Chapter 4
SHAY
The first bar is a disaster. When a total stoner corners Raven and doesn’t take her “get the fuck away or your ability to father children ends” as the not-so-subtle hint it is, we trek to the next place we find, music thumping from the door.
Then uninvited hands land on Lily’s backside.
She squeals and drags us out, not that I mind.
Not one guy there had my libido fluttering to life, but the idea of calling it a night doesn’t sit well. The bra and the snowball epiphany still have my adrenaline coursing, and I can’t stop thinking that if I return to the condo, if I wash up and go to sleep, I’ll wake up as the old Shay.
All progress made today will vanish. Poof. Gone.
But the girls have had enough, so I agree to head back, no hot men in tow. I’m dragging my feet as we turn off the street to cut through another group of condos.
“God, it’s cold for March.” Lily jumps with each step, hugging her arms tighter.
I walk even slower, delaying as we inch closer to our place. The path is lined with single-story condos, some with their lights on and curtains open. A couple is huddled on a couch watching TV, the two of them making out. And I smell…popcorn.
Mmmm, popcorn. I could totally go for a snack. Something crunchy and salty, like dill pickle chips. Or salt and vinegar.
A few windows down, a group of friends is chatting and laughing as they pour drinks and clink glasses, all the while my tongue tingles and my mind chants chips, chips, chips. Maybe I should look for a convenience store.
Then I freeze. Holy shit.
Raven and Lily are several strides ahead, but I stand, unmoving, my eyes fixed on the next condo window, all thoughts of snacks gone.
A tanned white guy is sitting in the small living area by the window, his legs propped on a coffee table, and this guy is H-O-T hot.
His corded neck, strong jaw, and casual yet trendy hair—short on the sides and shaggy up top—put every man we saw tonight to shame.
“I didn’t peg you for the Peeping Tom type,” Raven calls as both girls stare at me from the end of the path.
“Get over here,” I whisper-yell while waving.
Deep sighs carry across the crisp air, but my friends humor me and trudge back.
“No way,” Raven mumbles when she reaches my side and follows my line of sight. “Isn’t that the guy from today, Lil? The one who helped you?”
Lily inhales sharply. “Wow. Yeah. God, he’s cute.”
We both face her, eyes bugging. “Did you just say wow, Lil?” I ask. “Did the woman who claims she doesn’t need to look at other guys because she has a boyfriend just gawk at the manly perfection in there?”
She swats my arm and is about to reply when Raven adds, “Unlike Kevin, I don’t think your knight in shining armor was on that fieldtrip with you when you first got your monthly friend. Maybe it’s time to date someone who hasn’t known you as long.”
Lily squints, her white-blond brows pulling together. “I’m not even going to dignify that with—”
“And there’s his friend.” Raven’s dreamy tone sends my focus back to our peep show as she attempts to lift her jaw off the snow.
“Holy mother of God,” I say.
Another man walks from the living area to the adjoining kitchen, and I have no idea how he fit through the front door.
Hercules would have a hard-on for those shoulders, every inch of light-brown skin covered with black ink.
The guy’s neck is the size of my thigh, and his arms are cut, his T-shirt clinging to each and every muscle.
Raven stares, transfixed. “That is a lot of man.”
Lily nods. “Too bad the bars didn’t have guys like this. You two could finally get some action and stop dragging me around.”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to hook up,” Raven replies and crosses her arms. “But tell me this: when was the last time you had sex with Kevin. And I mean real sex. Not the kind where you fake an orgasm.”
I cringe at Raven’s bluntness. Unlike me, she’s grown more confident with age, no thanks to her parents.
Growing up in a small town, we all knew a little too much about people’s lives.
Kids in high school would point and whisper about her father’s gambling issues and her mother’s excessive drinking.
When it got around that her older sister had a different father she’d never met, the gossips crowed with glee.
Instead of cowering, Raven punked out, leading to bad crowds, drugs, and extensive ink.
The ink and an attitude are ever-present.
“Enough, Rave. We all know you cried when Max Sloan called you trailer trash. Stop nagging Lily.”
“Nagging? Shay, how many times did I tell you to dump Richard? How many times did I tell you he was sucking the woman I love dry?” When I don’t answer, she turns to Lily.
“Sorry it was harsh, but I love you ladies too much to stay quiet, and I don’t think you’re still in love with Kevin.
But I digress. Tonight, us ladies have a golden opportunity.
” She quirks up an eyebrow. “I believe there’s a party in need of crashing. ”
Lily’s eyes flick to the peep show, then back to Raven. “God, no.”
“Oh, yes.”
“You’re nuts. What if they’re mass murderers?”
“They stopped to make sure you were okay today,” Raven says.
“And the smaller one trudged halfway up the hill to get you your pole. They were nice guys, and our girl here needs a pick-me-up. You sold this trip to Shay by telling her it was the best way to start fresh and get over the Dick. Love that name, by the way,” she says to me, then focuses on Lily.
“The hotness in there is her ticket. Do you want to deny her that?”
“But there’s only two guys,” I say before Lily can reply. “And what if they have girlfriends?”
“The worst they can do is send us packing, and Lily already said she’s standing by her man, so…”
“There’s a third!” Lily points and jumps before reining herself in. “Not that it means anything. Just, I could have someone to hang out with. Platonically. And talk to, you know, while you two do your thing. I’m not, like, interested.”
I scan the interior but don’t see this mysterious third. “Where is he?”
Lily cranes her neck. “He walked into the room, then turned back toward the hallway.”
“Was he cute?” I ask.
“Very. Kind of like the smaller guy but with longer hair pulled back, and he looks like he spends more time at the gym. But not as massive as the big guy.”
The three of us fidget for another minute, dancing on the spot to keep warm. A slow smile lights each of our faces as we silently agree to be wild and crazy for the night. I squeal and grab their hands, thrilled I don’t have to go to sleep and dread tomorrow.
Tonight, proper, poised, and perfect are out the window.
Tonight, I embody the red bra.
When we get to the door, Raven reaches up to knock but pauses. “You ladies sure?” We nod, but she lowers her hand. “Shay, since this trip is in your honor, you should do the deed.”
She walks behind me, grabs my hips, and positions me in front of the door—the entryway housing three hot guys, one of whom might get to see my new lingerie.
As I lift my arm, Raven says, “Wait.”
Lily and I flip around with a simultaneous “What?”
“I call dibs on the big guy.”
I snort. “Shocker. Anything else?”
Raven shakes her head, but as I spin around to knock, Lily says, “We need a signal.”
With a huff, I turn my back to the door again. “Like what? If Raven and I are about to hook up, we flash an image of a condom instead of the bat-signal?”
Lily rolls her eyes. “No. If one of us wants out or, I don’t know, feels uncomfortable, we should have a sign that we want to leave.”
“Okay, sure.” Raven smirks. “If a guy puts the moves on you, or doesn’t put the moves on me or Shay, and we get bored, we make the sound of a dying giraffe.”
We stare at each other, lips pulled tight to keep from laughing, until we lose it. Raven cackles, Lily shrieks, and I bend forward in a fit of giggles as we remember the South Park movie Raven forced us to watch during high school. Five times.
“No, seriously,” I say, my cheeks warm from laughing. “Lily’s right. We don’t know those guys. If anyone feels weird, then just say something like ‘I forgot my credit card at the restaurant.’”
“Done,” Raven says. “Let’s do this.”
We share wicked grins as I flip around, my pulse ticking in my ears. I fist my hand and prepare to live in the moment. Thump thump thump goes my heart, each heavy beat deafening.
“Go on. Do it,” Lily says from behind me, her impulsiveness catchy.
Either Raven’s pushing hit home, or she’s doing this for me. Whatever the reason, I rap my knuckles on the door and wait, every muscle tensed.
Singing drifts from a group of women as they traipse through the snow behind us, but the doorknob doesn’t twist. Determined, I knock again. As I’m about to pound my fist a third time, the door swings wide. And I nearly swallow my tongue.
“The Bitch,” says the guy from the doorway.
I curl my lip. “The Asshole.”