Harlowe
thirty-one
Alight rain starts to fall just as we prepare to exit the restaurant hand-in-hand, my stomach knotting in anticipation.
“Stay here so you don’t get soaked. Only I should be doing that, not the fucking weather,” Zander says, voice low and sensual as he gives me a panty-melting grin before he ducks out the door quickly and runs to the valet stand.
Raindrops cling to his hair when he returns, and I brush a stray drop from his jaw.
He catches my hand and holds it there, staring at me so intently, his eyes shimmering with the heat of a summer storm so I can’t look away.
I think he’s going to kiss me right there, but just as he shifts his body and starts to lean down, his unusual car pulls up and his attention is drawn away.
He shakes his head, still not taking his eyes off me, but ushers me out of the restaurant and into the car.
He lives downtown, so the drive is short and quiet as we vibrate in anticipation of what the night holds for us.
The ride up the elevator of his high-rise building is full of longing glances and a tension that builds the closer we get to the top floor.
I’m trembling with the nearness of him, with the promise of what’s to come, and the possibilities of what this all means.
His fingers keep up a slow caress along the open back of my tank, but he stays silent until the elevator comes to a stop at a marble vestibule that opens to the door of his penthouse.
He leads me with a hand at the small of my back across the space and unlocks the door, letting me walk in ahead of him.
Zander’s home is insane, as expected. It’s modern, full of sharp edges, lots of glass and metal.
It's a child-proofing nightmare to my mama's eyes.
He doesn't let me fully inspect the palatial space before he’s in front of me, pulling me into his body, his hand on my throat in that sexy, commanding way of his, angling my chin up to his face.
“Do you want this as badly as I do, Lowe?” he growls, mouth close to mine.
“Yes,” I breathe, feeling the heat pool between my legs with the low urgency in his tone.
“Do you want me, as shitty as I was to you?” He lets my chin drop and smooths the hair away from my face gently, like he can smooth away the past hurts.
I blink and look down at his chest. “As much as I hated you for what you did, there was always a part of me that wanted you. That always will.” I look up at him.
“But it will be so hard to trust you.” I shake my head, feeling my hair slide over my bare shoulders, hissing against the silk of my top.
“I believed in what you told me before and it broke me when you took that away so easily, like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. But, fuck, I want to believe you now, so badly.”
“How do I show you this is real, when I’ve never done this before? It’s all new to me. I’m going in blind here. I don’t know the right things to say or do to make you trust me.”
“But you do want to do this, right?” I clarify.
“Yes, I want to do this. I would fucking walk through fire for you, Lowe. I want to do everything this means. Be a father to our son. Be the man you need. Share a forever with you. I want you to be mine so fucking badly, Lowe. Say the words, baby.”
I’ve waited five years to hear him say those words and mean them.
I close my eyes and rest my forehead against his shoulder, breathing in the scent of storms and sandalwood of his cologne.
He drops his hands to my lower back and holds me tightly as I process, as I think about how to place my trust in someone who can so effectively shatter it.
I don't think there’s any way to know but to try, to believe, and hope for the best. I pull my head back and look up at him again, patiently waiting for me when I remember him to be one to take what he wanted immediately.
“I’m yours, Zander.” And with those three simple words, his face becomes absolutely radiant, like lightning has cracked open the sky.
“You’re not seeing that fucking football player anymore,” he growls, hands roaming possessively low and gripping my ass tightly. “I won’t be sharing you, so make arrangements right the fuck now, if you need to.”
I laugh softly. “I’m not with Knox anymore. He and I decided we were better friends than anything. Turns out, I’m not really his type.”
Zander’s face darkens with rage. “You’re incredible.
What the fuck is wrong with him?” he asks, glowering.
“Has he taken too many hits to the head or something? Did he not see your out-of-this-world ass? These fucking amazing tits? These thighs I want wrapped around me immediately? You’re a goddess; there’s no comparison to your beauty.
I’m fucking rock hard just touching you. ”
I laugh harder at his defense of me. “Relax. When I say I’m not his type, I mean you’re more his type.
Knox is gay. He just came out to me, so you’re sworn to secrecy as the only other person who knows.
He said I could tell you, if I needed to, after he saw how you acted at the gala.
He was impressed with your defense of me, to say the least. You may have a six-foot-six admirer now. ”
I walk my fingers up his chest and smile, thinking of the way Knox looked when we talked about it on the way home from the gala last weekend. He is seriously on Team Zander with Mom and Alicia.
I feel Zander’s muscles ease against me. “In that case, I’m fucking you tonight.”
His hands slide behind my thighs and pick me up like I'm not forty pounds heavier than the last time he did this, wrapping my legs around his hips and holding my ass as he carries me through the penthouse to his bedroom.
He sets me down on a huge platform bed with a white duvet and just looks at me for a moment with those mercurial eyes of his.
“What?” I ask, feeling self-conscious. Maybe it’s my not-quite-toned arms, the bit of my belly with the stretch marks showing where my tank is riding up, or the squish of my thighs pressing together where I used to have a gap.
“You’re so beautiful. I’ve thought about your body so many times. I can’t wait to get you naked again.”
“Zander, my body has changed.” I wrap my arms around my middle, feeling self-conscious, despite years of therapy to get past my hang-ups and being a warrior for body positivity now. “I don’t look the same, and I don't want you to be disappointed.”
He kneels at my feet, staring up at me as he begins to unbuckle my four-inch heels one at a time, rubbing the instep of each foot, before lifting my leg and placing a kiss on my ankle.
“There is not a single way your body could disappoint me. I know your body has changed and every change I’ve seen has made me that much crazier about you.
Your fucking thirst traps on Instagram have been my undoing.
Fuck, I've been going insane seeing those and not being able to get my hands on you.”
He stays on his knees in front of me as he runs his hands from my ankles to my knees and pushes them apart with a quick movement that leaves me breathless.
He moves his hands to my inner thighs and slowly caresses up to the apex of my hips, where he grabs me roughly, and I whimper, feeling my need begin to outpace my self-consciousness.
He rubs his thumbs softly along the seam of my pussy, still fully covered by my leggings and thong underneath, but pulsing with hot need for him already.
“I love this new softness to you. It’s made me insane to have had even a tiny touch of it here or there against me and not have my fill.”
He tucks his fingers into the waistband of my leggings and thong, pulling them down.
I lean back on my hands and lift my hips for him as he peels the tight material down my legs with a slow reverence that leaves me speechless.
He kisses his way back up my legs until he reaches the edge of my tank, his hands slowly raising the silky material along my skin in a sensual caress of its own as I raise my arms and he pulls it off, leaving me completely bare before him.
He stands and unbuttons his shirt, tossing it on the floor behind him, and I get to drink him in as he toes off his shoes, works on his belt and slacks, stripping down to his boxer briefs.
The last five years have been good to him, filling him out, giving him the good kind of bulk that lends power instead of paunch, and he’s still exquisite in every way.
He stands staring at me for so long that I give him a look before he can make me feel self-conscious again. “Now what?”
“I’ve thought about having you back in my bed for so long, it doesn't feel real seeing you here now. I’m just taking a second to sear it into my memory as the moment my fantasies became real again.”
My eyes prick with the pretty words, but I know the truth. I shoot him an accusing look. “Liar. You didn’t think twice about me after that trip. You made sure of it. No repeats was your motto. No attachments. Be real with me so I can trust you.”
He kneels before me again and takes my hands, lacing our fingers.
“On the outside, yes, but deep down, there was always a part of me that wanted this right here. I only do no attachments because it wouldn’t be fair to give anyone what’s left after what I devote to work.
My first priority has always been Olympus.
Going in early, staying late. Living and breathing deals is second nature.
What does that leave for a relationship?
Fuck, I’m scared of what that’s going to do to you.
You deserve better, and I knew it then. I know it now, but I still want this more than anything.
So I’m making changes, starting today, but it’s going to be an adjustment.
Be patient with me as I fight my way through it to give you what you deserve. ”