Chapter 16
Sixteen
Cleo
He’s late.
He promised me he’d return to Eloras in time for work. The chiming of a clock echoes around me, signaling the strike of a new hour, and still, no trace of him. As calm and composed as I try to be day in and day out, I’d be drenched if I still could sweat.
Perhaps I misjudged him. Or maybe he let his impulses get the best of him.
I’m assuming that’s what happened last night, too. I lift my fingers to my forehead, lightly stroking it, recalling the heated sensation of his lips against me again.
I’ve been intimate with a decent number of men in my existence. Never have I experienced something like that.
I’m convinced we were suspended in time for a moment.
But surely, that can’t be the case, because that would mean our game of pretend is one-sided.
And it’d be ridiculous for me to be on the losing side. Utterly ridiculous.
Consequently, I push these thoughts to the back of my mind and declare myself unwell for even considering this moment was anything other than a meaningless act fueled by adrenaline.
Okay, fine. It may have been more than that. But that’s beside the point. It won’t happen again, I’m sure.
Hadley has been breathing down my neck about Kai’s whereabouts.
Apparently, the Archangels tasked her with making sure we appear at work daily unless we give her notice otherwise.
Not to mention, she’s monitored me since I entered the archives, insisting on helping with sorting through the highest shelves in his absence.
Usually, I’d find this type of behavior odd, but because it’s coming from Hadley, I’m not remotely concerned. I’ve known her for quite a while, and she’s always had her quirks.
“When will Kai be coming in again?” she calls out from above, hovering in front of the top bookshelf with a feather duster. I’m almost positive Kai has already dusted that shelf, but alas. No point in correcting her.
“For the fifth time, we had a long night,” I answer. “I imagine he is still sleeping—”
“Fat chance,” a voice drawls from the entrance. Kai saunters deeper into the room, draping his arm around my shoulders. “He’s totally a morning person. He never oversleeps.”
Ignoring the butterflies swarming in my stomach, I glance up at him. “Oh, is that so? Then, pray tell, where were you this morning?”
“I went on a jog.” He shrugs, then nods his chin at her. “I had a feeling you’d hold the fort down in my absence, Hadley. I owe you.”
She smiles widely and descends, planting her feet on the ground in front of us and eyeing the way Kai’s arm is resting over my shoulders. I roll my eyes and set down the book I was holding, crossing my arms.
“Glad you arrived! But please don’t be late again. I wouldn’t want to have to report your tardiness to the Archangels… They gave me specific instructions when assigning you to labor under my supervision.”
He uses his free hand to salute warmly. “Got it, captain.”
She laughs a little too loudly. “I took care of the top shelf for you, too. She kept her feet on the ground in your absence.”
“Oh, good. Can’t have her overworking those pretty wings of hers, can we?” His lips curl into a smile as a knowing look I don’t particularly favor passes between them.
Do they think I’m blind? Since when do they have inside jokes?
“We’re speaking the same language,” she says, nodding and closing her eyes in contentment. “Well, I’ll let you two get back to it! You’ve made stellar progress so far. I imagine you’ll finish this vast chamber by the end of next week at the rate you’re working at.”
She prances out of the archives, shutting the doors behind her.
Once I’m sure she’s out of earshot, I peel away from Kai and punch his arm.
Ouch. Something tells me that hurt me more than it hurt him.
Refusing to show a shred of weakness in my expression, I stare at him square in the eyes. “A jog? Really? That’s the story you’re going with?”
“What? I’m not lying. I did go on a jog.” He crosses his arms while sporting a smug expression.
I knew it. That punch didn’t impact him in the slightest.
“Lie to me again.”
He rolls his eyes.
“I’m not lying. I really did go on a jog this morning. I just did it in the land below.” A mischievous glint enters his gaze. “It was amazing. Just what I needed to get through another day here.”
In an instant, he embraces me, wrapping me in his arms. The crown of my head reaches just beneath his collarbones. Tucking me tightly into his body, he exhales a breath of relief.
“Thank you,” he whispers into my hair, then bends down to rest his chin on my head.
His tight hold is different from what I’m used to. I’ve never felt so warm in someone’s arms before. Losing my wits, I can’t help but echo his movement, loosening my shoulders and leaning into him.
A couple of moments later, we break apart and get to work. We only have a few sections left. Granted, considering we haven’t started placing artifacts or scrolls on the shelves in an orderly manner, we still have a ways to go. But I’m actually proud of the progress we’ve made in such a short time.
As we organize the books, he tells me more about his adventure. The highlight was, of course, his visit to Chrysocolla Cove. The way his entire face lit up as he spoke about catching a peek of his sister and her boyfriend warms my heart. His happiness is unlawfully contagious.
I find something about Kai disarming.
Perhaps I can trust him after all.
It’s been nearly a week since Kai’s adventure.
After raving about the mountain air, the dense forests, and Chrysocolla Cove nonstop for several days, he eventually simmered down.
After settling down, some of the light in his hazel eyes faded a bit.
He misses his mortal life more than I can understand.
I meant it when I told him I have no desire to return to the living realm.
The thought of spending time down there makes me grimace.
Too many uninvited memories intrude my mind when I think about my life before death.
I know it’s a bit cowardly of me to run from my own memories, but I can’t bring myself to do otherwise.
I can, however, understand how much he misses his loved ones.
I miss mine, too. I’ve just gotten used to hiding it.
We’ve gotten into a comfortable routine as of late. We work on different parts of the archives during the day, separate for a couple of hours after the workday concludes, and reunite for an evening walk as the sun sets. He likes taking walks—he says walking clears his head.
The more time I spend with him, the more I realize it’s been a while since I had any sort of companionship. Sure, I was close with Stephen for a while, and I do enjoy Nial’s occasional pop-ups, but this is indisputably different.
I’ve grown so used to facing the world alone I’ve forgotten how grounding it feels to have someone to walk beside.
I’ve caught myself smiling more often recently, too. I even effortlessly fell asleep in my own bed last night for the first time in weeks. Rather than reading with the intention of escaping everything, I’ve been reading for pure enjoyment—no ulterior motive.
“—What about you?” he asks unexpectedly as we pass by Celeste’s, the clothing shop. I break out of my stupor and regard him. Ugh. What did I miss?
His jaw drops as he breaks into a smile, crinkling his eyes at me. “Don’t tell me you weren’t listening. I just poured my heart out to you.”
“You’re serious?”
“Oh, absolutely serious.” He smirks, scanning our surroundings. Several angels meander by us, waving at Kai and staring blankly at me as they pass. “I didn’t peg you as a daydreamer.”
“I just got caught up in my own mind. I wasn’t daydreaming.”
He shrugs. “Semantics, really.”
I scowl, craning my neck to eye his expression. “Well, no use in hiding it now. What were we talking about?”
“I asked if you’ve ever been in love.”
Heat rises to my cheeks. “You did? Heavens, we really did get deep…”
He bursts into a boisterous laugh. His laugh is quickly becoming one of my favorite sounds. “Damn straight. I already shared my love story from start to finish. Time for yours.”
I stop dead in my tracks and stand in front of him, holding my hand up and pushing it against his chest. “Okay, I’m not naive. I wouldn’t have zoned out while listening to your relationship history. No chance of that.”
He tilts his head as an even bigger smile creeps on his face. Then, he rests his hands on my waist nonchalantly, as if his touch alone doesn’t make me burn inside.
“Is that so? I didn’t realize you’d be so interested in my past.”
“I’m not. Merely curious for entertainment purposes, that’s all.”
“Don’t worry, angel. The feeling is mutual.”
I want to learn everything about you.
I quirk a brow at him. It’s been a while since his deep voice echoed within my mind… Maybe it was just my imagination.
Flashing me an easy grin, he doesn’t appear remotely fazed.
Yes, I imagined it. I’m positive now.
But why would I imagine him saying that? Get a grip, Cleo.
I abandon my spot in front of him to join his side again, falling into step with him.
As we stroll through the paved marketplace alley, we enter a quaint flower garden lined with tall hedges, sparkling flowers of every kind mixed into the greenery.
Once we pass through the entry, I notice an opal fountain, complete with a statue of angel wings at its center.
Four marble benches surround the tall fountain.
It’s rumored that the benches each represent one of the different Archangels.
We choose one of the sculpted white marble benches and sit next to each other, thighs barely touching.
The stone bench is complete with carved armrests and a small, intricate backrest modeled after—you guessed it—a set of angel wings.
It’s placed below a tree overgrown with white Spanish moss, giving it a frosty, earthy appearance.
“Well, you’ve caught my attention. Let’s hear it,” I say, using my fingers to trace the armrest’s carvings absentmindedly.
He scoffs, leaning back slightly and lifting his head to face the pink starlit sky. He takes a deep breath in, exhaling through his nose as a beam of light illuminates his golden skin.
I can see why Iris compared Kai to the sun.
He and the sun share the same aura.
Noticeably warm, impossibly bright, and seemingly untouchable.
Despite taking after the sun, starlight suits him rather nicely, too.
“I’m an open book.” He drags his eyes down from the sky to glance at me, maintaining a lazy smile. “What do you want to know?”
“Your entire relationship history. Duh.”
“Easy. I dated a lot of girls in my younger years. Like, a lot. Like, an embarrassing amount.” He shakes his head and looks down at his feet.
“Oh, I’m shocked.” I rest my hand over my chest for emphasis. “You’re practically unbearable.”
He rolls his eyes, his lips curling into a smirk.
“But then, a girl named Katherine moved to my hometown during my senior year of high school. She was a bit younger than I was, and we grew close as friends. We eventually became best friends. I still fooled around a bit with other girls throughout college, but I often caught myself wondering what life with Katherine would look like. We started dating her senior year of college and stayed together up until a few weeks before I died.”
“Weeks? Goodness, she must have been devastated,” I remark, continuing to outline the bench’s carvings. Before thinking better of it, an unnecessary question escapes my lips. “Do you think you loved her?”
“Katherine? Yeah, I loved her. How could I have not? With all our history, it would’ve been hard not to.” I stop stroking the armrest, and my chest tightens unexpectedly. Of course, he loved her. Why did I even ask that?
I clear my throat and rest my hands on my lap stiffly, leaning back against the backrest, unsure of what initiated this wave of discomfort.
“Of course,” I say, not knowing what else to say. “That makes sense, logically speaking.”
He eyes me, then lifts his arm to rest on the backrest behind me, hovering near my wings. The warmth of his touch against my feathers sends shivers down my spine. “I was the one to end our relationship before croaking, you know.”
I hate the feeling of relief that washes over me upon hearing that. “Oh. What made you do that?”
“She was ready for the next step. I wasn’t. I let her go.” Our thighs are still touching when he uses his knee to nudge mine intentionally. “Your turn. I’m dying to hear your story.”
I let out a soft scoff.
“Fine. Listen closely—this story will be over before you know it. I’ve been intimate several times during my life.
Stephen was the closest thing I ever had to a boyfriend, and I know, without a doubt, that I didn’t love him.
I’m fortunate in that I’ve never fallen victim to love myself, and no one has expressed loving me in that way.
Stephen may have liked me, but ultimately, I don’t think he would’ve fallen either. ”
His brows furrow, and he looks down at me, all concerned-like. “It’s unfortunate—”
“It isn’t. As I said, it’s quite the opposite.”
“Let me finish, will you?” He narrows his eyes, and a faint smile grows on his lips.
Fair. Clearing my throat, I nod for him to get on with it.
“It’s unfortunate anybody ever took you for granted.” He stares intently into my eyes. “You should be revered.”
“Oh, Kai. Please—”
“No, I’m serious.” I see no trace of humor in his eyes. His fingers stroke my wing tenderly, giving me chills. “If you only knew what others see when they look at you. What I see in you.”
My lips part slightly. "You shouldn't say things like that."
"And yet I meant every word."
He can’t mean that. I’m sure he says stuff like this to others all the time.
Besides, he doesn’t know the real me—what I’ve done.
If he did, he’d see me for what I actually am.
A self-serving coward.