Chapter Twenty
Jen bit into one of the clementine and sloe gin mince pies Marnie had brought, closing her eyes as the sweet, spiced flavour spread through her mouth and the buttery pastry melted away.
‘Oh my God,’ she said, staring at her in wonder. ‘You’re an actual genius.’
Marnie laughed. ‘Oh, I don’t know about that!’
‘What do you think?’ Jen asked the children as they ate the Christmas-light cupcakes Marnie had brought for them.
‘Genius,’ Amy said, nodding, her eyes wide and serious as she chased a blob of icing from the corner of her mouth with her tongue. ‘Georgie, say genius!’
‘Sus-sus!’ George shouted happily from his highchair, sucking on the soggy remains of his cake.
Marnie laughed. ‘How’re you feeling now?’ she asked, turning her concerned gaze to Julia, who sat at the other end of the table, looking pale. She’d kept herself as far away as possible to avoid sharing her germs.
‘Muched better,’ Julia said, her blocked nose stunting her words.
Jen shook her head. ‘She’s still quite rough, it’s been a nasty one.’
Julia, too fragile to argue, gave a watery smile.
‘You poor thing,’ Marnie said, pulling a flask from her bag. ‘I brought you some turmeric and ginger tea, that might help.’
‘Thand you.’
Amy giggled. ‘Mummy sounds funny.’
That was all the sympathy Julia was going to get from her daughter. But Jen, hard as she might try to hold on to her frosty feelings towards her sister, could see she felt miserable, and had been doing her best to look after her, making soup and buying Lemsip from the post office.
It was getting harder and harder to hold on to the distance she’d maintained between herself and Julia for so long, now they were under the same roof, now Julia was ill and yet valiantly struggling to continue looking after the children.
Now Jen was reminded daily of Julia’s warmth and wit and kindness.
The cruelty she’d experienced from her had happened only once, and long ago.
She could almost convince herself it had never happened.
Almost.
By the time the cakes and snacks were eaten and the teapot emptied, they had a plan.
Jen would prepare craft activities that could be left for the children to do, and Marnie would set up some biscuits to ice.
Despite herself, Jen felt a little spark of excitement in her stomach, and as soon as Marnie left she began googling ideas and planning.
‘Nice to see you idspired agaid,’ Julia said, smiling over her special tea and stroking Tig, who had jumped onto her lap and was now curled up, purring loudly.
‘Thanks.’ Jen wanted to stay cold, but the sight of Julia’s poor red-raw nose and the warmth in her eyes made it impossible. ‘It’s nothing much.’
‘You’b always had a gift with kids,’ Julia said as she watched Amy crawl onto Jen’s knee and begin a drawing.
She reached across the table, wiggling her fingers until Jen relented and gave her hand a little squeeze. When Jen tried to pull away again, Julia held her fast, her grip surprisingly strong for a sick woman. Her eyes were full of anguish.
‘I’b – I’b so glad you’re here. It’s been lovely and I – Jen, I’b so sorry about what I said that time, I was just young and stupid and I – I’b really sorry, that’s all.
’ She slumped down in her seat, picking at her nail, tears trickling slowly down her cheeks.
She hastily wiped them away as Amy shot her a concerned glance.
Jen’s stomach dropped. Julia was making it really hard to stay angry at her.
‘I’b OK,’ Julia said, giving a shaky smile. ‘Just this stupid cold makind me teary. But you – I’b so sorry I hurt you, you didn’t deserve it.’
Bugger. It really was impossible to stay angry at Julia when she insisted on saying things like this, and looking at her with her big teary eyes.
Jen sighed. ‘Oh, I’m not—oh!’ her phone buzzed, and she almost tipped Amy onto the floor in her haste to get it out of her pocket, glad of the distraction.
Perhaps it was one of the bands or children’s DJs that she’d contacted about the Christmas fair. So far, she wasn’t having much luck – they were all either fully booked, too far away, or simply not replying to her messages.
But, if she was honest, that wasn’t what she was hoping for. She was hoping for Anthony.
And the message was from him.
Her heart was beating so fast she thought she might throw up.
Hey. Can’t wait. Dinner? x
She stared at the phone, hands shaking, relief flooding through her.
The message was brief and to the point – not what she’d expect from a writer, or from a man who’d had whole, detailed conversations with her over text. But he wanted to see her again, and that was all that mattered.
Julia frowned. ‘You OK?’
And, after Julia’s tears and apologies and kind words, Jen couldn’t resist any longer.
‘Well, something has happened . . .’
A playful light danced in Julia’s eyes, and she hurried the children into the living room with a Disney film and free access to a bag of cheese puffs. They were so shocked and thrilled by this extremely rare occurrence that they stayed quiet for a good hour.
‘Tell me everythind,’ Julia said, leaning forwards and grabbing Jen’s arm. Remarkably more cheerful now. ‘I’b a boring old married woman, I need to live through you!’
So Jen did. She told her about the meeting on the train, bumping into Anthony in the bar by chance, the connection she felt with him. His eyes, his cheekbones, his lips.
And, as they giggled over her accidentally falling into Anthony’s lap on the train and as Julia sighed and went a little dewy-eyed at hearing how Anthony had told Jen she was special, Jen felt as though she was transported back to their teens.
That closeness they’d shared felt as strong as ever.
As though the awkwardness of the past few years had never happened.
As though Julia had never said those things.
When Jen talked about why she’d gone to the open mic night, even though it had hardly lived up to expectations, and about the art class, Julia frowned and laughed at the same time.
‘Why are you doind that?’
‘Well, because I want to learn a bit about the things he’s interested in and the things he’s good at. You know. Nothing wrong with expanding my skills, right?’
Julia looked doubtful. ‘I suppose. So what’s your next date going to be? You going on a walk or something, you love that, don’t you? Or to the cinema to see a classic film somewhere?’
Julia’s expression was hopeful.
Jen shrugged. ‘Out for dinner, I think.’
‘How romantic. The last time Dan and I went for dinner it was at Pizza Hut. With the kids. Where are you goinb?’
But Jen didn’t know. She didn’t know what Anthony liked to eat yet.