Chapter Twenty-One #2
She walked away, and he ran a couple of paces to catch up with her.
‘Look, Jen, I’m really – I’m not trying to upset you.
’ He touched her arm and she stopped, turning towards him.
His dark eyes stared at her intently, his breath clouding in the frosty night air.
‘I just – don’t waste yourself on someone who doesn’t want you for you, is all I’m trying to say.
You – you’re the smartest, sweetest, funniest person, just as you are, and if this guy can’t see that then he’s a waste of your time.
I – you don’t need to pretend, is all I’m saying. ’
She stared at him, in the light of the street lamp that caught the swirling snowflakes, making them glitter, and felt her irritation melt away.
He had only ever looked out for her, and celebrated her for who she was.
Even in her toughest times, when she’d felt entirely lost, Ted had been there, steadfast and kind.
No matter what. Always reliable. Always on her side.
Balancing on her toes, she reached up to kiss his cheek, laughing as she wiped snowflakes from his neat beard.
‘Still can’t get used to you in face furniture,’ she said. They walked on, past a row of cottages and towards the school. The Santa on the sign had fallen from view almost entirely, one of its fastenings having come loose, and it lay head down on the other side of the wall.
‘Oh no!’ Jen said. ‘We can’t leave him like that, the kids will be so disappointed.’
Ted peered over the wall as best he could. ‘Ah, not to worry. I’ll get it sorted on Monday.’
Jen shook her head. ‘But the children will all have seen him by then, it’ll be too late. I think I can fix it now, hold on.’ She jumped and pulled herself up the wall as far as she could, peering over the top to see the poor Santa flapping around.
Ted was laughing. ‘What are you doing, crazy woman?’
‘Just – I want to fix it. Give me a leg up, will you?’
Laughing and shaking his head, he bent and cupped his hands so that she could put her foot in them and boost herself up. ‘This is going to go the way of the cat rescue back at college,’ he said.
Jen jumped, aided by him lifting her, and managed to scramble to the top of the wall and bend over it precariously to reach down for the Santa.
‘Careful!’ Ted called, a note of fear in his voice.
‘I’m fine,’ Jen grunted, balancing her stomach over the top of the wall, legs flapping, as she grabbed for Santa and missed. ‘Stop fussing!’
She almost had him. Just a little further and she would have Santa safely back in place.
With a little lurch, she pushed herself a bit further over but, just as her fingers closed around Santa’s leg, her balance tipped and she plunged forwards, almost landing on her head on the other side of the wall.
Jen gave a little squeak of fear and Ted grabbed her legs, pulling her back, and caught her as she fell.
He held her tightly, his arms closing around her waist, her body pressed against his.
It wouldn’t have been much of a fall, but her heart still crashed from the shock, her hands trembling as she held on to Ted’s strong arms that wrapped around her.
‘OK?’ he asked softly, his eyes locked on hers.
And Jen remembered, as though the years in between had melted away, their brief time as a couple back in college.
Remembered being held in these arms, both the safest and most exciting place she’d ever been.
Remembered those eyes, looking at her as though she was the most precious thing in the world. Looking at her as they did now.
She remembered the feel of his lips, tender against her own.
Leaning in to him, feeling the warmth of his body against hers, she began to rise onto her toes, began to lift her face towards his. The memories were so strong that, for a moment, she felt as though they were back there, in that life, together again.
Just in time, she stopped herself.
What was she doing? Ted had a girlfriend, and Jen was not that girl, she would never be the one who betrayed another woman like this. And she only wanted Anthony. Didn’t she?
But Ted was still holding her close, still gazing at her. And she knew how those lips would feel, pressed against her own.
Shaking, she laughed and pulled away.
‘That was close!’ she said, her voice ringing too loudly, echoing in the empty street.
Ted smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. ‘I knew you were going to do yourself a mischief!’ His voice trembled a little, and she wondered whether he was as shaken as she was.
They needed to get back to being their usual selves; friends, and no more.
Jen scooped a handful of snow, balled it and threw it, managing to catch Ted right on the top of the head.
He yelled and laughed, screwing up his face. ‘Ugh, right down the back of my neck!’ he said, shaking the snow out of his hair and bending to pick some up.
Jen squealed and ran off, managing to dodge the snowball he threw, jumping out of the way and shrieking with laughter as it whistled past her ear. She sprinted across the green, past the bench and the frozen pond, where the ducks clustered in a sleepy heap under the tree.
Ted was in hot pursuit, slowed down only by having to stop to grab more snow to throw at her. He managed to hit her on the back of the head, and she heard him guffaw as she cried out in protest at the sudden wet, icy blast in her hair.
She just had time to stop and make one last snowball, hitting him on the shoulder before she raced into the safety and warmth of the village hall, laughing and shaking snow out of her damp, tangled hair.
Ted burst in after her, flushed and grinning, a starburst of snow spread over the front of his coat.
They both stood in the hall, laughing and patting snow off themselves and onto the floor. It was only when they turned around that they quietened, realising that the art class was still going, and everyone had turned to stare at them. Sarah glanced from Ted to Jen, her brow furrowed.
There was a moment of awkward silence.
Jen cleared her throat. ‘Sorry. We—’
Ted spread his hands in an apology. ‘We were just—’
‘Right,’ Sarah said, her voice quiet. ‘I think we’ll call it day, everyone. See you next week.’ She turned her back and began gathering her supplies, while the rest of the class shrugged into coats and tidied their equipment in silence, occasionally glancing at Jen and Ted.
Ted caught Jen’s eye, then hurried to the front of the room, talking to Sarah in hushed tones. And Jen walked back to Railway Cottages, feeling as though she’d made yet another mistake.