Chapter 20 #3
She nods and tears fill her eyes, falling again.
Leaning in, I kiss her. Slow. Soft.
Like a promise I might be able to keep this time.
She kisses me back.
We end up on the floor. She peels my shirt off and I grab the hem of the one she’s wearing.
Her arms lift and I remove it. She’s naked underneath.
Our lips meet again, searching, seeking, before trailing lower.
Her neck arches as I drag my tongue down it.
I lightly bite the curve of her shoulder, and she moans, arching into me.
I kiss, suck, and lick every inch of her while her fingers delve into my hair, over my shoulders, and down my back. When she touches my scars, I shudder.
Our lovemaking is more than it’s ever been. It’s not just skin and need. It’s an ache only the other can soothe .
Fisting my hair, she pulls me up her body. Her lips close over mine like she’s trying to memorize me.
My hands slide over her breasts and down her sides like I’m afraid she’ll disappear.
She breaks the kiss and whispers, “I want you, Gruene. All of you.” Her voice is barely audible, but it hits me like a blow to the chest.
And something inside me ignites… not in a dangerous way, in the kind of way that says she’s real and I’m real and this moment matters more than air .
"You have me," I rasp, sliding my hand up the back of her neck. "God, Blakelyn, you have me."
Her lips part on a shaky moan, and I kiss her like a man who’s forgotten every rule he ever made.
She’s rewriting them all.
Lifting her from the floor, I press her back into the couch cushions. Her legs drape over my hips. Her fingers dig into my shoulders as I lower my mouth to her throat, kissing down the line while her ankles lock over my ass. Her pulse flutters wild and hot beneath my lips.
She arches for me when I suck gently at her collarbone, the softest sound escaping her mouth—a sound I feel everywhere.
"You’re shaking," I murmur, cupping her face.
"Not from fear," she whispers. "From wanting you."
Fuck, Blakelyn.
Her breath hitches as I cup her breasts, thumbing over the peaks until she’s squirming beneath me.
“I’ve got you,” I murmur, mouth brushing hers. “You don’t have to hold anything back.”
“I’m not,” she breathes. “Not with you.”
Her hands are on the snap of my jeans now, yanking it. The denim parts as her wide and hungry eyes drink in the scars on my chest. She touches them softly, reverently, and for the first time in six fucking years, I don’t want to pull away.
Leaning up, she kisses one just below my ribs, then another along my waist.
“You’re beautiful,” she whispers.
I clench my jaw to keep from falling apart.
She shoves at my jeans, grabbing my boxers with them. They catch on my hips, and I quickly pull both off. We’re both completely naked… no barrier between us.
We meet in the middle—hands, mouths, hearts.
My fingers trace the dip of her hips as I kneel on the floor between her legs. Her thighs fall open, revealing her pink, glistening pussy. She’s so wet as she looks at me like she’s not afraid to be seen anymore.
“Tell me what you need,” I rasp wanting nothing more than to bury my head between her thighs.
“You,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. Her hand cups my cheek and I turn into her touch. “Just you, Gruene . Like this. All of you. No more hiding. I—I love you.”
I freeze.
She loves me. She just said she loves me.
I don’t say it back. I can’t. Even though I do. Lowering my head, I kiss my way up her inner thigh, letting her feel my breath against her, my reverence, my worship… my love . She’s already soaked… already trembling… already lifting her hips toward my mouth.
I taste her slowly, deliberately, my tongue tracing over her until she gasps and fists the throw pillow beside her. Her thighs part wider and she rides my face as I pleasure her. “Gruene—oh my God?—"
Her legs shake as I suck her clit, gentle but deep, feeling her fall apart in layers.
And when her back arches, her thighs clench around my ears, and she cries out my name, “Gruene… Ohhhhhh…. Gruene…” I don’t let up until the aftershocks roll through her.
She slumps back against the couch and looks at me as her head lolls to the side, “Holy, shit… that was… Oh, my God, Gruene.”
Smiling at how satiated and spent she is, I crawl up her body. My mouth crashes into hers, tasting her moan on my tongue.
She reaches between us, lining me up and pushes past her slick folds, arching her back to take my cock deep as I push inside of her, slowly, intimately… us.
When I bottom out, it’s like everything locks into place.
Her legs wrap around my waist. Her hands thread through my hair. Her back arches, and we move together like the river—relentless, crashing, and alive.
I kiss her through every thrust. I hold her through every broken, gasping cry.
We don’t speak—but everything is said.
I’m here, Blakelyn.
You’re not alone.
I love you.
We lose time. We find each other over and over. And when she comes again, I feel it in her kiss, in the way her whole body clutches around mine, in the way she breathes my name like it’s the only thing she’s certain of.
I let go after her, burying myself deep and spilling into her with a groan that shakes me loose from everything I’ve buried.
And when it’s over… when we’re nothing but breath and heartbeats and tangled limbs on the couch and the floor, I hold her against my chest.
Her fingers trace a lazy circle on my ribs and she whispers, “You stayed… even after I told you I loved you.”
I swallow and nod, “I did. I told you I would, Blakelyn.”
Her smile is soft. Her eyes are glassy. She doesn’t push me for a declaration though she made certain that I heard hers.
And I know…
We’re not healed.
Neither of us are whole.
But we’re trying .
Together.