Chapter 46
FORTY-SIX
LIAM
Liam had opened up the farm shop for any evening gift shoppers and was keeping busy at his counter, doing a poor job of pretending he wasn’t watching Cassidy across the street.
She had come back to the Cocoa Corner and was stringing the last row of lights along the edge of her shop awning, or maybe she was moving the lights out of the way?
He wasn’t sure exactly what she was doing, but she had moved the ladder under the awning at least five times.
Tomorrow was her big light-up event, and she was clearly determined to make it perfect.
Snowflakes clung to her red beret, but she didn’t seem to care. Just like she didn’t seem to care if Liam was watching her.
Liam shook his head, wondering if he had made a mistake earlier that evening.
He missed her already, and it had nothing to do with the sex.
Although, that had been mind-blowing. It was everything else.
The way she hummed when she stirred her cocoa, the way she smiled so warmly at everyone who came into her shop.
The way she looked at him, like he was someone worth loving.
He’d had that, had her, and then he’d pulled away.
Mrs. Bishop was browsing the shelves, holding up a scarf in one hand and a bundle of evergreen-scented candles in the other.
She’d been in the store for a bit. Liam had done his part, asking if she needed any help.
When she’d insisted she didn’t, he’d gone back to his sketch pad that he kept under the desk.
He didn’t need to think. Didn’t even need to see a picture.
He just drew. His pencil traced the curve of her cheek.
Shaded in the knots on her braid. He gave her a peppermint-striped scarf that she hadn’t worn since last week, and he smiled without realizing, adding the faintest smudge of chocolate to her cheek.
Because, of course, she had chocolate on her cheek.
Mrs. Bishop approached the counter, and he quickly flipped the sketch pad closed.
“Find everything you need?”
“Oh yes, you have some lovely gifts.”
Liam had made sure to go all out, offering a little bit of everything.
His favorites were the Rustic Winter Jam Trio with mini jars of cranberry pear, spiced apple butter, and bourbon cherry jam packaged in a wooden crate.
And the Hot Honey Liam wanted his shop to represent the heart of the town.
He went to tell Mrs. Bishop thank you when he spotted the Team Cassidy sweater peeking out from under her unzipped coat.
He replied with a small, involuntary grunt instead.
“Nothing personal,” she said brightly, catching the look on his face. “I just think the children’s hospital is a really good cause. I’ve already donated to your family’s llama sanctuary. And Cassidy really is the sweetest thing.”
He nodded without meeting her eye, wrapping her purchases and sliding the items into a brown paper gift bag.
“You’re right, she is.”
After Mrs. Bishop left, Liam slipped his sketch pad out and got back to work, adding wisps of hair framing her face, an extra sparkle to her eye.
The bell jingled overhead, and Liam cursed softly, closing the pad a beat too late. Zach stepped inside, stomping snow off his boots, and gave him a look. “Drawing her now, huh?” he said, arching a brow.
He scowled. “Don’t start.”
It was too late. That was the only reason Zach had stopped over in the first place.
“I haven’t seen you around much the last couple of days,” Zach said, glancing at the empty shop. “What’ve you been up to?”
“Work,” Liam replied, opening the inventory software on the computer. He might as well check and see how many jams he needed to order.
“Ah, of course. Work,” Zach replied sarcastically. “Takes a lot out of you, doesn’t it?”
“Sure does.” Liam kept his eyes trained on the computer screen. “Do you need something?”
“Just wondering how long you plan on acting like an ass.”
That got Liam’s attention. “Who said I was acting like an ass?” He expected Zach to say Zoe. Or Madison. Maybe even Kit.
“Cassidy. She told me I should come over and smack some sense into you.”
“She did not.”
“No,” Zach admitted, “but she did ask my advice. She was wondering how much space to give you. That part required a little explaining… You want some advice?” Zach asked.
“No,” Liam replied flatly.
“Excellent, ’cause I never wanted your advice either, but here you have it—talk to her.”
Liam sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know what to say. I’m not even sure that I’m wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s been through a lot. I’m not sure if you knew about it, but after that French asshole, she made this vow: no dating, no men, just time to figure herself out.
I respected it, or tried to.” His jaw tightened.
“She came to me, Zach. She told me she was tired of letting Jean-Paul’s shadow control her.
She wanted to take her life back. She wanted to break her ‘no men for the year’ vow—on her terms. All in. Physically, emotionally, everything.”
Zach studied him. “And what did you do?”
Liam let out a breath, shaking his head. “I let her. I went there with her.” His voice dropped, rough with feeling. “Wouldn’t you?”
He paused, staring past Zach toward the snow-covered sidewalks outside.
“I thought everything was good. Better than good. There’s something about her that just snaps something loose in me. Makes me want to give her everything. But I didn’t realize how new all of it was to her. How little experience she really had.”
Zach folded his arms. “So now you think Cassidy doesn’t know herself? Doesn’t know what she wants?”
Liam hesitated. “I just… I don’t want to be another guy she goes along with. She’s got a history of choosing people who don’t treat her right. I didn’t want her to feel like she had to say yes to something just because I wanted it.”
Zach raised a brow. “I’ll give you that, but maybe that’s how she used to be.
But the Cassidy I know? She knows you hate Christmas and still parades around here full of jolly and holly like an elf at the North Pole.
She knows you despise Christmas music, and she still sings carols whether you’re in the room or not. ”
He leaned in slightly. “She’s not changing who she is to make you happy. She’s being herself. All she’s asking is that you accept her as is. And from the looks of things, you already have. If anyone’s not being fully honest in this equation, it might be you.”
Liam let the words settle. Zach wasn’t wrong.
Cassidy hadn’t changed, not once. Sure, there’d been that one time she’d worn a boring beige sweater, but that was it.
She still showed up with tinsel tangled in her hair and glittery snowflake tattoos on her cheeks.
Her Christmas sweater collection was enough to give Santa secondhand embarrassment.
And despite her tiny apartment, she had three Christmas trees.
She sang “Baby It’s Cold Outside” while she stirred chocolate. She wore candy-cane-striped pajamas and, God help him, coordinating panties.
“Something tells me,” Zach said, standing up straight again, “you owe someone an apology.”
Liam exhaled, long and low, but he didn’t say a word.
Zach grinned. “Good talk, man. I’ll catch up with you later.”
Liam didn’t answer.
The bell over the door jingled behind him, but Liam stayed still, surrounded by the scent of cedar and beeswax and regret.
Outside, Cassidy had taken a step back. She was admiring her handiwork, and knowing her, she still wouldn’t think it was enough.
He opened his sketch pad. The drawing was rough but unmistakably her with eyes bright, striped scarf, and the cocoa on her cheek. He traced the corner of the page with his thumb.
It had only been a few hours, and he still missed her so much.
He kept turning things over in his head, second-guessing everything he’d said, wondering if there was any way to make things right.