Chapter 28
Twenty-Eight
Kai
"Fine. I’m glad you showed up for Trivia Tuesday this time, Kai,” Jasper drawls while leaning back in a wooden chair near the stage, then takes another swig of his beer.
“Iris has been wanting you to come for months. Where have you been anyway? Baseball can’t be keeping you that busy every single Tuesday night. ”
I pause, feeling a bit lightheaded but attributing my dizziness to the beer in my hand. I glance into his gray eyes. “Bro. How many of these have I had? I’m feeling… off.”
“Um. I haven’t exactly been keeping track of your beer count. Apologies.”
I shake my head and sigh, fixating my gaze on the black sweater he’s wearing. “It’s probably nothing. Anyway, I haven’t been to Trivia Tuesday in a while, because I’ve been a bit wrapped up.”
For some reason, I can’t pinpoint what’s been keeping me away, but I figure it’s not worth it to focus on that. Wouldn’t want Jasper to worry.
“Hey. You okay?” His brows raise in concern when suddenly, a burst of high-pitched, loud laughter I’d recognize anywhere ripples through the air in front of me.
I glance up at the stage to see my sister, Irie, uncontrollably laughing at something. She’s wearing an oversized beige sweater and leggings, her hair pinned up with a vintage-looking claw clip. I bet she got the clip from Aged Emporium.
Jasper gazes up at her reverently, a smile creeping up on his face. “Damn. I love that girl.”
“You better.” I punch his arm jokingly when suddenly, someone wraps their arms around my shoulders. I turn around in alarm and see… her.
Katherine.
“Sorry I’m late! Got caught up at work, some appointments ran long.” She bends down to kiss my cheek and greets Jasper. “What did I miss?”
“Well, Iris is having the time of her life hosting Trivia Tuesday tonight.”
Upon hearing her name, Iris cuts a glance at our little group and crinkles her nose as she grins at us.
“The role definitely suits her.” Katherine settles into the empty seat next to me and rests her hand on my thigh.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
“Are you okay, babe?” she asks, looking into my eyes and tilting her head. She’s confused. Understandably so. I’m confused, too.
“For sure.” I flash her an easy smile. “I think I need to slow down on the beer, though. I’ll go get some water.”
“Don’t take too long—it’s almost our group’s turn.” She smiles warmly, lifting her hand from my thigh.
I approach the bar slowly and try to figure out what the hell is happening. Why does everything feel so… off?
After the bartender gives me a glass of water, I take a seat at the bar and take some time to breathe.
In and out.
Slowly.
“How about we get some fresh air, buddy?” Jasper’s voice interrupts my growing anxiety.
“Actually, yeah. That sounds nice.” I nod. “Also, I’m the one who calls you ‘buddy,’ buddy. Don’t get it twisted.”
I wink, and he sighs exhaustedly as we walk outside the bar.
It feels good tonight—a crispness to the air signals it’s early autumn. The Cove’s weather is perfect right now.
We both lean against his car and stand in the silence. Silence tends to be uncomfortable for me most of the time, but with him, it’s not too bad.
“I’m here if you want to talk, man,” he says. “I know Iris and I have been pretty wrapped up in wedding planning recently, but if there’s anything on your mind, I’m here.”
“Honestly, something doesn’t feel right. It’s kind of like I’m trying to piece together my life because it’s not making sense. Everything is a jumbled mess… I’m sure that sounds crazy.”
He scoffs. “You, Kai Greene, sounding crazy? Never.”
He tosses me a wink, and I gasp. “Hey, winking is my thing, too. What’s gotten into you tonight, bro?”
We both chuckle. “You’ve rubbed off on me, I guess.”
“Figures,” I tease. “But no, really… Am I missing something? I couldn’t have drunk so much tonight that I’d forget when Katherine and I got back together, could I?”
He quirks an eyebrow. “What do you mean, Kai? You have been together for over five years. You broke up for a few months one time, but after your car accident, you rekindled the relationship.”
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
“Oh… Right.” My heart races. I wouldn’t be surprised if I fainted right now. “So, I survived the accident then.”
He cracks a smile and tilts his head, then nods slowly. “Yes. You’re here. In the flesh.”
“Are Katherine and I married?”
His eyes widen. “Dude, you’ve got to slow down on the alcohol at the next Trivia Tuesday. This is downright embarrassing.”
“Are we, Jasper?” My chest tightens. We can’t be married.
“Nope. You told us several times that marriage isn’t in the cards for you.”
Phew. That’s the first thing that’s made sense tonight.
“Although I will say, not all marriages end up like your parents’ marriage. I think you’d make a pretty good husband.”
“Damn, Jasper. Easy, tiger.”
He punches my arm—harder this time—grinning.
“I’m just saying that I doubt any marriage you’d have would end up like theirs. You’re too giving to be like your parents. Iris tells me that all the time.”
I guess I’ve opened up to him about my reservations about marriage before because he is far too comfortable giving me this advice.
But maybe he’s right.
One day, I could get married to her if I stopped running and let go of all the bullshit I watched my parents go through.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
“Stop it,” I whisper firmly and knit my brows. I rub my temples to try to get this pesky little voice out of my head.
“Kai. What’s going on?”
If only I knew, brother.
I take another deep breath, centering myself, glancing up.
Hundreds of stars fill the sky above. I’ve always loved the stars. They’re particularly entrancing tonight. I can’t seem to look away. In fact, I don’t want to look away.
“I find it ironic—you, watching the stars so intently. The stars should be watching you.”
Starlight. The stars remind me of someone.
Someone special.
Then, I see her.
My angel.
“Cleo,” I gasp, clutching my chest as a wave of anxiety threatens to engulf me. Suddenly, I can hardly speak. “W-where is she?”
“I don’t know a Cleo.” Jasper shakes his head and pierces my eyes, his gaze laced with concern. “Who’s she?”
“She’s everything,” I whisper. “Everything.”
I stand up and begin pacing, tugging on my hair erratically.
Where is she? Where am I? What’s happening? I’m supposed to be up there with her. Why am I down here?
“I need to get back. I need to leave right now,” I say frantically.
“Wait,” he says from over my shoulder. I stop pacing. “What if I told you that you could stay here? What if this could be your reality? Would you choose to stay here and continue living your life? You’d have Iris, Katherine, and me to keep you company for the rest of your life.”
“What do you mean? Do you know what really happened, then? That I’m… dead.”
“Yes. See, I’m Jasper in every sense. Except this is an alternate reality.
One in which you survived the accident and chose to get back together with Katherine.
One in which Iris and I happened to meet and plan an Aged Emporium fundraiser without your meddling.
” I can sense the smile in his voice. “This could be your reality, too. If you wanted it to be. You’d wake up right after the accident with no recollection of everything that happened in your afterlife. ”
He makes it seem so simple. Had I been given this opportunity sooner, I would’ve taken it in a heartbeat. Things have changed, though.
What do I want? What do I really want?
My head is spinning as I peer inside the bar’s window to see my sister laughing again. She’s practically radiating.
Then, I realize that this is a version of her I’ve never met.
A version of her who never lost her brother.
A version who met her soulmate all on her own.
A version that never grieved.
I love this carefree version of her. I really do.
But it isn’t the same Irie I said goodbye to months ago.
Likewise, this version of Kai, who sat next to Katherine earlier, is a stranger to me. Those feelings I once had for her are long gone.
I’d love to live the rest of my days with my family by my side. I’ve missed Irie. I’ve missed Jasper. Hell, I’ve missed Truman.
But I’ve got to stop running from my fate.
From love.
I’ve been the gatekeeper of my own heart for too long, and until Cleo, I hadn’t realized how heavy the key to the gate guarding my heart was.
I may need to let go of this life after all.
Living life with Iris, Jasper, and other loved ones from my life before would be quite the experience. I want that.
But I need her.
Ultimately, it’s Cleo or nothing at all.
There is nothing I’ve ever been more certain of.
Suddenly, Jasper’s hand lands on my shoulder from behind. “I may not know her personally, but Cleo seems to mean a lot to you.”
I simply nod in response. He steps into my line of sight, peering into my eyes.
“As long as you’re happy, I’ll support either choice you make.”
I glance at him with tears in my eyes, knowing that regardless of whether this is real for him, this is the last time we’ll lock eyes before we meet again in death one day.
“Thank you, brother. Keep taking care of Irie for me, okay?”
“You have nothing to worry about there.” He grins, then embraces me unexpectedly. “Does this mean you found what you were looking for, brother?”
“She found me.”
Suddenly, the world around me collapses, melting into a sea of colors and shadows. I want to scream, but find that I can’t. My entire body is frozen, subject to whatever comes next.
“Where is she?” I immediately rasp upon awaking, coughing and struggling to catch my breath.
In all my years of life—and afterlife—I’ve never experienced a sensation as overwhelming as that. Everything around me is still blurry, like I’m living in a B-roll scene of a low-budget film. I squint my eyes, attempting to recalibrate my vision.
Where am I? Was that real? What the actual hell is happening?