Chapter Forty
Jen barely slept.
Everything was ready, in a last-minute, ramshackle, Babblebrook kind of way. It wouldn’t be the event she’d first planned, the smooth and organised fair, with a professional band, professional catering and a professional donkey.
Well, a real donkey, at least.
The gleaming, professional, hiccup-free event that she’d originally envisaged, that was supposed to show Ted what a capable and reliable person she was, it was not. But it was happening, and that was the best she could manage under the circumstances.
She rose when the rest of the family did, the sky still dark, the snow still falling, adrenaline running through her. She had slept fitfully, dreaming of donkeys stampeding around the school hall, eating their way through the food and then breaking into a rendition of ‘Fairytale of New York’.
Shuddering as she remembered, Jen slumped over the kitchen table, pulling George up to her as he scrabbled onto her knee. Dan, looking not unlike a scarecrow with his pyjamas rumpled and hair sticking up, filled the kettle.
‘Coffee?’ he asked, rubbing his eyes.
Jen and Julia spoke at the same time. ‘God, yes.’
He laughed and shook his head. ‘You two really are double trouble, aren’t you?’
Jen grinned. ‘It’s been said before.’
‘All set for today?’ Julia asked Jen, looking at Dan as though he was some kind of god as he placed a mug of coffee in front of her.
Jen shrugged. ‘I mean, yeah, in a last-minute kind of way.’
‘It’s great you’ve pulled this off, I’m so proud of you.’ Julia took a sip and grimaced at the heat. ‘Ted will be well impressed.’
Jen took a gulp of coffee, keeping her mug away from George’s grasping hands. ‘You know, Pat said something funny yesterday. About Ted, about Ted and me, she said – she thinks we should be together! I mean, you know . . .’ She cleared her throat. ‘Like – romantically.’
Her voice had gone strange. She couldn’t remember how to speak properly.
There was a moment of silence, as everyone in the room turned to stare at her. Even Amy, the spoonful of Shreddies hovering in the air in front of her open mouth. Even George, who shifted on her lap to turn and stare at her quizzically, his little hand reaching to pat her cheek.
Jen turned to kiss his warm palm.
‘I mean, it’s crazy, isn’t it?’ She laughed, but somehow it didn’t sound right. ‘It’s – it’s crazy.’
Julia and Dan exchanged a glance. He cleared his throat. ‘Um, I’m just going to – Amy, let’s go and clean your teeth.’
Amy frowned. ‘But – I haven’t even still finished my breakfast.’
‘Never mind.’
He picked her up, and she laughed as he jiggled her around on his hip.
‘Jen,’ Julia said softly. ‘Don’t you think that maybe there’s something between you?’
‘I . . .’ She laughed. ‘No, we’re just friends. We’re just – really good friends.’
Julia raised her eyebrows. ‘OK.’
‘I mean, he’s just – he’s Ted. He’s – yes, he’s always been there for me, and we know each other really well, and yes, we have a bit of history, but that’s ancient, it was nothing.
’ She frowned. She had a sense that she was talking too much, but Julia’s silence and patient expression were unnerving her.
Julia shrugged. ‘You’re very relaxed with each other. It feels like you can just be completely yourself with him.’
Jen nodded enthusiastically. Her sister’s words rang through her, giving her clarity at last. ‘Exactly, yes! Like you are with your friends. If it was anything more it would feel different, wouldn’t it?
It would be butterflies in your stomach and dramatic fights and passionate make-up sex and all that.
’ She thought of Anthony, the strength of the connection she’d felt with him, the way he’d looked at her that made her melt and want to rip into his shirt at the same time.
If only that had been real. It had felt like the kind of head-over-heels love that pop stars sang about, that the classic films she watched told of.
Blinking away tears, she drank the last of her coffee and kissed George’s plump cheek. She had a busy day ahead. The children were counting on her, Ted was counting on her, and she couldn’t afford to let her feelings about Anthony derail her.
Giving George one last squeeze she stood up, plonking him on Julia’s knee.
‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘That was a good sister-chat. You know, for a minute there I was almost getting a bit confused about Ted! Thanks for helping me get clear on it again.’
She grabbed a satsuma from the fruit bowl on her way to the door. She needed to have a shower and get ready; there were a hundred things she had to do right now.
Julia sighed as Jen left the room, and spoke softly to George. Jen must be mistaken, but it sounded like she was saying, ‘What are we going to do with her? Eh?’