Chapter 40
Theo
It was my birthday.
I’d never celebrated it, not properly or meaningfully.
To me, it had always been just a date on the calendar, a reminder of the day I was taken from my mother’s arms and placed in the temple.
A beginning, yes, but not one I’d chosen.
As a teenager, I’d used the day as a convenient excuse to throw a party at the Lodge.
Loud, chaotic, rebellious.
A way to defy the sentinels and their endless rules. Not a celebration, but a statement.
Now, I stood in front of the mirror, buttoning up a dark blue shirt. The fabric was clean and well-tailored. I looked like someone who had their life together.
I didn’t feel like that man.
Downstairs, my friends were waiting. They’d organized a dinner in my honor.
I wasn’t in the mood for it, but I owed them the courtesy of showing up. After everything I’d put them through last year, simply being present felt like the least I could do.
It had taken time to rebuild things with them. Time, patience, and more apologies than I cared to count.
Next week marked exactly one year since Maelis entered my life. One year since everything changed. I could already feel the tide rising inside me, slow and suffocating. The anticipation of that anniversary hung over me like a storm cloud.
Still, tonight wasn’t about her. Or me. It was about the people downstairs. The ones who had stayed. The ones who hadn’t given up on me, even when I made it nearly impossible not to.
I paused at the top of the stairs, listening to their laughter.
Their voices carried up to me, teasing, bickering, warm.
For a moment, just a moment, it felt like it used to.
Before everything fractured.
Before I learned what it meant to love someone so deeply it broke me.
Dinner had been excellent.
We’d migrated to the sofa, drinks in hand, full and slightly unsteady. Frankly, we were all fairly drunk. Someone had brought out the dessert wine. A mistake, probably.
Then came the knock.
It echoed through the Veilstead like something out of place. We all paused and looked at each other. Every name on the list was here, slouched around my living room with half-finished drinks and flushed cheeks.
I stood, regretting it instantly as the room tilted on its axis. I braced myself on the armrest, straightened, and made my way to the door.
Veridus.
Immaculate as ever, not a hair out of place.
He looked completely untouched by the chaos of the last year.
Or perhaps that was the point.
“Hello, Auretheos,” he said, “I need to speak with you.”
Not hello, Theo. Not even happy birthday. So, this wasn’t a social call.
I stepped aside. “Come in.”
He entered the room, taking in the scene: the music, the laughter, the half-finished wine. His brow twitched. Barely.
No, he hadn’t come for the party. That much was clear.
He turned to me. “Is there somewhere private we can talk?”
A hush fell over the room. No one said anything, but the energy shifted. Something had changed. I felt it in my chest, subtle but certain.
“Yes,” I said. “Upstairs.”
As I turned to lead the way, I caught Malek’s eye, tight with concern. Lythandra started to rise as well, her instincts kicking in.
Veridus raised a hand. A single, courteous gesture. It’s fine.
I wasn’t so sure.
We walked up the stairs in silence. Once we reached my study, I shut the door behind us. The moment the latch clicked into place, Veridus exhaled sharply.
Not nervous. Just… bracing himself.
Whatever this was, it wasn’t good.
“I hadn’t realized there was a party going on, otherwise I would have announced my arrival,” he drawled.
I motioned for him to take a seat and gathered two glasses and a bottle of whiskey.
“It’s been hard to find moments of joy for the past months, so they arranged a little birthday party for me,” I said.
Veridus nodded solemnly. We had all lost someone special to us in the battle and the aftereffects were still prominent around us.
“We haven’t had a chance to speak about my involvement in Mae’s… in her plans” he said. I had thought about this a lot, why she had trusted Veridus with her plan and had even involved him, but it never occurred to me to speak to him about it.
I cleared my suddenly dry throat.
“I take it it was her who got in touch with you back then?” I asked.
Veridus nodded, his usually affable self replaced with one of stoic earnestness.
“She did, the night before the attack on the Lodge. She asked about my powers and what I was capable of. She explained that she might need assistance at some point and wanted to know if I would be willing to help. At this point she didn’t discuss any details with me, but after the attack, she got in touch with me again. ”
My chest constricted when I thought about how she had done all of this behind my back and a part of me still felt betrayed. I understood why she had done it, but it hurt nonetheless.
Veridus reached inside his coat pocket and took out a stack of letters.
Placing them in front of me, he continued talking.
“Maelis told me that her training was going well, but that she wasn’t improving fast enough. She worried that she might not be able to help you fulfill the prophecy and she wanted a plan B. She had decided that as a last resort she would give up her magic. For you.”
I swallowed hard, my eyes fixed on the letters.
I equal parts wanted to read the letters and burn them forever.
“You spread the rumors about her supporting the Fraction,” I said roughly.
Veridus nodded. “It was a small thing for me to do and it set the stage for her betrayal. The news of her wavering loyalty needed to reach the Fraction to make them trust her enough to let her get close. It was always a last resort, just in case things weren’t going well for us.
And that day on the battlefield, when the Fraction captured you, she must have decided to go through with it. ”
I closed my eyes, thinking about the shock that had rocked my core when I realized Maelis was a part of the Fraction.
Or so I had believed at the time.
“Anyway…” Veridus sat up a little straighter, “I brought you her letters, thinking you might want to read her words to understand her motivations better.”
I nodded and was just about to thank him when he suddenly got up and started pacing.
“There is something else, though. It’s not the only reason I have come here today,” he said. I furrowed my brows, I had never seen Veridus uneasy or nervous before.
He had always been the epitome of swag and charm.
He turned around abruptly. “I think I saw Maelis.”
My heart stopped.
What was he saying?
Veridus ran his hands over his face.
“I know it sounds crazy and I have been debating whether I should even tell you this, but I think I saw her in a dream.”
I sat up straighter in my chair.
Shock, confusion, hope and something else stirred beneath my skin.
“What do you mean, in a dream? I dream about her all of the time, but that doesn’t mean anything,” I said gruffly.
“It’s hard to explain. I have dreams like any other person, weird and confusing and sometimes a little raunchy.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me, obviously trying to lighten the mood a little.
But his face fell instantly when he continued.
“But this was different. It felt as if I was inside of one of my own illusions. I knew who she was even though she was just a child and the dream didn’t make much sense, but I swear I could feel her essence.”
I got up, too agitated to sit still any longer. “Tell me what exactly you saw.”
Veridus retold his dream, of opening eyes to see a stream in front of him and a little house with red shutters. Maelis had been a child back then and was playing by the water. He left out no details, but when he finished with his retelling, I was even more confused than before.
“What do you think it means?” I asked.
He sighed. “I don’t know, I was hoping you could tell me if there are any references to the dead visiting in our dreams or something like that. I am sorry, I am not making any sense. I don’t want to give you false hope, but I couldn’t have lived with myself if I had kept this from you.”
I walked back to my desk and started going over my notes.
“I am glad you came to me, Veridus. I appreciate it more than you know.”
I sat back down and rested my forehead on my hands.
“I can still feel her. It’s getting less and less the more time passes, but it’s like she is still around.
I know a lot of people feel like their loved ones are watching after them, but it’s more than that.
Her magic is coursing through my veins and it feels like it’s calling to her.
But I have not been able to figure out how to get to her. ”
Veridus sat back down again and drained the whole glass of whiskey in one go.
“I could try and reach out to her in my dreams and ask her where she is. See if we can get any information from her?”
An emotion I hadn’t felt in nearly a year stirred in my chest.
Hope.
“How would you do that?” I asked tentatively.
“The last time it happened I had been quite… inebriated when it happened,” he admonished. “I am guessing it allowed me to go deeper into a trance than during my normal sleep cycle.”
I refilled his glass.
“So what? I just need to get you drunk and you’ll be able to speak with her again?” Amusement rippled across his face.
“Though I would enjoy getting drunk on your expensive whiskey, I think it would be best if I was in my right mind for this. I have used a certain technique to fall into a deep trance a few times already. I am guessing it could work like this as well.”
It was a long shot.
But it had been some time since I’d found anything resembling a real lead on Maelis, and I was willing to entertain even the implausible.
Desperation has a way of making fools of reasonable men.
I stood and extended my hand.
A nod.
Silent agreement.
Logic could wait, hope had the floor.
“Thank you, Veridus. Let’s meet again tomorrow at the temple and prepare. I have to think about what message I want you to deliver to her if you see her.”
Veridus nodded.
I already knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight.
* * *
Maelis
I slept most hours of the day now, because it was the only thing that made me feel better.
The in-between was a prison and every hour that I spent here brought me closer to losing my mind.
There was nothing here but bright, white smoke and light.
Like I was trapped in some damned cloud.
So when I curled up on the ground again, I didn’t expect to awake to the Fates sitting opposite of me, watching me sleep.
I nearly screamed when I spotted them.
“Oh my Fates, what the hell?? Couldn’t you have announced that you were here??” I shouted.
It was almost comical, because there was nothing to worry about. I could have said something along the lines of “You could have given me a heart attack” but for that to happen I would have to be alive. I snorted at the ridiculousness of it all.
The Fates only reacted with their annoyingly mild tempered smile and gently said, “We apologize, Maelis. It was not our intention to scare you. We have taken a little moment to consider your situation.”
I wanted to laugh.
“A little moment??? You have been gone for weeks, leaving me to rot without anywhere to go!” I was up now, pacing with an angry purpose.
They tilted their head. “Hm, curious. It only felt like a few minutes for us.”
I threw my hands up in the air. What was I even supposed to say to that?
“So what’s your verdict, Fates? What is going to happen to me? Are you going to punish me?” I asked.
They shook their head. It suddenly hit me that I wanted the Fates to make a decision about my fate, but at the same time dreaded their verdict. I wanted to see Theo again and I couldn’t imagine my life simply being over.
But the thought of returning to everyone after what I had done and after they had said their goodbyes was frightening too.
“What if nobody even remembers me?” I said and tears filled my eyes. “What if Theo realized that it was better this way with me being gone?”
The Fates smiled again. “We have no knowledge of love and the rules that come with it. But living means hurting and you can’t do one without the other.”
I sniffed. Why did they have to be so damn wise?
I took a deep breath.
“So… what is going to happen to me now?” I asked cautiously.
“We are going to send you back to Auretheos.” My heart kicked up at that.
“You are sending me back, just like that? You discussed this for weeks and this is what you came up with?” My voice got loud and shrill.
The Fates only gently nodded and walked towards me.
“We can not tell you any more than that, we can not interfere with the order of things any more than we already have by keeping you here. But have faith that things will work out the way they should.”
I harrumphed. The Fates had made a grave mistake in miscalculating the course of my life and here they were wanting to send me back without so much as a “sorry for the confusion, we will send you back, just have some faith!”
I tried to calm down enough to ask some more questions.
“All right, whatever. What is going to happen now? And please, no more riddles.”
They stepped closer and placed their hands on my shoulders.
“If you are ready, we are going to send you back now to the temple of Auretheos. Is that all right with you?”
I felt sick to my stomach. Dread and hope and happiness and fear muddled with my brain, sending shock waves throughout my body and making me nauseous.
I simply nodded. I closed my eyes and waited.
I felt a gentle tug in my stomach, like I was moving on a carousel.
The sensation stopped and… nothing happened.
I tentatively opened one eye.
The Fates were still standing in front of me, and we were still surrounded by white light.
I closed my eyes again, not daring to say anything.
The feeling in my stomach soared again, stronger this time, but after a few seconds, it dissolved.
I opened both of my eyes then and saw the Fates staring back at me.
It hadn’t worked.
I was stuck.