d search there and likely find me, I wanted him to. I wanted those hands on my skin, those lips on mine. I wanted him. All of him.
When I hit the bottom level, the voices and laughter faded away, everyone sequestered in the dorm halls, leaving the rest of Saint Peter’s eerily still. I tucked myself behind a shelf in the far back corner a second before I heard the first footstep fall.
His boot clomped against the hardwood floor. “Come out, come out, wherever you are.”
Chills raced up my spine and I held in my laughter.
His footsteps drifted to the far side of the library, and I started untying my boots, abandoning them at my side.
Nobody had said anything about changing hiding spots.
And bare feet were quiet feet. I crept around the corner, his footsteps heading in the direction I’d just left, and I raced on silent steps toward Fhírinne’s door.
“That’s cheating, little shadow,” I heard him call from the library’s recesses as I fiddled with the lock. “Barefoot or not, I will still find you. And cheaters, well … cheaters get punished.”
My face flushed, his words sending a wave of exhilarating fear through me.
I think I finally understood why horror and fear remained a favorite pastime for me, despite my haunted past. Curated horror was anxiety I could control.
And as I started down that long hallway to Fhírinne, Cillian’s steps echoing closer behind me, I relished the rush.
Just as I reached the doors, he snatched me, pulling me to his chest.
“Found you!” He trailed kisses up my neck.
I laughed as he positioned me a step forward, wrapping his hands over my eyes from behind.
“What are you doing?” I asked, but didn’t fight him.
“Do you trust me?”
I considered his question, the truth settling into my bones. “I trust you with my life.”
“Good, then don’t move. Keep your eyes closed and let me guide you.” He shuffled us forward in tandem, hands still pressed over my eyes. “Stay there, but don’t peek.”
“Yes, sir.” I snickered.
“Sir … mmm, I like that. Remind me to buy you books more often.” A few shuffled noises, one loud thud, and he was back at my side, lips pressed against my ear once again. “Okay, open.”
One look and I fell to my knees. There, plain as the day I’d first set eyes on it, stood my willow. Not ashen, not hidden in the Shroud, but alive, in full bloom, right before my eyes. My woken eyes! White candles jutted from the freshly dug soil at its base, illuminating the opalescent leaves.
“How—” I choked on my tears.
Cillian came to rest at my side, wrapping an arm around my waist. “I’m sorry it took me so long, but this was no easy tree to locate.”
He helped me stand and walked me to it. My bare feet sank into the loose soil, cool and soothing as my willow’s full leaves, fingers lacing through the familiar branches. “How—how did you get it here? How is it alive? I thought the fire destroyed it.”
“I hitched a ride on your last visit to the Shroud.” Cillian removed his boots, burying his feet in the dirt the same as me.
“It took a few tries, but I absorbed the burns. After that, it was Gia who really did the heavy lifting. She cast one of her aura spells over it, made it seem as though it didn’t possess its own life force.
I latched my arms around it, carefully pulled it from the ground with an air vortex.
Then I just had to latch onto your energy on your way back out—that was the hardest part really: you not noticing me. ”
I pressed my cheek to its rough bark.
“Hello, old friend,” I whispered, and met Cillian’s gaze again. “You are amazing, you know that?”
“Ah, come on,” he said dismissively. “I knew how much it meant to you, and I’m nothing if not a glutton for your smile, that’s all.”
I didn’t hesitate. Two strides and I leapt into his arms, wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him with the fierceness of a love that’d transcended time.
This patient, wonderful, kind man wanted me.
Waited for me, time and again, and I wasn’t going to keep him waiting any longer.
I placed my feet back into the soil, and pushed gently on his shoulders, guiding him to the ground.
I looked down over him, my hands on either side of his head. “How did I get so lucky to find you?”
“I’ve asked myself that for centuries, my love.”
My lips pressed once more to his: devouring, needing, wanting. His moan against my lips encouraged me, my hands unbuttoning his collar, slipping down his chest, and—
Cillian rested a hand on mine. “Wait. You don’t have to do that …”
I stilled, embarrassment hot on my face. “Do … do you not want me to?”
“Oh Gods, you don’t know how badly I want you to, it’s just …” He pushed to sit, tucked a curl behind my ear, and rubbed my cheek. “Please don’t feel like you have to, all right? It’s a big decision. One I don’t want you to rush. I’ve waited a long time to be with you again. If you need more time—”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, straddling his lap to look him straight in the eye. “I want this. I want you.”
His gaze darted between my eyes. “You’re sure?”
I considered his question, hearkening back on the times I’d given my body to others.
How, on occasion, it was fun at most, but ultimately unfulfilling in a way that made it a rare occurrence in my life.
But in that moment, wrapped in his arms, breasts pressed tightly against his chest, our breathing in perfect sync, I’d never felt more safe or wanted.
More … free. My head spun, caught up in the blaze he’d ignited in me.
I needed him to quench this burning ache for his touch burrowing under my skin, before it swallowed me whole.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. ”
His grin hit home in my center and riled me as he said, voice husky with longing, “I love you, Fey.”
With that, I was completely and totally undone.