Chapter 24
Iwoke up soaked in sweat the next morning.
Theo’s visit and the recurring nightmare about that fateful night in ‘The Nest’ had been playing catch in my dreams. Focusing on Theo’s reason for coming to my room seemed the safer way to go.
Nothing good would come out of me flagellating myself over the bad choices I had made in the past.
Theo hadn’t finished what he had wanted to say. What was his main concern? Was he jealous because he thought I might join the Gods’ orgies or did he mean something else? Was he worried that the enemy was going to approach me and that I couldn’t help myself, being a wordsmith and all?
I felt a little frustrated because deep down I had hoped he knew I would never betray him.
I checked my bag one last time before closing it. Workout clothes, in case I needed to bleed off frustration. Practical clothes for informal settings. And beneath it all, carefully wrapped, the gowns that had arrived the day before.
Those were what I looked forward to most.
I’d chosen the fabrics weeks ago at the dressmaker’s, back when plans for the capital were still taking shape. Even then, I’d known they would be beautiful, but I hadn’t been prepared for how they made me feel. I couldn’t remember another moment in my life when I had felt quite so stunning.
Lythandra had gone with me, utterly at ease in her own skin. We drank champagne, laughed until our cheeks hurt, and somewhere between fittings it struck me how much I’d missed that simple intimacy, having a friend to talk to, to share an afternoon with.
For most of my life, I’d never lacked for company. I made friends easily, collected acquaintances wherever I went. There were always stories to trade, always laughter close at hand. Even at the Nest, I’d found real friendships among the women who worked for Madame Celestine.
Coming home had been different.
Life here had moved on without me. My old friends had families now, routines, small worlds I no longer fit into. I became the odd one out, slipping quietly into a pattern of work and sleep, keeping my head down and my past buried.
So something as simple as shopping with a friend meant more to me than I’d expected.
As I closed my bag, a strange, fragile feeling settled in my chest. It felt like I was beginning to find myself again, the person I’d been before everything went wrong. Before the mistakes. Before I came home to hide.
Taking the bag and my dresses in one arm, I glanced back into the room.
A strange sense of foreboding overcame me, as if my return wasn’t certain.
I pushed the thought away and went downstairs, where the others were already waiting.
A group of sentinels would travel ahead with our luggage, and I was to travel with Lythandra and Malek.
I was just about to step onto the Pathway, when Theo called out, “Mae, you are coming with me.”
Malek and Lythandra looked at each other, but didn’t say anything.
Along with the others they disappeared, and Theo and I were the only ones left.
I stepped towards him, grabbing the lapels of his robe so we could travel the Pathways together, making sure not to touch him any more than necessary.
A swirl of light erupted around us and the veil was pulled over us.
We were traveling slower than usual. Either Theo was controlling the speed to make it easier for me, or the fact that so many people were traveling at the same time slowed down the Luminaris.
Theo stopped and turned to me. We held each other’s gaze, the space between us heavy, crowded with everything we refused to give voice to. Words hovered and went unused, left to dissolve in the quiet.
Some things, we both knew, could not be fixed by saying them aloud.
He stepped closer.
Then closer still, until there was barely a breath between us. Heat bled through the thin barrier of our clothes. I caught the familiar scent of him, wood and leather and my lungs filled on instinct.
His breath brushed my cheek.
When I lifted my eyes, his were already closed, his control pulled tight as a wire.
We stayed that way as the world carried on around us, close enough that the smallest movement would have undone us both.
“We are almost there,” Theo announced gruffly and stepped back from me. This was my last chance to speak to him alone without the risk of being overheard.
“You wanted to ask me for a favor the other night and I didn’t have the chance to tell you that you will never have to ask me to be loyal to you. And I hope that, whatever happens in the future, you will never forget that.”
I couldn’t be certain, but there was a brightness in Theo’s eyes that hadn’t been there before—something dangerously close to tears. We came to a halt, the veil still drawn tight around us.
“Can the others see us?” I asked.
He shook his head.
I rose slowly onto my toes and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. His stubble was scratchy underneath my lips, and he smelled heavenly. For a fleeting, selfish moment, I wished the world would leave us there.
When I stepped back, his eyes met mine.
They shone the way they had on the field with Ignara, when his power had burned unchecked—but this time there was no magic in it. Only feeling.
His gaze dropped to my mouth. His hands curled into fists at his sides, shoulders tightening as though bracing against something unseen. My pulse stumbled, a pull drawing me forward, urging me to close the distance and stop thinking altogether.
Theo’s head dipped, just slightly. His focus never left my lips.
The light in his eyes throbbed in time with my heartbeat, and I saw it then, the fracture in his resolve. Before it could give way completely, I straightened and lifted a hand between us.
“I am sorry, Theo, but we have to go now. Let me be the one to be strong this time,” I rasped. And with that, I exited the Veil and left Theo to follow whenever he was ready.
When I stepped out from under the veil the others were already waiting.
“Theo forgot something at the Lodge, he will be here in a little while,” I said happily.
Hopefully nobody noticed my shaking hands.
* * *
We were greeted by a scary looking female fairy with long black hair that nearly covered all of her face and shoulders. She welcomed us to Vhalyra, the capital of the God realm.
“Where exactly are we?” I whispered to Lydia.
“This is a designated arrival place for anyone wanting to enter the Celestium. It is forbidden to travel straight into the Celestium, hence the meeting spot out here on the bridge.” Auretheos had told me about the Celestium in one of our many lessons in preparation for the conclave.
It was the temple of all Gods, a place for them to meet, conduct business or to solve their disputes.
The temple could house hundreds of people and now that I was standing in front of it, I understood what Theo had meant when he had told me that the Celestium was one of the most beautiful places in the realm.
We stood on a rounded plateau at the base of the Celestium, the floor underneath our feet shimmering in cream-colored hues and reflecting the changing light of the sky, making the building appear as if it shifted and breathed.
The tall, round building in front of us tapered as it rose, with multiple terraces and balconies spiraling around it.
The building was covered in ivy and vines of flowers, neatly trimmed around the windows to let in as much light as possible.
It was truly awe-inspiring and my anxiety spiked at the thought of entering these sacred halls to meet with the Gods.
We were led to our rooms, which were all on the same floor.
I hadn’t seen Theo since our few stolen moments inside the Luminaris and even now he was nowhere to be seen.
We were instructed to get settled in and make ourselves at home.
There would be a small welcome drink on the south side terrace later tonight, followed by a grand meal in the winter garden.
Our bags had already been delivered, so when I entered my room, my new dresses were hanging up neatly in the closet.
I debated which dress I should wear first and opted for the dark blue cocktail dress that Lythandra had raved about because according to Lythandra, the form-fitting dress “hugged my curves perfectly”.
The lace bodice clung to my upper half, intricate patterns of dark floral details weaving across my chest and shoulders.
The high neckline added a touch of elegance, with delicate cap sleeves barely grazing my arms. The satin fabric shimmered in the light, falling smoothly down to my knees, where a cascading ruffle danced along the side slit.
It swayed gently with every step I took, adding just the right amount of drama to the dress.
I looked at myself in the mirror and almost couldn’t believe that this was me.
For the past few years there had not been many occasions to dress up, so I had never minded my practical wardrobe.
Still, I had to admit that I had never felt as beautiful as I did right now.
I had caught the sun while riding with Lydia, and freckles had appeared across the bridge of my nose and over my cheeks.
My hair was no longer blunt and dry from long days in the stuffy surgery.
It now fell down my back in gentle silken waves.
But what astonished me most was the change in my eyes.
Once, they were ringed with dark circles, evidence of too many sleepless nights and too little sunlight.
Over time, they had grown dull and lifeless, like the eyes of a forgotten doll gathering dust in the back of an antique shop.
But something had shifted since coming to Aerethia.
Something inside me had stirred awake, and it showed in my eyes.
A light flickering back on, reminding me that I wasn’t hollow. I wasn’t fading. I was alive.