CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
JAYDEN
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Josh and Ryder arrive an hour after the cops because I was unable to reach them until six. There is an emergency protocol, but this certainly doesn’t fit under that category.
I’m standing in the living room drinking my third cup of coffee with Tiffany on the other side of the room on the sofa, her legs tucked under her.
She’s rattled, and rightfully so.
I have some explaining to do to my employer. My plan was to head into the BHS offices and speak to Josh while Noah took my place. Once they knew my situation, I had zero doubt they wouldn’t want me on this assignment any longer.
So technically, in my head, spending the night with her after my shift ended was...okay, fuck, it was still inappropriate.
If I was at any point second guessing my decision to step back, that was shut down the moment I saw her panties in the bag.
Someone got in and out of this house while I was here and I didn’t hear a fucking thing. Now, I may have been highly distracted, but that is no excuse.
I’m yet to hear if the new cameras, which are now monitored, have picked up anything. That will give us a lot of information.
The cops have taken fingerprints and asked a thousand questions, including where I was and what I was doing. So the cat is out of the bag, and if I don’t update Josh and Ryder this morning, they’ll read it in the report.
“Your boy was here all night and didn’t hear or see anything,” the older cop says.
Thank you very fucking much.
Josh and Ryder turn to me.
“You were here? Overnight.” Josh asks, frowning.
“Yup,” I rub the back of my neck, praying for a little bit of privacy, but the cop just stands there like a fucking statue.
“Outside? I thought...ah.” Ryder puts two and two together and nods at the cop. “Got it. Okay, thanks, officer.”
The donut muncher takes the hint and wanders off.
“I sent the patrol home. This is my fault—”
“But you were here?” Josh glances between us.
“Jesus. He fucked her, Josh.” Ryder plants his hands on his hips. “He was inside the house.”
Josh drags his gaze from Delta Force operator to me. “That right?”
“Yes, sir.”
I was here.
I heard and saw nothing, and right now you are working that out and arriving at the same conclusion I’ve known all along. I’m not fit to do this job.
Josh rubs his jaw and nods.
Jesus, I hope he doesn’t fire me on the spot. I’m prepared, but I don’t want him to do it in front of Tiffany. I doubt she can hear from where she is, talking to one of the cops, but a man has his pride.
“Josh—”
He holds up a hand. “I know—”
“I was coming in to resign. This morning,” I admit, and Ryder curses.
“The fuck for?”
“I slept with her.” I nod in Tiffany’s direction. “Pretty sure that’s not in the job description. Especially when some sick fuck gets past our defenses. When,” I hiss, “I’m the fucking defense.”
“Okay, okay.” Ryder holds up his hands, trying to calm me. “Let’s just take a breather.”
That’s not going to fix this.
This isn’t about me feeling guilty because I fucked the pretty rich girl. Whoever broke in could have killed either of us. Could’ve raped her. Could have abducted her.
There is nothing about this situation that’s okay.
“Clear your head, Sniper,” Josh props his hands on his hips. “You are not resigning, and you also need to hear the story about how I met my wife.”
I’ve heard enough.
This is not the same.
“I’m not—”
“You risked your job to sleep with a client.” He glances over at Tiffany. “I doubt you are the type of man to do that lightly.”
Was I?
I wasn’t exactly a celibate monk.
“There’s more to it than this.” I glance at Ryder apologetically, feeling like I’ve deceived them all. None more than Tiffany.
“How much sleep have you had?” Ryder asks.
I run a hand through my mussed-up hair. “Two, three hours tops.”
“When Noah arrives, take a couple of days off. Then meet me in my office on Monday at ten.” Josh claps a hand on my shoulder, then glances around.
“Whoever broke in a second time knows what they are doing. Hate to say it, but if they wanted either of you dead, given what was going on, you’d probably be in a body bag. ”
Great.
That coming from a Navy SEAL.
“Agreed,” Ryder nods and heads over to speak to Tiffany.
“No offense, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. I didn’t hear a single thing.”
“No one would hear you coming if you planned something like this either. Or any of us.”
Josh has a point.
Still, right now I feel like all of this lands on my shoulders, and I bet that’s part of the fucking trauma I’m working through.
“Thomas will pull images thanks to your insistence and smart thinking with the security system. Remember that while berating yourself over the next twenty-four hours,” Josh adds.
We all end up watching Tiffany, and for some reason, I say, “She’s scared.”
“She should be; this is a serious situation. Has she agreed to cancel that outdoor launch yet?”
I don’t know.
Tiffany never responded when I mentioned it earlier. Which means she’s likely to be stubborn and do it, anyway.
With all the diamonds involved, it’s incredibly stupid for her and Maison to go ahead. Even with increased security.
Noah walks into the room and takes in the scene. “Hey. Fuck, what’s going on? Saw all the patrol cars out there.”
“Jayden will update you. I need to head into the office for a meeting. Ryder!” Josh calls out as he walks off. “You coming?”
“Yo!” Ryder appears.
“Triple her security, and someone fucking talk her out of this makeup launch. Triple the security on Ms. Stallone's property,” Josh says to Noah and Ryder. “Jayden and I are meeting on Monday.”
Ryder shoots me a sharp look but doesn’t say anything, while Noah just hangs back a little. I know he’s got a lot of questions, but I’m not filling him in on what happened between Tiffany and I personally.
She deserves some privacy.
Tiffany walks over; hurt and fear lining her face. I hate that I’m responsible for most of it.
I fucking hate it.
But at least she’s not in one of those body bags that Josh mentioned. There is a small possibility that my presence actually stopped that from happening.
I don’t know.
But it could get me through the next few days to believe that.
“Jayden, can I have a word?” she asks softly.
Nodding, I follow her down the hall to her office. I close the door behind us.
“You okay?”
“Please don’t blame yourself—”
“I am to blame. If I’d heard something, if I hadn’t told the patrol to head home, they won’t have got back inside your home.”
Her hand lands on my chest, and I grip it. “Or I could be dead.”
It wasn’t necessarily true, but clearly we were both clutching at straws. I didn’t want her to romanticize last night. It couldn’t amount to anything. We were worlds apart, and ensuring she had the right security to keep her safe was the priority.
“We don’t know that. Noah is here now, so why don’t I go introduce you.”
“I need you.”
“No. You don’t. Those guys out there are better trained than me, Tiff.”
“You aren’t hearing me. I need you,” she pleads, and I curse, shaking my head.
“Listen...”
Her hand falls away, and the feeling of loss is palpable. This is it. This is where I say goodbye, and she accepts that I’m not worth it.
It was inevitable.
“I’m not expecting you to confess your true love to me after last night, Jay. I trust you, and I need that feeling around me right now.”
So, it meant nothing?
My mind is so fucking tired, confused, and goddamn stressed with his ongoing noise and anxiety.
Something in me snaps.
“Maybe you shouldn’t trust me,” I growl roughly, leaning closer. “Jesus, look what happened. I took advantage of you, and someone got inside your goddamn house.”
I can’t do this.
I can’t be the person who everything thinks I am. I can barely keep my head straight.
“Bullshit, Jayden. You forced me to put in those cameras. You protect me even when you don’t need to. You wouldn’t normally even be here at night. Whoever got in, would have whether you were here or not.” Tiffany prods my chest. “But that’s not what this is about, is it? It’s about us.”
She’s wrong.
“They’re just fucking cameras,” I say, ignoring the rest.
“You did it because you cared!”
“It’s my job. Stop reading into this.” I ruffle my hair, uncomfortable with this conversation.
Hurt fills her eyes as she glances away.
Fighting the urge to pull her into my arms, I seek another solution. “Perhaps you should move in with your parents for a few weeks.”
Cold, hurt eyes return to mine, holding my stare for a long moment.
“So, this is it? You are leaving. Job done. Now, this new guy takes over.”
“Yes,” I answer.
Tiffany nods.
A simple, dismissive nod, void of any emotion. It’s my cue to leave. It’s the exit I’ve been seeking.
So why am I still standing here?
Josh has given me until Monday, but I already know what I’m going to do.
What I do beyond resigning, I have no idea.
I’ve left the Air Force; my sniper career is over. The PTSD I left with hinders my ability to undertake even low-level security tasks. Guess I should ring the HR team at McDonald's.
“I’ve got to go.” I take in the woman I spent the evening pleasuring. How my body felt against hers as I explored every inch of her soft skin. The way she arched at my touch, moaned her needs and desires.
Screamed, fell apart, then clenched around my cock as she took me into her mouth and ripped another orgasm from me.
Tiny creases around her lips have me lifting my hand and rubbing my thumb over them. Big eyes lift, a flash of hope.
Hope that’s about to die.
“You were amazing,” I rasp, stealing this last moment.
Her eyes fill, but I can’t stay. I can’t fix this or change it. I am not worthy of this woman, nor can I protect her.
That’s who I am: a protector.
As I feel my heart crack, I walk to the door, open it and stride down the hall.
Then out the door.
She’s safer without me.
––––––––
ON MY WAY home I ring Liam.
“Need to delay our catch up,” I say when he answers.
“Dude, we need to talk,” Liam presses.
“A lot has happened. I need to get some sleep,” I say and hang up.
He’ll hear the gossip from the boys in the BHS gym when he gets to the office. I don’t have anything to give anyone right now.
I need a shower, then sleep.
I turn up the stereo so that I stay awake as I drive and tune out my endless, self-berating thoughts.