27. Bells & Whistles
Bells looks like my sweet little wife has some kinks for me to sort out.
“As soon as we make it home, I’ll be delighted to show you what your bells have to do with it.
” She tries to hide her smile with her cup, but I know better.
I was sipping on my oolong, but her words have me feeling like a kid waiting for Santa.
I slam the remainder of my drink in one gulp and stand.
“Mrs. Hollows, I’m afraid I see no reason to be anywhere other than our humble abode at present.” I bow with an unnecessary flourish, reaching out for her hand.
Always the lucky one. As soon as we step out of the tea shop, Gus is there—hugging Jo and sending a volley of fake punches my way.
“Hey, you little shit, what are you doing here?” I chuckle, holding the boy back with my palm against his forehead.
“I was lookin’ for you! Alby sent me to tell ya that we’re headed to The Raven’s Veil, cuz it’s my birthday! Ms. Jeanie promised me a cake—you will come, won’t ya?” Gus asks in one breath.
Ah, shit and piss.
“Of course we’ll be there, Augustus,” Jo answers for us, sending a sheepish shrug my way. I just had to marry the biggest heart in all of London.
“Well, we’d better get home—so we can freshen up or something beforehand. What time are you heading over?” I ask, hoping for at least an hour to probe my wife, lest I perish from ‘blue bells’.
“No! We’re going now, you must come now!” Gus wails, grabbing Jo’s hand and dragging her in the opposite direction.
“Come now, husband,” Jo giggles as she follows the boy.
“That’s exactly what I was hoping to do, wife,” I say with a pout. Regardless of my thwarted plans, I wouldn’t miss the kid’s birthday party. He’s really grown on me lately, and he seems so excited to have people around who genuinely care for him.
“I’ve been here five whole months and aside from the, uh, gentlemen’s club the Dastardly Dashwoods Duo took me to before our wedding, I haven’t been to a single tavern. Married life has tamed me,” I muse as we approach the solid door of a lively establishment.
“Well, I’ve been here a whole twenty-six years and haven’t been to a single tavern. Tonight shall be a first for us both, then.” Jo pats my arm, letting her hand linger and drift until our fingers are intertwined.
“As much as I want to be shocked by that, I think I’m finally starting to learn better.” Jo laughs and I smile. “I wish we had been able to go home first. I’m going to spend the entire night picturing your sweet lips every time I press my mouth to a pint and wishing it were the latter.”
“You had better not drink so much that you’re incapable of attending to me when we return home.” She swats at me playfully. “I don’t know why you would need to picture my lips when I shall be right next to you.”
“Oh, darling wife.” I lean forward to whisper in her ear, voice low, “I don’t mean those lips.” I preen when she squeaks, then sweep past her to open the door. “Ladies first.”
She fires harmless daggers at me as she enters the tavern, her malice betrayed by the raised corner of her mouth. I step in behind her and immediately I’m grinning ear to ear. I guess some things really are timeless.
“Fuck me, now this feels like home!” If you ignore the lack of Chappel Roan and Sabrina Carpenter blasting from loudspeakers, and swap the dresses and trousers for spandex and blue jeans, The Raven’s Veil could pass for a bar in 2025.
I hope Jo likes it here, because I already know I want to come back.