Chapter 39 #3
The kind that didn't knock on the door.
The kind that didn't ask to be remembered.
The kind that simply whispered,
"I hope you're happy."
Even when happiness meant watching from far away.
Even when happiness meant leaving.
Even when happiness meant pretending not to care.
And maybe, someday, Orm would finally stop looking at the calendar when Lingling's birthday came around.
Maybe someday the tradition would end.
Maybe someday the plane ticket would remain unbooked.
Maybe someday she would bake a different cake.
Maybe someday she would finally stop looking toward the house next door.
But that day had not come yet.
So she continued.
Because love, sometimes, was not about holding on.
Sometimes it was about knowing when to let go...
And still caring enough to make sure the person you loved never felt the weight of your goodbye.
Because sometimes...
The greatest proof of love wasn't staying.
It wasn't being chosen.
It wasn't being remembered.
Sometimes, it was quietly stepping out of someone's life...
And still making sure they had something sweet to celebrate.
Even if they never knew who made it.
Even if they never knew why.
Even if they never knew...
That somewhere in the world,
someone still loved them enough
to come back every year.
-
During the flight back to Bangkok after Lingling's birthday, Orm would board another plane.
She would sit by the window.
She would watch Paris disappear beneath the clouds.
And somewhere between the sky and the distance, she would close her eyes.
She wouldn't cry immediately.
She would simply breathe.
Slowly.
Deeply.
As though preparing herself to return to the life waiting for her.
Bangkok.
Work.
Family.
Liam.
The ordinary days.
The ordinary responsibilities.
The ordinary life she had chosen.
A life where no one knew that every year, a piece of her heart still traveled to Paris.
A life where loving Lingling meant remaining unseen.
--------
Years passed that way.
Quietly.
Painfully.
And, somehow, beautifully.
Life did not stop simply because Orm's heart had once been broken. The world kept turning, mornings still came, seasons changed, birthdays were celebrated, and Liam continued growing before her very eyes.
He grew taller.
His little shoes became too small almost as quickly as she could replace them. His favorite shirts became too short. His baby teeth slowly disappeared, replaced by a brighter, wider smile.
And his laughter-
His laughter became the soundtrack of their home.
There were mornings when Liam would crawl into Orm's bed just to wake her up because he wanted pancakes.
There were afternoons when he would sit on the kitchen counter, swinging his legs while telling her stories that made absolutely no sense.
There were nights when Orm would tuck him beneath his blankets, kiss his forehead, and listen to him whisper one last question before sleep finally claimed him.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, baby?"
"Wiw you stay untiw I faw asweep?"
Every single time, Orm would smile.
"Always."
And she meant it.
She had lost many things in her life.
She had lost love.
She had lost time.
She had lost the future she once imagined.
But she refused to let Liam ever feel like he had lost a mother who was present.
So she stayed.
She stayed through every fever, every nightmare, every scraped knee, every birthday candle.
She stayed.
And slowly, without realizing it, Orm began to understand that sometimes surviving heartbreak did not mean forgetting the person who broke your heart.
Sometimes...
It simply meant learning how to live with the space they left behind.
Sean recovered completely.
It took time.
It took patience.
It took more strength than he ever admitted.
But eventually, the hospital visits stopped.
The medications became memories.
The fear that once followed him everywhere finally loosened its grip.
He started laughing again.
Really laughing.
The kind of laughter that reached his eyes.
And Orm was grateful.
She had once blamed herself for so many things.
For choosing wrong.
For hurting him.
For allowing him to become part of a story that had already been doomed by circumstances neither of them could control.
But Sean never held it against her.
Instead, he slowly rebuilt his life.
Eventually, an opportunity came.
Japan.
A new job.
A new country.
A chance to begin again somewhere far away from the memories that had once weighed heavily on his shoulders.
He accepted.
And there, thousands of miles away from the life he had once known, fate surprised him again.
He met someone.
Someone kind.
Someone patient.
Someone who never asked him to pretend his scars weren't there.
Someone who didn't love him because he had finally become whole.
She loved him while he was still learning how to be.
And perhaps that was the greatest gift life could have given him.
Years later, Sean remarried.
And not long after that, a beautiful little girl entered his life.
When he called Orm to tell her the news, she cried.
She cried so hard that Sean became worried.
"Orm?"
"I'm okay."
"You don't sound okay."
Orm laughed through her tears.
"I'm happy."
She wiped her cheeks, looking at the little boy asleep beside her.
"I'm just... really happy for you."
Sean was silent for a moment.
Then Orm whispered,
"You deserve this, Sean."
There was a smile in his voice when he answered.
"So do you."
Orm closed her eyes.
Those four words hurt more than she expected.
Because somewhere deep inside, there was still a part of her that wondered whether she deserved happiness too.
Whether she was allowed to want something for herself after spending so many years simply surviving.
She didn't know.
But she kept hoping.
Time continued moving.
And every night, before Orm closed her eyes, she still prayed the same prayer.
It had become almost a ritual.
Sometimes she whispered it.
Sometimes she only thought it.
Sometimes the words came through tears.
But they were always the same.
If our story is truly over...
Please help me be grateful that I loved her.
Please help me remember the good without being destroyed by the ending.
Help me accept that some people are meant to change our lives without staying in them.
She would take a shaky breath.
And then, despite everything...
She would whisper the second part.
But if it isn't...
If there is still something left between us...
Please bring us back together.
Not because we are lonely.
Not because we are afraid.
Not because we miss the people we used to be.
But because we have finally learned how to love without destroying ourselves.
Bring us back when neither of us has to sacrifice ourselves anymore.
Bring us back when love is no longer something we have to survive.
Bring us back when we are finally ready.
Then Orm would open her eyes.
And the room would still be quiet.
Lingling would still be gone.
And Orm would tell herself that perhaps that was God's answer.
Perhaps some prayers were answered with silence.
Perhaps some love stories were meant to remain unfinished.
Perhaps closure was simply learning to stop asking for another chapter.
She had almost convinced herself.
Almost.
Until Junji called.
"She's coming home."
Orm froze.
She was standing in the kitchen, one hand holding a cup of coffee while the other was busy preparing Liam's lunch.
For several seconds, she didn't understand what Junji meant.
"Who's coming home?"
There was a pause.
Then Junji said the name that could still make Orm's entire world stop with a single syllable.
"Lingling."
The cup nearly slipped from Orm's hand.
Her fingers tightened around it.
Her heart stopped.
Or perhaps it simply forgot how to beat.
"...Who?"
She already knew.
She just needed to hear it again.
"Lingling."
Orm swallowed.
Junji continued gently.
"She's coming to Phuket."
"For my wedding."
The kitchen suddenly felt too small.
The air felt too heavy.
Four years.
Four entire years.
Four years of learning how to breathe without her.
Four years of convincing herself that she had survived the worst of it.
And now...
Lingling was coming back.
Junji's voice softened.
"I thought you deserved to know."
Orm couldn't answer.
"Maybe this is the right moment, Orm."
She finally whispered,
"I don't know."
"You don't have to attend my wedding," Junji continued. "I know Sean would normally be home for Liam's birthday celebration, but you can celebrate here in Phuket too. You can come with Liam."
Orm closed her eyes.
"Junji..."
"Lingling is staying for a week after the wedding, Fluke told me."
Silence.
"Do you think four years was enough, Junji?"
Her voice cracked.
"Do you think fate would be kinder to us this time?"
Junji sighed.
"We'll never know."
Orm looked down.
"And if it isn't?"
"Then you accept it."
Orm's eyes filled with tears.
"You make it sound so easy."
"It's not easy."
Junji's voice was firm but gentle.
"But if you don't try, you'll never know."
Orm said nothing.
"I think it's time for your heart to mend too."
"What if she doesn't want me anymore?"
"Then let her tell you that herself."
Orm's lips trembled.
"Don't refuse yourself the chance of happiness, Orm."
She closed her eyes.
"Even if the answer hurts?"
"Especially then."
Junji paused.
"Because at least you'll know the truth."
The call ended.
Orm remained standing in the kitchen.
For several minutes, she didn't move.
Then she looked at the calendar.
At Liam's birthday.
At Junji's wedding.
At Phuket.
At the possibility she had spent four years trying not to imagine.
Her fingers trembled as she opened her phone.
And quietly...
She booked a two-week stay in Phuket.
Not because she expected anything.
Not because she planned to chase Lingling.
Not because she believed one week could erase four years.
She simply wanted to see her once more.
Even if it was only from across a crowded room.
Even if Lingling never noticed her.