Bailey
. . .
The reception is already in motion, string lights glow overhead, casting everything in warm gold.
Rachel finds me hovering at the edge of the party, a practiced smile plastered on my face, she steps into my space like she’s done a hundred times before, calm and grounded, her voice low enough that no one else can hear.
She doesn’t ask if I’m okay, she already knows I'm not.
“Give me your phone,” she says gently.
"Wha..." I clear my throat and look around the barn. "What are you doing here?"
Rachel gives me a sad smile and sighs. "I was in Summit City, just in case you needed me."
The implication of what she just said hits me hard, I am already at my emotional capacity... but she knew. Rachel was supposed to be on a break of her own, but she knew this would happen. She has seen enough, heard enough to know... even when I was fighting and holding on to hope. She knew.
I close my eyes and will the tears back.
I will not cry anymore. I will not ruin Sadies' day.
“Give me your phone,” she repeats gently.
I open my eyes and realize how tightly I have been clutching it.
I don't know what I was waiting for. He proved to me over and over exactly what he thought of me and our marriage. I hesitate for half a second, my fingers flexing around it, like it’s the only thing tethering me to the moment that just shattered my life. Then I let it go.
She takes it without ceremony, sliding it into her clutch like this is just another logistical detail to manage. Like my marriage didn’t just end in an orchard an hour ago.
“You don’t need this tonight,” she adds. “Nothing happens until tomorrow.”
“What happens tomorrow?” I ask.
She studies my face carefully before answering. “Tomorrow, I'll make it as clean as I can. Tonight, you stay right here, you enjoy your time with your sister and your family.”
I nod, because that’s all I can manage.
Glasses clink, as laughter rises and falls in waves.
Rachel drifts off and I spot Rose making her way over to me.
I don’t have it in me to answer one more time where Luke is.
So, I turn, pretending I don’t see her and walk right into…
My eyes track up and I see a cheeky grin.
Adam looks over my shoulder and quietly asks, “Is this a ‘avoid at all costs’ situation?”
Despite everything going on, I laugh, I can’t help it. He casually grabs my elbow and leads me to the bar, grabbing two glasses of cider off the bar and leading us to the outdoor seating area.
I don’t know him, but Cole trusts him and that is enough for me.
Adam hands me one of the glasses and I take a small sip.
I don’t drink all that often, a mix of growing up with parents who drank too much and my life never truly feeling like it’s just mine, but Thomas’s cider is what started this crazy dream, in old mason jars around a campfire.
I sigh and take a deep breath.
“Better?” Adam asks from beside me.
I look at him, raising a brow in question.
He chuckles and says, “You looked like you were about to pull a runner.”
I open my mouth to disagree and come up with a believable rebuttal, but I am so tired and I feel like maybe I don’t have to fake it right now. So instead I close my mouth, scrunch up my nose, shrug and take another sip of cider.
We sit in companionable silence for a few minutes, the music drifting out to us from the live band, people laughing. The space we built is exactly as it should be, filled with love and laughter.
“You built a beautiful thing here.” he says, seeming to be seeing the same thing I am.
I offer a soft smile in return, unsure about how to talk about this place, while feeling so raw. So instead I reply, “I hear you are building something incredible, too.”
Adam takes a sip of his cider and smiles, saying, “I hope so. People like Thomas are exactly why I want to have a place where they can showcase what they do best.”
I watch as he lights up talking about his parents farm and a ranch owned by a family he’s known for a long time. How bringing them all together just made sense.
“Is that what you are best at?” I ask without thinking.
Adam gives me the same raised questioning eyebrow that I gave him not long ago.
“Showcasing what others love, bringing together incredible people. Giving them a boost…”
I trail off and Adam studies me for a moment, then says, “I never thought about it that way.”
“What about you, Bailey? What are you best at?”
I don’t know if anyone has ever asked me that. Everyone automatically assumes singing or song writing… I… I want to say love. That the best thing I do is love my family and… But I am suddenly unsure of how good my love is if he… “I don”t know…” I whisper it without meaning to.
Adam shifts beside me and he asks, “Would you like to dance… maybe take your mind off of whatever it is that has you looking so heartbroken?"
I look up at him, worried that maybe I haven’t been hiding my pain as well as I thought. Adam gives me a sad smile, saying, “Don’t worry, she hasn’t noticed.”
I let out a long breath and he chuckles asking, “Well?” holding his hand out to me.
Immediately I think I should say no, pictures and videos are being taken and it would just take one wrong angle of me in another man's arms for… but then I think about Luke and Kacey. So I set my glass down, stand smiling up at the kind man before me. He moves us to the dance floor and swirls me around dramatically, making me laugh which makes Sadie smile. I don’t know if he is intentionally being over the top or if this is just him, but it is working.
We dance and eventually someone cuts in and I let myself get lost in the music.
A chant starts for Sadie and Cole, and they spin into the centre of the dance floor, breathless and smiling. This is their night. So I anchor myself to her happiness like it’s a lifeline.
As the night progresses, I move through the crowd slowly.
I hug neighbours, thank people for coming, compliment dresses and accept congratulations that aren’t meant for me.
Cole keeps a close eye on me and I hate that he has to...
It's his day too. Noah pulls me away from an older couple who keep asking where Luke is and when we are going to have beautiful babies.
The band finishes a set and takes a break.
People are flushed and laughing, with drinks raised.
Thomas has been busy getting everyone to taste his cider.
“Bailey! Sing something!” I hear from the crowd.
A few others echo it, playful and hopeful. “Come on!”
I freeze for a moment. This is the part of me the world always wants. The voice. The songs. The performance. I glance at Sadie, mid-laugh with Cole, her happiness so full you can feel it.
And I decide.
“Okay,” I say, surprising myself.
Noah grabs his guitar without being asked, the one he’s had since he was a teenager. Cole joins him easily. I step onto the small stage, the hum of conversation fading as people realize what’s happening. I wrap my hands around the mic stand to stop them from shaking.
One of the band members hands me his guitar, I take it with a smile and put the strap over my shoulder, it settles against my body like an anchor in the storm.
"Think you boys can keep up with me?" I ask, shooting a wink at Noah.
The crowd bursts out laughing, and I look out to see Sadie sandwiched in a hug between Rose and Thomas.
We play a few favourites and the dance floor is packed. Eventually, I look over my shoulder at Cole and whisper, "Go grab Sadie."
“This one’s old,” I say into the mic. “I wrote it a long time ago. It's never been released, but it means a lot to me.”
The first chord rings out, and Noah stays on stage, but doesn't join in. He knows what this song is and what it means that I am singing it tonight. The song is a love song. One I wrote for Luke years ago, back when forever felt simple. Back when promises didn’t feel conditional.
When love wasn’t something I had to beg for.
I pour everything into it, every hope, every promise, every dream I ever believed in. But it isn’t about him anymore. It’s about the life I built. About Sadie and Cole, the family they are already growing. The people standing in front of me, who actually showed up.
This is about the future that I refuse to let die just because one man couldn’t show up for it.
Sadie sways with Cole on the dance floor, his hand firm at her back, her head tipped up toward him and she is radiating such an unguarded love.
That’s my why.
I feel a tear slip past, just one. But I keep singing.
When the song ends, there’s silence first, the good kind, the kind that means people felt it.
Then applause breaks over me. I step down from the stage, heart pounding, and let myself be pulled into hugs, laughter and warmth. I don’t think about tomorrow. For tonight, I focus on my family.