22. Avery
“It’s OK, baby.”Duke holds me tightly, as I proceed to smear mascara and snot all over his shirt. “I’m here now. Everything’s going to be OK.”
I just cry harder, all the emotion and stress of the past twenty-four hours crashing down on me at once. “I’m sorry,” I sniffle, through gulping sobs, hating myself for breaking down. “I know I’m acting crazy and making a mess of everything and I should never have yelled at you like that?—”
“Hey, hey, look at me.” Duke tips my chin up, and I see the warm reassurance in his eyes. Steady and true, everything I’ve needed. “Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out together. I told you, baby. You can count on me.”
His words break open something inside me, that hard brittle shell I’ve been holding together for all my life.
And just like that, I’m not alone anymore.
He’s mine.
I reach for him again, pulling him down to meet my mouth in a heated, hungry kiss. I arch against him impatiently, gripping his shirt in my hand, needing to get closer.
I want him.
All of him.
“Whoa, wait a second,” Duke reluctantly draws back. He cups my cheek tenderly. “Let’s slow down and talk about this. Baby…”
”You can’t say that,” I remind him, my blood sizzling, hot and demanding. “Not unless you’re inside me.”
Duke inhales with a hiss, and then I’m fumbling with my keys, and throwing open the door, and launching myself at him again before it even slams shut behind us. We stumble until my back hits the wall, and his solid torso is hard against me.
God, yes.
“I missed you,” I whine, scrabbling at his clothing, sliding my hands under the fabric to luxuriate in the feel of his body.
“It’s been all of ten hours,” Duke growls, shoving his thigh between my legs and making me moan at the delicious friction.
“Too long,” I vow, grinding against him, kissing everywhere I can reach as he tears both our clothes off. “Don’t ever leave me alone that long.”
“You’re the one who left.”
I look up, and see the question in his eyes.
“I won’t do it again,” I whisper, meaning it with every bone in my body. “I promise. Whatever happens… it’s us. Together.”
Passion flashes in his eyes, and then Duke is kissing me again, devouring me, dragging me down to the rug and pinning me there beneath him with my shirt rucked around my neck and my skirt yanked clean away. “What do you need, baby?” he groans, palming my breasts with a possessive growl. “Tell me right now, and I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you the fucking world.”
“You,” I manage, already spreading my legs for him, shameless and wet. “I just need you. Now.” I pull him into the cradle of my thighs, shoving his jeans down and closing my fist around his straining cock. He’s hard and thick and so perfect, I moan, guiding him to where I need him most.
“You’ve got me, baby,” Duke vows, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I’m all yours.”
And then he fucks into me, and I just about lose my mind. “Duke!” I cry, arching up, needing him deeper, god, every last inch. And he gives it to me: hard and fast, thick delicious thrusts that drive me wild, clawing at his back. Deep, deeper… Duke doesn’t let up for a second, not even when I’m wailing so loud in pleasure, the neighbors are probably calling the cops.
Especiallynot then.
“Christ, baby…” Duke pants, driving into me again, grinding high, hitting that perfect spot, over and over again. “You’re perfect. So perfect. Fuck. Can you feel that?”
God, I can. It’s already clawing in my bloodstream, tight and wild and so damn good.
I cling to him, gasping, the storm rising, out of control. “Duke…!”
“I know, sweetheart,” Duke flashes a wicked grin, pinning me in place, fucking me senseless. “I know what it feels like when this pussy’s about to come all over my cock.”
Oh god.I shudder at his filthy words, writhing helplessly beneath his relentless thrusts. I’m close, so close…
“Yeah, I know what gets my baby there.” Duke continues, his voice low and steady and so damn smug. “And nothing gets you hotter than taking orders. So be a good girl for me, and come.”
Our eyes lock, and connection surges between us, white hot. I come apart, howling his name as the pleasure slams through me, a tidal wave of sensation that seems to have no horizon. Duke sounds an animal roar, and then he’s coming into me too, fucking us through it, holding me tightly like he’s never letting go.
Which would be just fine with me.
Eventually,we drag ourselves to my bed and collapse there together, naked and tangled up in the midday sun. I hold him tight, full of happiness and relief to be with him again.
“I never thought in a million years you’d follow me out here,” I admit, nestling closer.
“Why not?” Duke draws slow circles on my back.
“It’s LA. You hate LA,” I say wryly, looking up at him.
“It has its perks.” Duke grins, giving me a smoldering look. “And if this is where you need to be, for your career… well, they have historic homes out here, too. I can branch out to a West Coast office.”
I inhale in a rush. Duke’s expression is sincere, but I can’t believe it.
I sit up.
“You don’t have to say that.” I tell him quickly, emotions storming in my chest.
“I know,” he stretches, breathtakingly calm. “But I mean it. I’ll move here, or we can divide our time with the Cape. Whatever works for you.”
I shake my head. Is he serious? “My life is a mess right now,” I try to warn him. “The press, my career… I have all this baggage.”
“I’ll carry it,” Duke says simply. “It’s part of being with you.”
I gulp. “But you’re always complaining,” I venture in a soft voice. “How much trouble I am, how I’ll be the death of you.”
Duke’s smile disappears. He sits up fast, reaching to take my hands. “Baby, I didn’t mean it like that, I swear.”
I want to believe him.
“Look, you’re not the only one with baggage here,” he admits. “I’ve been… stuck. Ever since Rachel, I’ve been hiding out in Blackberry Cove, going through the same old routine. And then you come along and blow all that to hell– in a good way,” he adds, with a tender smile. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Avery. And I’m sorry if I made you feel even for a moment like I don’t want you around. The truth is, ever since the first day, seeing you on the side of the highway… I’ve been fighting for my life here, trying not to admit I was already falling in love with you.”
I forget how to breathe.
He loves me.
“You were?” I ask breathlessly, searching his gaze. And what I see there makes me want to take flight.
“Am,” Duke corrects me, with a heart-stopping smile. “Have done, will always be. In love with you.”
He kisses me, and I melt into him, so happy, I can’t believe it. “I’m falling in love with you, too,” I whisper, when we finally come up for air.
The smile on Duke’s face makes my heart sing.
“Come on,” he says, suddenly throwing off the covers and tugging me out of bed.
“Hey!” I protest playfully, clutching at my pillows. “Cozy! Warm!”
“Food! Fuel!” Duke teases, and I laugh.
“Food does sound good,” I agree. “I was too busy walking out with my head held high to grab any bagels. We can go to my favorite lunch spot,” I add sweetly, reaching for my clothes. “It’s this great vegan place, they do an amazing raw cauliflower and cashew pizza…”
Duke looks so horrified, I can’t keep up the ruse. “I’m kidding!” I laugh. “You should see your face right now!”
“Cruel woman,” Duke grumbles, pulling me into his arms. “You don’t joke about a man’s next meal.”
“Would the best Italian sub in town make up for it?” I ask, smiling.
“Now you’re talking.”
We get dressedand head out, playing tourists for the day as I show Duke all my favorite spots. We browse the bookstore in Larchmont Village, picnic in Griffith Park, and get coffees and people watch in Silver Lake– until we wind up in line behind a guy wearing the exact same outfit as him, from the plaid shirt and worn jeans, all the way down to the work boots.
“See, you’re right on trend,” I tease Duke, delighted.
He gives me a look. “His boots were polished,” he complains, “and what was with that damn mustache?”
I laugh. “Good question.”
We drive out to Malibu, and wind up strolling by the water as the sun sets. The day’s heat has cooled off, and I’m wrapped up in one of Duke’s sweaters, watching the waves – and trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life.
This time, though, it doesn’t seem so terrifying because I have Duke’s hand intertwined with mine.
“What do you want, really?” he asks me as we walk.
I sigh. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.” Duke gives me a smirk. “You always know exactly what you want. So tell me. It doesn’t matter how crazy it seems, we’ll figure out that part later.”
We.
I feel a glow, and squeeze his hand tighter. “Well, for starters, I want to stop caring what they say about me in all those stupid gossip magazines,” I say slowly. “You’re right, it’s a game I can’t win, and I don’t want to keep playing. If they want to write lies and bitchy headlines… Then I’m going to have to learn to deal with it.”
“Sounds good to me,” he agrees. “So… I shouldn’t go yell at the guy who’s been following us for the past half-mile?”
“What?” I turn. Sure enough, there’s a figure trailing us down the beach, with a telltale long-range camera in his hands.
I gulp, panicking about my hair, and make-up, and?—
“You’re not playing,” Duke reminds me with a gentle smile.
“Right.” I exhale. I guess my crash course in tuning out the tabloid noise starts now. If he gets a photo of me with hair in my eyes and my face screwed up because I’m laughing so hard at Duke’s impression of an east LA hipster…
I can live with that.
We keep walking. “What else?” Duke prompts me. “In the grand plan of Avery Lawrence, what’s next?”
“I want to work on better projects,” I continue, feeling clearer now. “Interesting characters, with people I actually respect. But it’s going to take a while, to find new agents, and win them all over, and prove I have the talent,” I add, bracing myself for another endless round of auditions and meetings.
“So, you’ve got time,” Duke says, like it’s not even a problem. God, I love this man’s faith in me. “And like I said, once I’m done with this construction, I can be out here with you.”
I pause, glancing over. “But what about the beach estate? All your rebuilding plans...”
Duke gives an easy shrug. “It’s just a house. Not even much of one, right now. I’m sure some other developer can take it off my hands.”
“No!” I protest, stopping. “You can’t sell! You love that place– and I do, too. At least, I will, once it has floors and a roof,” I add, before adding shyly. “Besides… I can see the two of us in that house.”
The two of us… for now.
“There is plenty of room…” he agrees, smiling widely.
“For that indoor basketball court. And… I don’t know, maybe a nursery?” I venture. Since I’m supposed to be brave about saying what I want, and all. “One day,” I add quickly, in case he’s about to freak out. “In the future. The very distant future.”
“Or, not so distant…” Duke meets my eyes, and it’s like the future is flashing between us: a vision of something joyful, and thrilling, and safe.
I pull him closer, kissing him deeply, too happy for words. So, when my skirt blows up in a sudden gust of ocean breeze, and the photos of my bright red panties wind up all over the internet and spark some big debate about thong underwear vs boy-shorts, and what it means for modern feminism?
Well, I’m too busy loving him to care.