Chapter 43 #3
Orm nodded against her chest.
"One day at a time."
Silence returned.
But this time, it was comfortable.
Until Orm suddenly became still.
Lingling felt it immediately.
She looked down.
"Orm?"
Orm didn't answer.
Her fingers had tightened around Lingling's hand.
They were trembling.
"Orm?"
The younger woman swallowed.
"Lingling?"
"Yes?"
Orm lifted her head.
Her eyes were already glossy.
"You okay?"
Orm stared at her.
For a moment, she looked like she wanted to speak.
But no words came.
Lingling's expression became worried.
"Orm."
"I'm okay."
"You're shaking."
Orm looked down at their hands.
"I have something to show you."
Lingling frowned slightly.
"What is it?"
Orm took a breath.
"I don't know if you're going to be happy."
Her voice cracked.
"Or if you're going to..."
She stopped.
Lingling's heart sank.
"Going to what?"
"Run away from me."
Lingling immediately turned toward her completely.
"Orm."
She took both of Orm's hands.
"Look at me."
Orm hesitated.
"Whatever it is, I'm not going anywhere."
"You don't know that."
"I do."
"But-"
"Orm."
Lingling squeezed her hands.
"Whatever you're about to tell me, you don't have to be afraid of me."
Orm's lower lip trembled.
Lingling had no idea what she was about to hear.
She only knew that Orm looked terrified.
And that terrified her more than anything.
Then, without another word, Orm reached beside her.
Her fingers disappeared into the pocket of her cardigan.
When she pulled her hand back out, she was holding a small white envelope.
She stared at it.
Then she placed it carefully in Lingling's lap.
Lingling looked down.
A plain white envelope.
Nothing remarkable about it.
And yet Orm looked as though she had just placed her entire heart inside it.
Lingling looked back at her.
"What is this?"
Orm's voice was barely a whisper.
"Open it."
Lingling hesitated.
She studied Orm's face.
"You can tell me if you're scared."
"I am."
"Then I'll be scared with you."
Orm's eyes filled with tears again.
Lingling slowly tore open the side of the envelope.
Her hands were already trembling.
She reached inside.
Pulled out a folded piece of paper.
She unfolded it.
And then she stopped breathing.
Her eyes moved over the image.
Black.
White.
Grainy.
Small.
But unmistakable.
A sonogram.
Lingling stared at it.
She couldn't move.
Couldn't speak.
For several seconds, the entire world seemed to disappear.
The city lights.
The cars.
The noise.
Everything.
There was only that tiny image in her hands.
And then she looked at Orm.
Her eyes immediately filled with tears.
"Orm?"
Orm nodded.
One tiny movement.
That's all it took.
Lingling's lips parted.
"This..."
Her voice broke.
She looked back at the sonogram.
Then at Orm.
"Is this...?"
Orm nodded again.
"Eight weeks."
Lingling's breath caught.
"Eight weeks?"
Orm nodded.
"You're pregnant?"
Orm covered her mouth as a sob escaped.
"Yes."
Lingling stared at her.
Pregnant.
Orm was pregnant.
With her child.
Their child.
For a moment, Lingling couldn't understand what she was feeling.
Shock.
Disbelief.
Fear.
Happiness.
A kind of overwhelming joy she had almost forgotten how to imagine.
Her eyes moved back to the sonogram.
There it was.
A tiny life.
A tiny heartbeat that she hadn't heard yet.
A tiny person who didn't even know the world existed.
A tiny person who had somehow already changed everything.
"Orm..."
Her voice trembled.
"I'm sorry."
Lingling looked up sharply.
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
Orm began crying.
"I didn't mean for this to happen like this."
"Orm-"
"We just started again."
She wiped her tears quickly, but more replaced them.
"We just agreed to take things slowly."
Lingling stared at her.
"And then this happened."
Orm's voice became smaller.
"I was scared to tell you."
"Why?"
"Because what if you're angry?"
Lingling's eyes widened.
"Angry?"
Orm nodded.
"What if you think I'm trapping you?"
"Orm."
"What if you think I'm doing this because I want to force you into something?"
"Orm, stop."
But Orm couldn't.
"I know we're still trying to figure us out."
Her tears fell freely now.
"And now there's a baby."
She looked down at her hands.
"I didn't know how you would feel."
Lingling's eyes burned.
Orm took a shaky breath.
"So..."
She swallowed.
"If you're not ready..."
Lingling felt her heart crack.
"I'll understand."
"Don't."
"I can raise the baby myself."
"Orm-"
"You don't have to stay because of the baby."
Lingling's eyes filled completely.
"I don't want you to feel obligated."
Orm cried harder.
"I don't want you to think you have to marry me or stay with me or love me just because I'm pregnant."
Lingling couldn't speak.
"I'll keep the baby."
Orm's voice broke.
"Even if you don't want this."
Lingling's tears finally spilled.
"Orm."
"I'll do it alone if I have to."
"Please."
"I'll never ask you for anything."
Lingling shook her head.
"Please stop."
"I just..."
Orm pressed a hand against her chest.
"I just didn't want to lose you again."
That was the sentence that destroyed Lingling.
She set the sonogram down with shaking hands.
Then she reached for Orm.
Orm barely had time to breathe before Lingling pulled her into her arms.
"You're not losing me."
Orm froze.
Lingling held her tighter.
"Do you hear me?"
Orm's sobs immediately broke against her shoulder.
"You're not losing me."
Lingling's own tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Not because of the baby."
She pulled back just enough to look into Orm's eyes.
"I'm staying because I want to."
Orm shook her head, crying.
"But-"
"No."
Lingling cupped her face.
"You don't have to apologize."
Orm stared at her.
"You don't have to be afraid."
"But we're only just starting..."
"I know."
"We said we'd take things slowly."
"We will."
"Then how can you be okay with this?"
Lingling laughed through her tears.
A broken, trembling laugh.
"Because, Orm..."
She looked down at the sonogram.
Then back at the woman she had loved for years.
"Do you really think this is something I don't want?"
Orm's expression crumbled.
Lingling touched her cheek.
"For years..."
She struggled to breathe through her tears.
"For years, I dreamed about this."
Orm went completely still.
"A family."
Lingling's voice trembled.
"A home."
She laughed softly.
"Children running around."
Her eyes dropped toward Orm's stomach.
"And you complaining that the house is too noisy."
Orm cried harder.
Lingling smiled through her tears.
"I imagined you yelling at me because I spoiled them."
A small, broken laugh escaped Orm.
Lingling touched her forehead to hers.
"I imagined holding our baby."
Her voice became almost inaudible.
"I imagined hearing you tell me that I'm going to be a mother."
A tear slipped down her cheek.
"But eventually..."
She closed her eyes.
"I convinced myself those dreams weren't meant for me."
Orm's breath hitched.
"Because we lost each other."
Lingling swallowed.
"And I thought maybe that was the price."
Her hand trembled as she touched the sonogram.
"Four years."
She looked at Orm.
"Four years of thinking that dream would remain just a dream."
Her smile broke.
"And now you're sitting here telling me it's real."
Orm cried into her hands.
Lingling gently wiped her tears.
"How could I be angry?"
She kissed Orm's forehead.
"How could I possibly be angry at the greatest surprise of my life?"
Orm sobbed.
"I was so scared."
"I know."
"I thought you might hate me."
"I could never hate you for this."
"What if you're not ready?"
Lingling smiled.
"Then we'll learn."
Orm stared at her.
"Together?"
"Together."
"You really mean it?"
Lingling nodded.
"I mean every word."
She placed her hand gently over Orm's stomach.
There was barely anything to see yet.
Just the smallest beginning.
But Lingling looked at it as though she were looking at the entire universe.
"Our baby."
Orm's breath caught.
"Our baby."
Lingling laughed softly through her tears.
"I can't believe it."
Orm covered Lingling's hand with hers.
"Neither can I."