6. Mouths Gaping #2
“Never mind.” I waved it off. Stars above, they were poisoning the young ones. I suddenly felt like I was going to be sick.
Looking at me as though I’d completely lost my mind, he continued.
“There’s no celebration. Our parents don’t offer us to the Citadel.
Outside that building, no one is even aware of when the event occurs.
In a city this large—and considering that the event happens only one day every two to three years—they don’t suspect.
Well,” he amended, “there is a small minority that have their conspiracy theories. But it’s usually chalked up to crime or infant mortality. ”
My skin prickled as I tried to control my breathing. It was all lies. Every word they fed us. Every promise. Every so-called honor.
“Once our embers manifest, they train us on Navalis Island,” he continued. “They teach us to shave our potens lock. To stay unnoticed...”
“And then?” I demanded.
“Then they assign us to serve the queen—or use us as pawns to sway the other houses. Outside a tiny fraction of the ruling body, we don’t exist. We aren’t celebrated. Don’t live privileged lives. We’re nothing but—”
“Slaves. I know. You said.”
My skin grew tight with anger, the faint crackling of static filling my ears. The springs squeaked beneath me as I dropped onto the edge of the bed.
So that was it.
He pulled back the curtain, and my whole life just collapsed like cheap stage scenery.
The skin between my thumb and forefinger on my left hand felt soft and familiar. I rubbed the juncture. Like a small ritual, I instinctively worried the small, star-shaped freckle that marked the skin. The tiny blemish marked my skin in the same spot my sister had borne one.
My growing rage filled the space behind my ribs and hummed in my veins. To relieve the pressure, my thumb moved over the freckle, but it wasn’t enough.
Calm down. I am the moon in a velvet sky. I am the moon.
With eyes squeezed shut, I rubbed the freckle and pictured resting in the cloudless night sky.
I am the moon. I relaxed into the space between what Griffon explained and how angry it made me feel.
By sheer will and years of practice, I calmed the emotion down, like lowering the flame under a boiler ready to blow.
The memory of my sister was that extinguishing hand.
I would never escape the guilt of causing Sparrow’s death, but I could keep the poison of my anger from doing anymore damage.
Lock it away and bury it deep inside myself where it belonged.
And then resort to my usual defense—welcoming the weight of grief to replace the strain.
I let the despair of the deception settle into all those forgotten spaces, every tissue and every cell, until nothing inside me could move quickly enough to break.
Twin gods above, everything I thought was true… What was I going to do now?
I opened my eyes. “What are you trying to locate in Tenebris Forest?”
He tilted his head, those sharp eyes reading every emotion that flashed across my face. I probably looked like a children’s book written in a font so big he could see every word from across the room.
Continuing to study me, he replied, “A secret village. The last of the free Sideri.”
I drew a shaky breath. Maybe… maybe there really was a place for me. “You’ll take me there?”
“You’ve used up your questions.”
I glared at him. Of course I had. “It wasn’t a question. It was a request.”
“Sounded like a question to me.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’ll make you a deal,” he offered, leaning forward, elbows digging into his thighs. “You allow me to sell your potens lock and I will take you as far as that village in Tenebris Forest.”
“My potens lock?” My fingertips found the strands.
“The length of that lock will fetch a small fortune on the black market, and getting to Tenebris is going to cost some coin.”
It clicked. Back in the tunnel, he wasn’t staring at my shoulder before offering to take me with him. He was looking at the iridescent hair resting on it. I wasn’t a companion. I was currency.
“That’s why you allowed me to come with you, isn’t it?”
He gave me a wicked grin as he straightened up again. “Better than cutting it off your scalp and throwing you into the sea, isn’t it?”
Well, when you put it that way, I suppose I should be grateful he chose the less murderous option. Is that the kind of man I just ran away with?
“Would you do that?”
I would really like to know if I should sleep with one eye open.
“It would’ve made my life easier,” he said with all seriousness. “But I can be fair… you got me out of the catacombs, I got you up the cliff. That evens us out.”
I raised an eyebrow.
He shrugged, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Now, let’s deal with your lock, and I’ll get you to Tenebris.” He sat back and folded his arms again. “And hope my act of goodwill doesn’t come back to bite me in the arse.”
Act of goodwill? I had to resist the urge to laugh. “Ah yes, how benevolent of you. Not murdering someone and tossing their body in the ocean…the pinnacle of charitable behavior.”
“I don't recall claiming any virtue.”
“Good, because I wouldn't want you to start now.” I shot him a look that could cut glass.
I was completely at the mercy of his questionable morals.
Though considering I'm not missing a chunk of hair and floating in with the tide, maybe he wasn't as bad as he looked.
I sighed. The bar I'd just set was currently somewhere beneath sea level.
His eyes flickered with something that might have been amusement. “Smart mouth for someone who needs my help.”
“And yet, here we are.”
His gaze pinned me in place. I shifted slightly, but didn’t look away. The air felt thick, charged with unspoken calculations on both sides.
I knew I was losing ground with every passing second.
“On one condition,” I finally said, before he could decide I was more trouble than my potens lock was worth.
“And what is that?”