Chapter Thirty-Four
There was nothing more beautiful than Maple Falls in the fall. I knew that with certainty, as I walked side by side with Silas through Main Street. We had met up outside my house, deciding to walk together into the Firewood Forest. Sofia, Raven and Rani were going to follow us a little later.
I was determined for tonight to be perfect; I had the soulmate spell memorized, I was wearing a dress that made me feel beautiful and, most of all, I was going to give Silas a chance.
I was going to take a chance on Silas. The same way my mother had with my father.
He was a risk, but also the safe choice. He had to be.
‘Wow,’ Silas murmured, eyes tracking over the entirety of Main Street. ‘The town really went all out.’
Main Street had been transformed. There were stands lining the main road; some were food stalls and others game stalls.
A Ferris wheel had been added to the town centre, near the clock tower.
And the Firewood Forest that surrounded us was a crisp amber colour, its trees swaying with the wind, leaves eager and desperate to turn from orange to gold under the moon.
Different pathways into the forest were lit with gold lamps, and as town-goers went through Main Street, picking which stalls they’d visit later, they chose their own paths to the forest.
‘Look at the desserts on the Treasure Trove stall,’ Silas continued, pointing out the stall that made my heart skip a beat.
Melodie was standing there, putting final touches on the desserts. Our eyes met, and she gave me a small smile. I was hoping that everything would go perfectly today. No mistakes, no mishaps.
‘Any of them caught your eye?’ Silas prompted, and I realized I hadn’t said anything yet.
I turned to look at him. He looked incredibly handsome today, like every other day; the gold in his hair stood out, and the blue of his eyes matched a summer sky. He was dressed in his letterman jacket that made me him look like the ultimate star athlete – which he was.
‘I mean, I wouldn’t hate a teddy from the ring toss,’ I said, pointing to the stall that was manned by Hank, the merman. ‘But I’m not sure you have the skills –’
‘Ohh,’ Silas crowed, moving in front of me and walking backwards down the path to the forest. ‘Those are fighting words, Maya Reverie. I am detecting a challenge.’
Playful, fun, easy; that’s what talking with Silas was. It was easy to get lost in our conversation, the quick teasing. Plus, I had to guide him through the forest when he was adamant he could get to the clearing while still walking backwards.
After colliding with two branches that lodged themselves in his hair, we did eventually make it to the clearing – along with everyone else in town.
It was too crowded, and I realized there was no way I could do the spell here.
Even with all my new confidence and practice, there was no way I was going to do a public declaration of love in front of the whole town.
Not without another case of spiked faerie punch.
Silas must have noticed something in my expression, because he nudged my elbow with his and leaned down. ‘Want to go somewhere quieter?’
‘Still in the forest?’ I asked, not wanting to move to a place too far away from where the moon would shine brightest.
‘Still in the forest,’ Silas said, and I nodded.
I followed him through the crowd, clutching on to the back of his jacket as we moved around people.
Everyone was watching us, including Granny Fable, who gave me an exaggerated wink that turned my cheeks bright pink.
Eventually, the crowd thinned as Silas led us deeper into the woods, through winding paths, until we found a small patch between the trees.
It was not quite a clearing, but a spot where the trees separated and the moon would shine directly upon us. We were entirely alone; the rest of the town lost in the distance. Now that they weren’t here, I suddenly felt a sense of pressure closing in around me.
‘I like to come here at every full moon,’ Silas said, breaking into my thoughts. ‘The moonlight is the brightest, and it’s super quiet.’
‘It’s perfect,’ I said, because it was and because I had to say something.
Silas ducked his head, forcing my eyes to meet his. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever taken someone here who wasn’t from the pack.’
The enormity of what he was saying hit me – I meant something to him.
I was someone he considered special enough to bring to his spot.
I could see that he was waiting for me to say something back; maybe to be awed or delighted or enamoured or grateful.
Something that indicated that I was happy to be here, in front of him.
But the longer I stared at Silas, the more panicked I became.
This was Silas Moon standing before me, heart in his hands, at his favourite spot in town.
And all I could think of was my sister and her questions: Who do you feel happiest with?
Who could you see yourself with in the long term?
Who makes you feel seen, like they truly know you?
And the problem was, I could see myself with Silas.
I could see myself falling in love with him, properly in love with him – not the puppy love of a crush.
I could see us being happy together, a life full of playful banter and warm blushes.
Silas would be good, and he would be kind.
I liked who I was with Silas – more confident, more relaxed.
But there were parts of myself that I hid from him; parts of myself that I had been too afraid to share.
I wanted to be the perfect version of myself for him – willing to eat sweets I didn’t like, watch games I didn’t really care about, tamp down my emotions so he wouldn’t think I was too much.
Being with Silas felt like I had actually cast the eye-of-the-beholder spell on myself, where only the best parts of me were on display.
But he hadn’t seen the entire spectrum of me. Only one person had.
He wasn’t the person who seemed to know every way to irritate me, nor the person that challenged and aggravated me. He wasn’t the person who always knew how and when to uplift me and make me feel brave enough to dream about things that I always told myself I wouldn’t.
He wasn’t the person who made me trust myself; who trusted in me, even when I didn’t.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I said, my voice cracking at a whisper. ‘Silas, I’m so sorry.’
I watched as confusion coloured his eyes, and he took a step towards me. I couldn’t look at him; I tore my gaze away and looked at my shoes.
‘Maya?’
‘I thought –’ I inhaled sharply, all the emotions I’d been keeping at bay sweeping over me. I barely noticed how the moon was emerging from the clouds, how the forest seemed to shift. ‘I have always liked you, Silas.’
‘OK,’ Silas said, even more perplexed. ‘I kind of knew you had a little crush on me, and I think I’ve made it obvious that I really like you too.’
‘I know,’ I said, and I finally got the courage to look at him again. ‘The only problem is, Silas, I don’t think you’re my soulmate.’
His eyebrows lifted, surprise tracing over the contours of his face. ‘I didn’t realize we were talking about being soulmates. Couldn’t we start with something smaller?’
I felt my chest crack in two at the earnestness in his voice, even as he didn’t understand what I was saying.
‘Maybe, if we were in another lifetime, in a different town,’ I said, my throat aching with the urge to cry. ‘But starting anything with you wouldn’t be fair. Not to you. Not to me. Not when I think I know who my soulmate actually is.’
‘Oh,’ Silas said, and I watched as he tucked his heart back into his ribcage.
‘And the thing is, finding my soulmate is important because I need to share true love’s kiss with them tonight,’ I declared, the truth finally coming between me and Silas. ‘Because that’s the only way the love curse on the town will break.’
I watched as Silas pieced together what I was saying, and the more realizations that hit him, the further away from me he stepped.
‘You cast the love spell?’ Silas asked, aghast.
‘Not on purpose,’ I hurried to say, taking a step towards him and flinching when he stepped away.
‘Sorry – I just – I was casting a soulmate spell because I thought you were my soulmate, and I thought, if that was true, I could finally get over all the embarrassing moments I seemed to have when I was around you.’
‘The anti-fungal cream was something,’ Silas murmured, still looking dazed.
I winced, mortification coating my cheeks red. ‘Right. That. But then, the spell went wrong and became a curse. Six people ate my enchanted soulmate cookies, and I’ve been spending the last month working on my spellcasting so I could cast the soulmate spell tonight and fix this whole mess.’
‘With your soulmate, who you think isn’t me,’ Silas said, slowly. ‘If it’s not me, then who is it?’
I couldn’t say his name out loud, but Silas could read it in my eyes, in my face. Understanding dawned upon him, and there was a new sharpness in his eyes.
‘Hawthorne,’ Silas said, and there was such hollowness in his voice that I wanted to run away the way I did in the Maple Mart just a few weeks ago.
But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. This version of myself would face Silas, because it was the least he deserved.
‘So, all that time you said he meant nothing to you, it was a lie?’
I shook my head, all the confusion of the last month spilling out of me.
‘No, no, not entirely. I was sure that I didn’t have feelings for Orion any more, but then – he was the one helping me break the curse and things just changed between us.
It truly wasn’t until a few days ago that I realized just how much I still felt for him. ’
‘Kind of wish you’d had that realization before you made me fall for you,’ Silas remarked, and there was a sharpness in his voice that I would remember for eternity.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I whispered once more.
I watched as Silas breathed in deep and then exhaled.
He pushed a smile on to his mouth, no dimples.
It was a kindness that I didn’t deserve.
But he was Silas Moon – kind, good, uncomplicated, Silas Moon.
Watching him slip back into his armour made me realize that maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did, because I didn’t even know he had armour to wear.
But I did know, with an alarming amount of clarity, that he was not my soulmate.
‘You should go find him,’ Silas said, finally, his hands going into his pockets, his head tilting up to the moon. ‘You haven’t got long left of this full moon, and if you really intend on breaking this curse, then you need to get to that dragon shifter, fast.’