22. Sawyer
Sawyer
The reception was winding down, most of the guests already gone home or back to their hotel rooms. It was past midnight, and I should have left hours ago, but Owen asked me to stay while he helped collect everything from the venue to load up the car for Hailey’s new husband. Groomsman duties and all.
He promptly abandoned me, of course, because I can’t exactly hang around downstairs in the groom’s suite. Not only that, but I had no intention of moving boxes of wedding favors and cases of unopened champagne. Not in these shoes.
So there I was, freezing my ass off in a chiffon dress not suitable at all for the early fall weather, nursing a glass of champagne I didn’t really want and watching Knox across the room.
I wasn’t sorry for staring. He’d been watching me all night. I felt it again and again. The weight of his gaze, like he was assessing my every move and hoarding them to use against me later.
We hadn’t spoken directly in months. Not since the scandal broke. Not since my father was arrested and the Aldrich-Thorne partnership imploded, taking half of Ashford’s economy with it.
Knox made it clear whose side he was on and what he thought of me and my family.
“Fucking embezzlers. Your dad destroyed everything my family built.”
That was the last thing he said to me, six months before his sister’s wedding, at the engagement party.
I’d tried to apologize, and explain that I didn’t know what the hell my father was doing, that he should know I had nothing to do with it.
But he was so angry and needed an easy outlet. Someone like me.
“Bullshit. You knew. You all knew.”
So yeah. We didn’t talk anymore. It’s probably for the best. Like Mom said to me the other day, Knox has always had the most capability to hurt me, because I cared about him the most.
But I guess talking and watching are two entirely different things, since he had no problem doing the latter.
“Sunny!” Owen came around the corner, his tie loose, his face flushed from a night of dancing and more recently, carrying boxes. “There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”
“Just needed some air.” I gestured around the tent, where a few stragglers remain. “It’s getting late, though. I should probably head out.”
“No, don’t.” His hand found mine, and he played with the tips of my press-on nails. “Stay a little longer? Please? The after party’s moving to the hotel bar. Just the wedding party and close family.”
I hesitated. The wedding party included Knox. That didn’t sound like a good time. At least all day there’s been a hundred other people to buffer whatever this tension is between us…but an intimate gathering? I’d have to pass.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Come on.” He looked at me with puppy dog eyes. “I want you there. We barely got to hang out today.”
That was bound to happen when he was a groomsman, and I was only there because Hailey still looks at me as a little sister.
“Don’t give me that look,” I said.
“Please, Sawyer.” He brought my hand to his lips and pressed a kiss across my knuckles. “I feel like we’ve been drifting lately. I miss you.”
Guilt twisted in my gut. He was right, we had been drifting. Ever since the scandal, I’d been pulling away from everyone, including him. And he didn’t deserve that. Owen had been nothing but patient, nothing but kind, even when his own family was affected by what my father did.
“Okay,” I said finally. “I’ll come for a little bit.”
He beamed in response, planting a quick kiss on my cheek. “Yeah? Sweet! Just give me a few more minutes, then we can go.”
As he straightened up, I noticed Knox over his shoulder, still watching me from across the room, this time with a clenched jaw, and intense eyes.
The hotel bar was small, only about five leather booths with dim lighting and low music playing.
Most of the wedding party was there, Hailey and her new husband, a few groomsmen, some bridesmaids, and Knox, sitting across in the corner of the booth with a glass of whiskey, looking like he was being held there at gunpoint.
I tried to ignore him and focus on Owen, who was sitting right next to me, his arm draped over my shoulders, telling some story about the bachelor party. It was impossible, though. Knox’s eyes were on me and I felt them like a physical sensation.
“And then Knox fell into the pool fully clothed!” Owen laughed, nudging his brother across the table. “Tell them, man.”
“Pass.” He took a drink, his eyes meeting mine over the rim of his glass.
Owen swallowed a long swig of beer and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re no fun anymore…ever since—” He stopped himself, glancing at me and shaking his head.
I almost wished he said it. Ever since my father ruined everything. That’s what he was going to say before he thought better of it.
Awkward silence settled over the booth, while everyone avoided looking at me.
“I’m getting another drink,” I said, sliding out. “Anyone need anything?”
There was a chorus of no, so I took the opportunity and escaped to the bar. I was waiting for the bartender not even two minutes when I felt him behind me.
“Running away, Thorne?” His warm, whiskey-scented breath tickled my bare shoulder.
I steeled myself and turned around. Knox was closer than I expected, his body almost pressed against my back. His jacket was gone, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.
“I’m getting a drink, genius.” God, he was irritating. Months of silence and now he was trying to goad me.
“You sure about that?” His eyes raked over me and the corner of his mouth tipped up. “I think maybe you’re just realizing you don’t belong here. In fact, I think you’ve known that all night. That’s why you’ve been avoiding me.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you. In case you’ve forgotten, you’re the one who hates me.”
“Hate you? Me?” He leaned in closer, one hand braced on the bar beside me, effectively caging me in. “Maybe you’re right.”
“And maybe you’re an asshole,” I shot back, my chest rising and falling rapidly.
He scoffed, swigging the last of his whiskey and putting the glass down. “If I’m such an asshole, then why have you been eye fucking me all night?”
Then it was my turn to scoff. “You’re drunk and seeing things.”
“Am I? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you can’t decide if you want to slap me or fuck me.”
“You’re insane,” I said, but my pulse drummed so loud I could barely hear myself.
His other hand came up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. It was almost sweet if he didn’t open his mouth right after. “Tell me you haven’t thought about how good we’d fuck…all that tension brewing for years. You’ve thought about it, I see it all over your face.”
“I haven’t,” I lied, my hands trembling.
He wrapped his hand against my hip, pulling me flush against him. “You feel that, Sawyer? That’s what you do to me. What you’ve always done to me.”
Holy fuck.
He was hard against my stomach, and we’re barely touching. Knowing I did that to him had me filled with need.
“Come with me.”
“What?”
“Now.” His hand found mine, pulling me away from the bar before I could protest.
What the hell was I doing? This was Knox…He hated me and I didn’t like him very much either. Why was I not stopping this?
He led me down a hallway past the bathrooms, through a door marked Staff Only, into a packed storage room. The second the door closed behind us, he was on me.
His lips crashed into mine, stealing the air from my lungs.
I kissed him back just as hard, all the months of tension finally breaking.
He groaned against me, the sound so erotic that my knees were weak.
His hands were everywhere, fisting my hair, gripping my waist, sliding up my thigh under my dress.
“Fuck,” he groaned against my mouth. “I hate you so much.”
“Good.” I bit his bottom lip hard enough to make him hiss. “I hate you too.”
He spun me around, pressing the front of my body against the cold wall, his body caging me in from behind. He yanked my dress up until it bunched at my hips, then slid his hand between my legs.
“Knox.” I gasped his name.
“You’re soaking wet,” he growled in my ear. “All that attitude, all that fight, and you’re still fucking dripping for me.”
“Shut up.” I pressed back against him, grinding against his hand. His fingers slipped inside my underwear and I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped. It was loud, I knew it, but it came from somewhere deep within me. He covered my mouth with his other hand.
“Stay quiet. Unless you want everyone to hear what a desperate little slut you are for someone you claim to hate.”
I bit his palm in response and he groaned, his fingers moving faster. The angle was rough, almost painful, but I was so close already it didn’t matter.
“You’re gonna come on my fingers thinking about how much you hate me,” he breathed against my ear. “And then you’re gonna go back out there and sit next to my brother and pretend this never happened, aren’t you, Thorne?”
“Yes,” I breathed. “Don’t stop.”
“Say you hate me.” His fingers curled inside me, hitting the exact right spot, and I bit down on his palm to keep from crying out. “Fucking say it.”
“I hate you,” I gasped against his hand. “I hate you so much.”
“Good girl.” His thumb found my clit, circling tighter, faster. God, I was so close. “Hate me while you come all over my hand like the hypocrite you are.”
My legs started shaking. I was going to come. Knox Aldrich was going to make me come.
“You know what?” he growled against my ear. “You don’t deserve to come.”
And just like that, he pulled his hand away, that mask of anger sliding back into place.
“What?” I asked, panting, almost in tears.
He stepped back, putting distance between us, and adjusting his cock through his pants. “You heard me, Thorne. You’re greedy little cunt doesn’t get to come on my hands. Not tonight. Not ever.”
“You’re such an asshole.” My voice shook with fury and unsatisfied need.
“And you’re a spoiled little princess who thinks she can have whatever she wants. But this? Me? You can beg all you want and you can’t have it.” He slips his two fingers into his mouth, sucking crudely. “Fucking shame too, princess, because you taste delicious.”
Humiliation burned through me like acid. Tears pricked at my eyes. Tears from anger, from frustration, from the way I let him use me and treat me like shit. “Fuck you, Knox.”
“Not tonight.” He straightened his shirt, completely composed now like the past five minutes didn’t happen. Like he didn’t just have his fingers inside me. “Maybe never. I haven’t decided yet if you’re worth the trouble.”
I wanted to slap him, or scream, or slide my underwear off and finish what he started just to prove I didn’t need him. Instead, I shoved past him toward the door.
“Don’t fucking talk to me ever again.”
I stumbled into the hallway, vision blurry, trying to get myself together before someone saw me like this. I only made it a few steps before I ran smack into Owen.
“Sunny, I was looking for you.” He scans my face, flushed cheeks, tears threatening to spill out. “Whoa, hey. What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you crying?”
“No, I…” I hesitated, too wrecked to make up a lie on the spot.
His gaze moved past me to the storage room door, still cracked open. Then back to me, and I watched understanding start to dawn. “What were you doing back here?”
“I got lost looking for the bathroom.”
Knox came out the door behind me, I felt him before I saw him. He didn’t even glance in our direction, the prick just walked past us like we’re invisible.
Owen watched him go, his jaw going tight. Then he looked back at me, eyes wide with concern.
My hair was messed up. My dress was wrinkled. I’m shaking and could barely catch my breath. Yeah, he knew some shit just went down.
“What happened?” His voice dropped low, in a way I had never heard from him before. “What did he do to you?”
“Nothing. We just…We got into an argument. About my dad. About the whole mess. It’s fine.”
“You’re about to cry.” He reached out and caught a tear. Once that fell, I couldn’t stop the others from following. Hot angry tears slid down my cheeks, betraying me in front of Owen.
“I’m just tired and drunk and I want to go home.”
Owen’s hands moved to cup my face, so gentle, the complete opposite of how Knox was touching me. “Sawyer. Did he hurt you?”
Yes.
“No,” I lied. “He’s just an asshole. Can you please just take me to my car?”
He studied my face for a long moment, clearly not believing a word, but he nodded anyway.
“Yeah. Come on.”
We said our goodbyes to Hailey and her husband, and walked out to the parking lot. Both of us were silent, but Owen kept glancing at me like he wanted to say something, I’m grateful he didn’t.
Not until we reached my car at least. He turned to face me under the lamppost.
“Whatever Knox said to you in there…whatever he did to hurt you, he’s wrong and an asshole.
He’s angry and he’s lashing out, and you’re an easy target, but that doesn’t make it okay.
” He stepped closer. “But I’m not like that, Sawyer.
I don’t care about the scandal. I don’t care what your father did. I only care about you.”
I didn’t know what to say. He was right, of course. I knew Owen was nothing like Knox, but why was he telling me all that now?
“I’ve been wanting to ask you this for a while,” he continued, taking my hands in his. “But with everything going on, I didn’t want to add pressure. But I think we could be really good together. If you’d give us a chance. Let me take you out. A real date, just us.”
Say no. Tell him that I’m not ready, that he deserves so much better than whatever I am right now.
But then Knox’s cruel voice echoed through my mind. You can’t have me. I haven’t decided if you’re worth the trouble.
Fine. If Knox wanted to be vicious, if he wanted to use me and throw me away, then I’d choose Owen. I’d choose someone who actually wants me. Who’s kind and good and doesn’t play games designed to break my heart.
“Okay,” I said, forcing the corners of my lips up. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
Owen’s face transformed, his smile so hopeful it made my chest ache. “Yeah? Really?”
“Really.”
He kissed me softly, like I was something to be treasured, and I kissed him back, even though my body was still humming with need for someone else. Even though I could still feel Knox’s fingers inside me, could still hear him telling me I didn’t deserve to come.
Even though I knew, somewhere deep down, that I was making a mistake.
But Knox made his choice when he walked away, so I made mine.