Chapter Fifteen
E merie’s legs felt unsteady, her pulse racing as she made her way toward the door.
She drew in a deep breath, trying to ignore the fluttering in her belly and the pulse between her thighs. The moment felt surreal. Like she’d just stepped out of one of her vivid fantasies about her best friend. But this wasn’t her imagination.
Moments ago, Nick’s tongue had been halfway down her throat, and she’d been shamelessly riding his knee like a cowgirl on the rodeo circuit.
Em’s cheeks and forehead flamed with embarrassment. She tried her best to pull it together, hoping her friend wouldn’t notice.
Emerie drew in a deep breath, plastered on a broad smile, and opened the door.
“Hey, Kass.” Em stepped aside so Kassie could enter. “Sorry it took so long. I… we were in the kitchen.”
Em stopped short of claiming not to have heard her friend knocking. The volume on the television was still muted.
Kassandra stared at Em for a moment with one eyebrow cocked. She shifted her gaze to Nick who was lingering in the kitchen. “Sorry if I’m interrupting.”
“You’re not interrupting,” Em said.
She should be grateful. If Kassie hadn’t returned when she did, she and Nick might’ve ended up in her bed. And if their kitchen make-out session had made things awkward, she could only imagine how unbearable it would be if things had gone further.
Despite what Nick called it, their kiss hadn’t felt like practice. Every moment, every touch, had felt incredibly real.
Her hands were still shaking, her belly was still fluttering, and her head was still spinning.
“Here’s your wallet.” Em retrieved it from the coffee table and handed it to Kassie. “How was your chat with Prince Charming?”
The suspicious look on Kassie’s face was quickly replaced by a bashful grin and flushed cheeks.
“It was great, actually. That’s another reason I came back. I wanted to tell you what he sent me.”
“I can’t wait to hear it. Another mojito?”
“Please.” Kassie beamed.
Em was happy for her friend. Kassandra was hardworking and focused, sweet and considerate. She cared deeply about the Holly Grove Island Arboretum and Aquarium, where she was the director of programming, and about the preservation of the flora and fauna on the island. Kassie was dedicated to the staff, interns, visitors, and the community. And she often found time to help her mom, who owned a florist shop on the island. If anyone deserved love and happiness, it was Kass.
She’d inspired her friend to be open to finding love, and Em was glad of that. Yet, despite the big makeover, the rebranding of her business, and venturing into online dating, she had yet to find a serious prospect for herself. Em drew in a deep breath and fought back the hint of envy that had crept in.
She walked into the kitchen where Nick hovered on the other side of the island, like a spider on a wall trying not to be noticed.
“Can I make you a mojito, too, Nick?” Em cast a glance in Nick’s direction without meeting his gaze.
“No, thanks. In fact, I should head out. There are a few things I need to do.” Nick tapped the counter lightly. “I’ll see you both later.”
“But there are still five minutes left in the fourth quarter,” Kassie noted suspiciously. “You never leave a close game with minutes left.”
Em’s shoulders tensed, and she bobbled the glass she was grabbing from the overhead cabinet, nearly dropping it on the counter.
“Are you okay, Em?” Nick asked.
“I’m fine. Thank you.” Em’s tone was sharper than she’d intended. Without glancing back at Nick, she set the glass on the counter and opened the fridge.
“It’s a home game. I’m confident they’ll close this one out,” Nick said. Something they both knew wasn’t true. Their team had blown more fourth quarter leads than most of the teams in the league. And both teams were desperately trying to climb in the standings for the NBA Eastern Conference. But given the situation, it was better not to mention that.
“Have a safe drive home,” Em called, her head practically buried in the fridge. She was thankful that the chilled air cooled her burning cheeks.
Em set the limes and sprigs of mint on the counter. Then she grabbed the bottle of rum and gathered everything else she’d need.
“Text me to let me know you got home.” Em forced herself to glance in Nick’s direction once she heard him open the door.
“I will. But you should lock up behind me.”
Nick wanted to say something to her. Maybe to apologize again. But Emerie wasn’t in the mood for another apology. When she didn’t respond, Kassie sprang into action, saving them all from the uncomfortable silence.
Em was relieved that Kassie had spared her another awkward conversation with Nick tonight. Yet she was curious about what he’d wanted to say.
“Don’t party too hard, you two,” Nick said.
“We won’t,” Kassie said before bidding Nick a good night and returning to the kitchen. She climbed onto a stool at the breakfast bar and propped her chin on her fist. “So exactly how long have you two been making out like a couple of horny teenagers?” Her lips were pursed, and her dark eyes twinkled with amusement.
“I… what makes you think… I mean…” Em faltered, searching her brain for a way to sidestep the question without lying to her friend. Her head was still spinning, and she was still trying to process exactly what had happened between her and Nick.
“The first clue was you flashing me with those headlights when you answered the door.” Kassie indicated Em’s chest.
Emerie glanced down at her nipples still visible through the thin fabric of her shirt. She should’ve taken Sin’s advice and invested in a T-shirt bra. Em folded her arms over her chest.
“But the dead giveaway was the smears of your tinted gloss Nick still had around his mouth.” Kassie grinned proudly. “So… how long? After Dillon, I assume.”
“Of course.” Em tried not to sound so defensive about her friend’s question. “Today was the first time Nick and I have ever kissed. I swear.” She sighed heavily, replaying the night’s events in her head. “I honestly still can’t believe it happened.”
“Does that mean you two are official now?” Kassie clapped her hands together excitedly.
Em drew in a shaky breath and blinked back unexpected tears. She responded with a subtle shake of her head.
“I don’t understand.” Kassie’s countenance fell. “You two kissed, and clearly you were both feeling it. Nick was definitely shook just now.”
“I know.” Em rubbed her forehead, her voice faint and her chest aching with the reality that she’d kissed her best friend and yet, nothing between them had changed. At least, not for him.
“Oh, hon.” Kassie scrambled off her stool and wrapped Emerie up in a bear hug. When Em tried to pull out of the hug, Kassie held on tight. And it was exactly what she needed.
Emerie squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep the tears from falling. But the more she fought to hold them in, the faster fat tears rolled down her cheek, wetting her friend’s sweatshirt.
“Sit down, sweetie.” Kassie guided Em to a stool. “I’ll make the drinks. You just relax. We can talk about it if you want to; if not, I’ll understand that, too. All right?”
Em nodded, sniffling. She tore off a paper towel and dabbed her face as her friend washed her hands at the sink and started to make their drinks.
“How was your call with Harrison?” Em asked. Kass had come downstairs excited to share her news. She hated that the attention had been shifted from Kassie to her and Nick’s drama.
“It was good. Great, actually.” A dreamy look softened Kassandra’s expression, and Em smiled, too, happy for her friend.
At least one of them was moving in the right direction.
“Harrison had the most beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered to my apartment.” Kassie pulled out her phone and showed Em the gorgeous bouquet of twenty white roses and five white lilies. “He also sent a certificate for the spa at the resort. And he included enough so that it’ll cover my spa treatments and yours. He said he knew I’d enjoy it much more with a friend.”
“The man certainly has good taste.” Emerie returned the phone to her blushing friend. “And he’s thoughtful and generous.”
She had yet to meet Harrison. But maybe the gossip about him and his family being snotty, self-centered assholes who thought they were better than the rest of them was wrong. Or perhaps Harrison wasn’t like the rest of them. For Kass’s sake, she hoped so. Because she was really into the guy.
“He said since he couldn’t be here with me on Valentine’s Day, he was thankful I had a friend to keep me company.” She used the stainless-steel cocktail spoon to crush and stir the mint leaves and sugar in the bottom of two collins glasses.
“Well, please thank him for me.” Em smiled. “Are you nervous about your first official date when he gets back?”
“A little,” Kassie admitted. She quartered two limes, dropping all but two of the pieces into their glasses. She used a muddler to express the lime juice. “But I’m also really excited. I love my job, and the work I do is important, but my career shouldn’t be the totality of my existence. Your willingness to face your fears and be open about wanting love… I found it inspiring. And it forced me to be honest with myself about what I want.”
“You’re looking to settle down and become Mrs. Harrison Dunbar, III?” Em asked cautiously. The question wasn’t meant to demean or tease. She just hadn’t ever heard Kassie express any desire for marriage and kids.
“I don’t know.” Kassie hunched a shoulder as she added rum and ice to the stainless-steel cocktail shaker. “I’m not going into this with that kind of expectation. Besides, I’m sure his parents would rather see him with some blue-blooded heiress so they can consolidate their families’ wealth.”
“Well, your mom does own her own florist shop.” Em grinned. “And bonus points to Harrison for ordering the flowers from her. Smart man.”
“He is. And a sweet one, too.” Kassie added two craft ice spheres to each glass, then divided the icy rum from the cocktail shaker between them. She topped off the mojitos with club soda, a slice of lime, and sprigs of mint.
Emerie took a sip of the refreshingly minty drink. It wasn’t summer, but she didn’t care. It was never the wrong season for a mojito.
“This is really good, Kass. Well done.” Em fist-bumped her friend, then took another sip of her drink.
“Thank you,” Kassie said proudly. She took another sip of her own drink, then turned her stool toward Emerie’s. “Now… about what happened tonight between you and Nick…”
Em should’ve known they’d revisit the conversation. At least she had liquor now.
She heaved a sigh and recounted what had happened after Kassie left.
“You asked your best friend, who you’re trying to get over being in love with, to kiss you so you’d be more comfortable kissing someone else?” Kassie’s tone conveyed bewilderment and a hint of reverence. “Wow. That’s a lot to take in. I’m trying to decide if you’re diabolically brilliant or have completely lost your mind. But I’m leaning toward the latter. Em, what were you thinking?”
“I was joking,” Em said. “I didn’t think Nick would actually kiss me. But once he pulled me into his arms… I knew it was a terrible idea, but…” She pressed a hand to her forehead and groaned.
How could she have made such a mess of things?
“You couldn’t resist the chance to finally kiss him.” Kassie placed a hand over Em’s. “And maybe a part of you hoped it would make Nick see how right you two are for each other?”
Em nodded, frowning. How could she have been so foolish?
“So how was the kiss?”
“Amazing.” Was she sporting the same dreamy look Kassie had when she’d talked about Harrison? “In college, I dated a guy who I considered to be a great kisser. But I’ve honestly never had a kiss that felt like that . It was this total-body experience. My skin is all feverish and tingly, and I can’t stop reliving every moment of it.”
“Sounds like a lot more than practice ,” Kassie said.
“It was for me.” Em rearranged the sprigs of mint in her drink. “But Nick clearly doesn’t feel that way.”
“Not true.” Kassie’s cheeks flushed. “Because the other thing I noticed as Nick made his escape was the hard-on he definitely didn’t have before I left.”
“Oh my God.” Em cupped a hand to her mouth, and they both dissolved into giggles. “We really were acting like a couple of hormonal teenagers, weren’t we?”
“I think you were behaving like two people who have a serious thing for each other, even if one of you is too boneheaded to realize it.” Kassie sipped her drink. “Why else would he volunteer to help you practice kissing?”
“I don’t know, Kass. But that kiss was a complete mindfuck. I have no idea what’s happening with us anymore,” Em said. “I tell Nick how I feel, and he says he doesn’t feel the same. Fine . But then I go on this soulmate quest, and suddenly, he’s been hovering over me like an overprotective lover. And then he kisses me like… that . But then he says, ‘You good now?’ Like we were practicing three-pointers out on the basketball court. As if he didn’t just kiss me with so much passion and intensity that it felt like my entire soul was sucked out of my body.” Em huffed, getting angry and confused all over again.
She drained the remainder of her mojito, setting her empty glass on the counter harder than she’d intended.
“Nick is bullshitting you and maybe himself, too. You know that, right?” Kassie said.
“Maybe.” Em shrugged. “I don’t know anymore. I’m not sure he does, either.”
“So… what are you going to do?”
“What am I supposed to do, Kass?” Em turned to her friend, then sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated and confused. I’ve been trying so hard to move my feelings for Nick back into the friend zone. But he’s doing everything he can to keep me pining over him like a lovesick puppy.”
“Another mojito?” Kassie climbed off her stool.
“Please.”
Kassie worked in silence, preparing the mint leaves and sugar, then cutting the limes and muddling them.
Emerie’s phone signaled an incoming text message, and she checked it.
Nick.
Made it home. Sorry I lost my head and got carried away tonight, but the kiss was perfect. If this is really what you want, you don’t need to worry. You’ll be fine. But if you don’t, no one will blame you for changing your mind. Good night.
Emerie felt a hint of nausea. How could the kiss have meant everything to her yet so little to him?
“See what I mean?” Em set her phone in front of Kassie after she sat down with their drinks. “Despite his physical reaction to the kiss, it didn’t mean anything to him.”
“I don’t believe that, and neither do you,” Kassie said.
“It doesn’t matter what I believe. It only matters what he does.” Em sipped her mojito. This one was stronger than the last.
“Maybe it isn’t my place to say this, but I love watching the two of you interact because you have such a special connection. The kind that only happens once or twice in a lifetime. So maybe it’s worth broaching the subject with Nick again, now that he’s had time to think about it.”
“Do you have any idea how humiliating it was for me to be completely vulnerable with Nick and lay my heart on the line only to get rejected?” Em felt a deep ache in the pit of her stomach, remembering that night on the beach. She shook her head. “I can’t put myself through that again. If Nick says I’m not the one for him, then I need to respect that and move on.”
“Right. Of course.” The space between Kassie’s brows furrowed. “Sorry if I overstepped. It’s just… I realize that Nick is your best friend. But you’re mine. I want you to be happy, Em. And you deserve to be.”
“Thanks, Kass. I appreciate that.” Em was grateful to have such good friends. “I want you to be honest with me. Even when I’m not ready to hear it. That’s what best friends are for, right?” She squeezed her friend’s arm.
“Good. Because here’s something else you need to hear.” Kassie took a deep breath and sat taller. “You began this journey because you said you were ready to find Mr. Right and settle down. But it seems you’ve gotten cold feet. Have you changed your mind?”
“Definitely not.”
“Then stop hanging out by the side of the pool and jump in with both feet, the way you jumped out of that plane on your thirtieth birthday.”
“Sometimes the dating pool seems really shallow, and I’m pretty sure there’s pee in it.” Em shuddered. “Seriously, some of these guys make Marcus look like the cream of the crop.”
“That is so gross, yet, sadly accurate.” Kassie sighed in commiseration. “Will you meet a lot of Mr. Wrongs? Probably . But eventually, you will find Mr. Right. But only if you put yourself out there and try.”
Kassie picked up Emerie’s phone and handed it to her.
“Open up your dating app.”
“Right now?”
“Yes, now . Just think of me as a mama bird. It’s my job to give you a gentle shove out of the nest. And if that don’t work, I’m fully prepared to go with the foot-in-the-ass method.” Kassie grinned and Em dissolved into laughter.
“Okay, fine.” Em unlocked her phone and opened the app. “Now I suppose you want me to swipe right.”
“Yes, I do. Because it’s the first step in your stated goal of finding a mature, emotionally available man who is actually interested in a serious relationship.”
Touché.
“But first… we need to edit your profile.” Kassandra maneuvered through the app, then started typing something. “There!” she declared proudly, showing Emerie the screen. “Now it’s perfect.”
Em scanned the profile to determine what had been changed. Finally, she spotted it under the “What I’m Looking For in a Partner” section.
“‘He needs to be an exceptional kisser’?” Em read the words aloud. “I cannot believe you just added that.” She hit the edit button to remove it.
“Before you do that…” Kassie held up a hand. “Wasn’t the point of your practice kiss with Nick to make you more comfortable with intimacy and discover what you like?”
“Yes, but—”
“Well, you just discovered that you want someone whose kiss will turn you inside out and make you feel like you’re floating. Right?”
Nick’s kiss had made her feel all those things and more.
“Right.”
“Then don’t be afraid to ask for what you deserve. That’s what you told me about my job, and you were right. If I hadn’t asked for that promotion, I would never have received the title or the additional pay. So now I’m returning the favor. Isn’t the Soulmate Project about you stating exactly what you want and then going after it fearlessly?”
“Yes.”
Em realized that she’d given in to the gratification of spending so much time with Nick. Their dance classes had begun to feel like dates. But they weren’t. Nick still wasn’t hers, and he never would be. She needed to stop fooling herself into believing otherwise.
“Then ask for what you want. Bad kissers need not apply.” Kassie grinned. “Now, are you ready to really begin this search for Mr. Right?”
Kassie had been half right about why Em hadn’t swiped right on the dating app. Yes, she’d gotten a case of cold feet. But that was because a part of her had been holding out hope that Nick would change his mind. Especially after he’d agreed to take bachata lessons with her. But if the kiss they’d shared tonight hadn’t changed his mind, nothing ever would. She needed to let go of her childish dream and move on.
“Okay. Let’s do this.”
Kassie squealed and gave her a big hug.
They’d been scrolling through potential dates for nearly an hour. Finally, Em settled on a profile that intrigued her.
She nibbled on her lower lip, her hand hovering over the screen. “Here goes,” she muttered as she swiped right.
Kassie cheered and hugged her again. “I’m so proud of you!”
Em was proud of herself, too. She also felt a sense of panic and dread. And not only about whether the guy would respond.
“What if Nick sees that line we added? That’d be really weird and awkward.”
“The man just gave you a tonsil massage. I’m pretty sure things are going to be weird and awkward for a bit either way,” Kassie noted. “Besides, Nick doesn’t strike me as the dating app type.”
“He isn’t. Mostly because gorgeous women seem to just fall into his lap whenever we’re out,” Em grumbled.
“Perfect. Then he’s never going to see it or know that it was his kiss that inspired it,” Kassie reassured her.
Em sighed quietly with relief, hoping that was true.