Chapter 41 #3
“I am so glad to see you,” I breathed and he gave me an encouraging squeeze.
“We might have found a way to get you back.” He dropped the bomb without hesitation.
I let out an excited shriek and started jumping up and down in excitement.
Veridus filled me in on Theo’s theories and how he believed that the Fates had no pull over me anymore.
It sounded logical, but I wasn’t sure this was actually going to help us.
“I am not sure I understand. If it was a matter of choice, I would be back right this second!” I exclaimed and covered my face with my hands in frustration.
“I understand, but this is our best bet so far. Can you somehow contact the Fates and confront them about this?” Veridus asked.
“The Fates seem to come and go as they please. But I will try to get in touch with them. Please don’t give up on me.”
Veridus shook his head, but I could already feel him fading away again.
“Tell Theo I loved his letter. And that I am still on the island, waiting for him to come and get me.”
Veridus looked at me in confusion, but gave my hand a last squeeze before fading away.
The darkness surrounded me immediately and I fell back into my blissful hole of nothingness.
It took me what felt like weeks to locate the Fates.
I had walked around the smokey plains of the in-between for hours on end, calling their name until my voice was gone.
Finally, after a particularly sleepless period of wandering around, the Fates suddenly appeared.
“Hello. There is no need to shout, we came as quickly as possible.”
I arched an eyebrow.
“I have been calling for weeks now, where have you been that it took you this long to get here?”
The Fates simply shrugged and looked at me expectantly.
“I know why I am still here,” I exclaimed boldly.
“Is that so?” they asked in surprise and sat down on the ground before me.
I explained what Veridus had told me, consciously leaving out that part about meeting him in my dreams. I wasn’t sure that we hadn’t violated some ancient cosmic law by meeting and exchanging information, so I kept that part to myself.
When I had finished with my lecture, the Fates pondered everything they had heard for a while.
“It is true, wordsmith, that your act of love was a force beyond even our control, and your death has disrupted the cosmic balance in ways we didn’t anticipate.”
They remained silent for a while and when I thought they had nothing else to say, they got up.
“Your sacrifice was such an extraordinary act of free will and love that it broke the chains of your preordained destiny. You are right, you are beyond our control in a way that no mortal has ever been before. You won’t be able to return because we choose to bring you back.”
It seemed like they weren’t talking to me anymore, but rather muttering under their breath, as if there were multiple voices inside their head, discussing the matter.
“Your sacrifice created a cosmic imbalance that needs to be corrected. Bringing you back violates our laws, but we also recognized that the universe has already begun to change due to your actions. In a way, the universe itself is calling for your return. We have to adapt to this anomaly in the cosmic order.”
I wasn’t sure I understood everything they were saying, but the message was clear: The Fates would not be able to send me back.
They turned to leave and I followed them.
“What does that mean? How do I get back if you can’t send me?”
The Fates didn’t break their stride and kept mumbling under their breath.
Suddenly, they came to a halt and faced me.
“Free choice, wordsmith. Free choice.” And with that, they were gone.
I collapsed to the floor, releasing a frustrated cry.
I wanted to go home to my life, didn’t I?
Why was I still here if I truly wanted to return to my friends and family?
What would Theo do in this situation?
Remain calm.
Analyze the evidence.
Find patterns.
I tried to calm my erratic heartbeat and think logically.
Before I ever knew about the prophecy, my life had never truly been mine. Every step I took was shaped by duty, by expectation, by the unseen pull of Fate dragging me along a path I hadn’t chosen. Even my own power had felt like something I wielded on behalf of others, never for myself.
But the moment I chose to sacrifice myself… that was different. That was mine. No prophecy, no command, no guiding hand. Just me, making the call.
And now, here in this strange in-between, I understood something I hadn’t before:
I was still waiting. Still hoping someone else would decide for me. Still afraid to bear the full weight of choosing.
This place existed because I created it, not with magic, but with fear. A fear of stepping fully into myself. A fear of what it might mean to lead my own life instead of following where I was told to go.
But no one was coming to rescue me. No one could.
The way back wasn’t something one waited for. It was something I had to choose.
And I had to be brave enough to risk it.
To rise, to return, and to live a life that was mine, even if I failed.
As soon as I had finished that thought, the fog around me seemed to clear.
My hands were shaking and my breath was faltering.
I rubbed my hands together, they were numb, the sharp pain in my stomach radiating into my legs.
Panic was gripping me now, my face was tingling and my mouth going dry.
I tried to control my breathing but all I could do was take short and shallow breaths.
Dizziness took over, it felt like the world was spinning out of control. I wanted to run away, but I didn’t want to move. I needed to sit still or lay down, but as soon as I did, I could feel my heart beating in my chest so fast that I thought it might explode.
I was sweating, but not from the warmth around me, but from the erratic beating of my heart. I was well aware that I was having a panic attack, but I didn’t know what to do about it. Everything I had ever known to be true about my life and my heka had been turned upside down.
As long as I could remember I had been told not to use my heka for myself, to hide who and what I was. Even as an adult I had never truly been able to shape my own path and looking back now, it had always been the Fates and the prophecy which had guided me through life.
Now I was all alone, with no one to show me the way.
And while that should have made me feel free and independent for the first time in my life, all I felt was terror. Because I had made so many wrong choices in my life. Choices that cost people their life. Could I truly trust myself to make my own choices again?
That’s when I heard a rustle of paper, as Theo’s note slipped out of my pocket and fell to the smokey ground. I picked it up, the paper already crumbled from me reading it over and over again.
I wasn’t made to save anyone else anymore.
This time, I would save myself.
This time, I would choose me.