S I X T E E N
I could do this.
I can do this.
I am a grown woman.
I see hundreds of people every day at work.
I talk to hundreds.
I could do—
“What are you doing?”
I blink and turn.
Standing behind me, wearing that really sexy red and blue flannel and fitted jeans is Charlie. His brown curls are tussled over his forehead with a shit grin on his lips. He’s on the mend and looks all the hotter.
“I’m…” I open my mouth but my words stop.
“We don’t have to go,” he offers.
“We’re going.” I look away, reaching for my top. I stood there in my jeans and bra. I quickly cover myself, feeling self-conscious. “It’s your birthday tomorrow, and we are going out to celebrate you.”
He leans against the door frame, crossing his arms. “I don’t care about all that.”
“I’m fine,” I tell him. “The thing I hate most about going out is not knowing anyone, I know you and Kai and…” I’m rambling. “And I won’t leave on my own again,” I swear.
“Banks.” He demands my attention, those light eyes of his commanding me.
I gruff, reluctantly gazing in his direction .
“I am fine.” I straighten out my shirt, and he twists his finger through the belt loop on my jeans, yanking me toward him. My body stumbling into his with the sheer force of just his finger.
“All I want for my birthday is to be with you, Banks.” He shuts his eyes, pressing his forehead to mine.
“Stop it.”
His eyes open. “What?”
“Being so fucking cute.”
He smirks, and I wrap my arms around his neck. “Girls are going to be all over you.” I look him up and down one more time.
He growls.
I snicker. “You’re hot, Next-Door-Charlie.”
“What do I have to do to prove to you that I only want you?” he glowers.
I shrug. “It will never make sense to me. You’re a real-life made-up man, Charlie Barnes.”
“I have my faults, Bank.” He cups my cheek with his large palm. “I’m not perfect.”
“I know that,” I nod.
“I want to tell Kai,” he bluntly lies on me. “I want to be able to touch and kiss you whenever I want to.”
“Tell him what exactly?” I lift a brow. “Banks + Charlie doesn’t exactly explain anything.”
“I’ll tell him you’re mine.”
“Okay, Man Beast, I think there’s a better way than that.”
“You don’t seem keen on labels, but I have no problem calling you my girlfriend.”
“That’s what you want?”
“I want you,” he says again. “In any capacity. ”
I sigh. “Telling my family means it isn’t just us anymore.”
His eyes grow heavy. “Are you embarrassed?”
“No.”
“I realize I’m not a doctor but—”
I slam my lips into his, silencing that foolish thought. There was never a competition between Charlie and Ryan. Never.
“Don’t you get it?” I whisper against his lips. “You’re the dream guy, Charlie.” I look up through my eyelashes. “I can’t comprehend the fact that you want me yet. If anything, you should be embarrassed of me. I am pudgy and have anxiety and—”
“Stop that,” he bites. “Your body is perfect.”
I inhale. “My point is I think we have more to talk about before we start telling people we’re together.”
“Like what?” he grips. “I want you and I think you want me. What else is there to talk about?”
“The future,” I murmur. “What we want in life and if that aligns. Not to mention what it is that you’re hiding from me.”
Charlie hangs his head with a frown.
“I know you need to tell me in your own time, and I am working on respecting that.” I brush my thumb over his cheek. “But you have to admit there’s a lot we still need to discuss. I won't lie and say I don’t enjoy this stage. I like how things are now but at some point…”
“I get it,” he exhales, saddened. “We don’t tell Kai.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just…”
“I get it,” he says again, giving me a light peck. “We should go, yeah?”
“We’re okay? ”
He gives me one more kiss. “We’ll talk more later,” he says. “Tonight, I just want to be with you. For my birthday.”
I nod.
The night brought us back to where it all began.
Harlem’s.
My brother, already in attendance, had claimed a coveted spot near the bar with a bunch of randoms. I took the first shot I was offered, wanting to take the edge off while Charlie nursed a beer. We kept our distance from one another, which included letting the bar hoppers each make their play for Charlie. Kai wasn’t quiet about it being his birthday, which had every single girl in this place lining up to buy him a drink.
I couldn’t exactly be upset about it, after all, I was the one who said no to telling Kai. Charlie was respectful, as if he’d be anything else, and calmly rejected every advance, but I felt my blood boil with a snippet of jealousy I had yet to experience in my adulthood.
Currently, he is trying to get rid of a curvy blonde who resembles Jessica Simpson from her Daisy Duke days while Kai stands there egging them on.
I tip my drink to my lips and I find it empty, so I rip my eyes away from Charlie and the girl before I burn holes into their skulls.
Nudging my way up to the bar, I wait to be served behind the other women who have a nearly criminal amount of cleavage showing. If I had the confidence to show off my tits like that, I would too. More power to them, but fuck I want another drink.
“Banks.” I turn at the sound of my name and see a familiar tuft of blonde hair .
“Hey, Peter.”
“Haven’t seen you in a while.” He flashes me a grin. Peter is Kai’s friend and fellow tattoo artist.
I shrug.
“Tonight’s Charlie’s birthday?” He nods toward the two of them, still talking to Daisy Duke.
I nod. “You just get here?”
“Yeah. Had a session run late. You want another drink?” He eyes my empty glass.
“If I can get served.”
“I got you.” He winks and then whistles. Suddenly as if he was the owner of the bar, one of the bartenders appeared and took our orders.
“How did you do that?” I ask.
“I’ve done most of his ink,” Peter smirks.
I take a closer look at the bartender now making my vodka soda and see a half sleeve peeking out of his t-shirt.
“Thank you,” I murmur when my new drink is set in front of me.
“Come on, Banks.” Peter throws his arm over my shoulders. “Let’s have fun, you and me.”
I lift a brow at his tone, it’s friendly, and I seriously doubt Peter is hitting on me, but he’s leading me to a pool table and I happen to be pretty good at pool.
“Hey, Chopers.” Peter shakes hands with a skinny man, covered in bright inks as he and his partner just finished a game. “We got next?”
The man nods. “You any good?”
I’m not sure if he’s talking to me or Peter, but Peter laughs and reaches for two poles, handing me one that could be considered a child’s. Not that I am complaining .
“You Pete’s girl?” the partner inquires. He’s not super tall but built. He has sort of a meathead look.
“No.” I shake my head.
“I ain’t seen you here before,” he continues, while Peter and Chopers rack the balls. “I’d remember you. I’m Gator.”
“Banks,” I say. “I don’t get out much.”
“That’s a shame.” He looks over me, drunkenly.
“You break, Banks,” Peter hollers.
I take another sip of my drink before I lean down, glancing at the cue ball before I happen to look just past it.
I find a pair of blue eyes daggering through the crowd.
Next-Door-Charlie.
And he ain’t exactly happy.
I lick my lips and pay attention, wanting a good break. I’m fond of solids myself. I shoot and find his gaze as the balls disperse around the table. His jaw twitches as Daisy rambles in his ear. His brows furrowed and his chin tucked down. He looks almost… scary.
I bite down on my lip as I stand, eyes still connected as I press my thighs together. Charlie looks like he wants to eat me and honestly, I’d let him.
“Nice, Banks!” Peter cheers as I sink two solids and one stripe.
“Call it,” Chopers orders.
“Solids.”
I glance around the table looking for my next shot, finding it, I lean once more and I feel a hand on my hip.
“I didn’t know you were good at pool.” Peter’s head is dangerously close to mine.
“I’m not on the menu tonight, Peter,” I say gently, and he removes his hand .
“Sorry.” He smiles and steps away.
I then sink my ball and move to the other side of the table. I don’t dare look at Charlie and make two more shots before I miss.
“Shit, we should have put some money down if I knew you were this good,” Peter jests and our opponents chuckle.
“Where you been?” Kai appears at Peter’s side.
“That rework was harder than I thought,” he says.
Kai nods. “You winnin’ Banks?” He tips his nose at me.
I shrug in response, grabbing my drink as Gator misses, and it’s now Peter’s turn.
“Where’s Charlie?” I ask Kai.
“I don’t know,” he replies. “Probably went somewhere with that blonde.”
I grind my teeth together, but my brother doesn’t notice. I do a sweep of the bar and I don’t see him anywhere, or Daisy Duke. I try to stop myself from thinking the worst, this is Charlie. He would never do that.
“I’m going to get another drink,” I announce, purposely downing mine. “You take my turn if it comes.” I shove the pole at my brother and slip into the crowd of bodies before they can stop me. Only I’m not headed to the bar, but rather to the bathrooms.
Down a dark hallway that is maybe thirty feet long are the restrooms and the back door that leads to the alley. The line is short, maybe two girls deep as I wait my turn. I shouldn’t pee, once I do, I’ll never stop, but I needed some space.
The music is lower in the bathroom but still perfectly auditable. It’s lit with a pink hue and decently clean with two stalls. When it’s my turn to slide into one I do so with no reservations, unbuttoning my jeans and squatting. I hear the click of heels and boots as others fight over mirror space.
“… he turned me down,” one whines.
“Seriously?”
“You’re hot as fuck tonight.” A third.
I flush and yank my jeans back up. I would rather bang my head against a wall than listen to more gossip.
“Said he’s got a girl,” the first replies. “Even pointed her out.”
“Why wasn’t she with him?”
“I don’t know, she was all over some guy at the pool table.”
I threw open the stall door and none other than Daisy and the rest of the ducks stood there, reapplying their lip gloss. None of them notice, while I walk to the far end, almost having to shove one of them out of the way to get to the sink when she ignored my polite ask to move.
“Watch it,” she hisses.
“Maybe you shouldn’t stand in front of the only sink,” I hiss back.
“What’s your problem?” she snaps and Daisy looks at me.
“I don’t have a problem. I was just trying to wash my hands.”
“You’re that girl.” Daisy cocks a hip out.
“Nope,” I mutter, grabbing some paper towels.
“She’s the girl he turned me down for.”
“This granny bitch?” The second curls her lip.
In these moments, I think ‘Where the fuck is Perry?’
“He wants to fuck you?” the third giggles.
“Tell me what’s your secret,” Daisy tries to intimidate me with her height. “Asian pussy tighter than ours or something?” Her red eyes drag down my body. “Not by the looks of your fat ass.”
Words burn at the edge of my mouth, but I say nothing, only listening to the of their laughter as I walk out of the bathroom, barreling into another body by accident.
“I’m sor—”
“Banks?”
His arms steady me.
Charlie.
I peer up at him, angry and very hot when I shove him into the wall.
“What are you—”
I force his neck to bend down to me as I slam my lips against his. He kisses me back, but I yank away the moment I hear their boots, looking over my shoulder at them with a smug twinkle in my eye. I raise my middle finger before I pull Charlie toward the back door and thrust him out into the cold.
“What the—”
“Take me to the truck,” I silence him, the condensation of my breath swirling around us. “Now.”
Charlie looks at me hard before taking my hand and jogging down the alley to where his truck is parked.
He unlocks the door and lifts me into the cab. I’m already ripping my top off by the time he gets in with me, unbuttoning his flannel. I unzip my jeans, pushing them down my hips, taking my underwear with them. I climb on top of Charlie, crushing my mouth to his.
“Banks,” he says between kisses. “People can see you,” he tries to cover my back with his hands.
“Not if we fog the windows,” I say .
“What’s gotten into you?” A chuckle settles in his throat.
“I want you,” I moan, grabbing at the waistband of his jeans, my core already hot and wet above him. “Right now.”
He’s hard, just waiting for me to unzip the denim.
“Take my bra off,” I whimper, trying to undo his jeans while fully sitting on him.
“There is no way I’m letting you be seen,” he replies, tugging my lip between his teeth.
“Charlie,” I grunt, wanting to feel his skin on mine.
His hands leave my back, one stopping at my hip while the other dips between my legs, dragging up and down my slit, coating his fingers before he begins to rub over my clit. I cry out into his mouth, rocking my hips against his fingers.
“You know what it does to me that you get like this?” he rasps into my ear. “So wet and sweet just for me, Banks. Say it. Say it’s for me.”
“Just for you,” I whimper as one of his fingers plunges inside me.
“Why would I ever want anyone else when this is mine?” he husks. “Your perfect pussy. Made just for me. No one will fit you just like I do.”
“Charlie,” I cry. “Please.”
I’m still sitting on top of his jeans, probably leaving a wet spot as he fucks me with his fingers.
“I want my cake later,” he nips at my neck as I pull on his hair.
“Fuck me,” I grunt, needing more than his fingers.
He chuckles against my skin before reaching into his pocket, he takes a condom from his wallet, handing it to me before lifting his hips. I duck my head, so I don’t smash it into the roof of the truck while he shimmies his jeans down. I open the packet with my teeth, and he quickly takes it from me, rolls it on, and guides my hips over him. I want to slam myself down, but he holds me there, his head just brushing my folds till I’m where he wants me, and he thrusts up. Letting my body fall, my mouth descends on his while he fucks me from below.
“Don’t stop,” I beg.
He makes me feel weightless as he continues, rolling my hips with his palms.
“I made you a monster,” he husks, licking my neck. “Fucking hungry for it. Always.”
“Shut up,” I pull his hair twisting his neck as he devilishly smirks at me. “Why are you so… damn… dirty?”
“You don’t like it?”
He slams me down on him, now lifting me over him rather than thrusting up. Shaking my entire body every time.
“I think you like it when I talk dirty to you, Banks,” he continues, his voice becoming shaky. “I want to talk dirty to you. I want to tell you all the filthy things I think.”
I slap my hand over his lips as my orgasm rips through me. I coax his as my body squeezes tightly around him. Charlie knocks his head back as he finishes.
I inhale deeply, pushing his hair from his eyes and leaning into him. “I do like it when you talk dirty,” I confess. “It’s just so…”
He pants with glossy eyes. “So what?”
“Not you,” I murmur. “I didn’t think you’d talk like that in bed.”
“Well.” He gives me a soft kiss. “Your books have given me lots of ideas.” He wiggles a brow at me.
“You… ”
“I’m kidding,” he laughs as I abruptly climb off him, reaching for my jeans. I glance around seeing the windows thoroughly fogged. We’re in a hot box of his truck and part of me wants to just go home, but we can’t leave my brother.
“Have you been reading them for this?” I have to know. “So you could fuck me like the made-up men?”
Charlie lifts his hips, pulling his jeans back on after disposing of the condom.
“I was kidding, Banks.”
His eyes painfully narrow.
“I read the books because you like them. I wanted to be able to have something in common with you. It wasn’t research for the day you might let me fuck you.”
“Shit,” I breathe, forgetting about my zipper and bringing my head to my knees. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—”
“Why are you always questioning this?” he irately grunts. “Why is it so hard for you to get that I want you, Banks?”
I lift my head and see the frustration on his face. He wipes a sheen from his forehead with a clenched fist.
“I can’t even fuck you right? Is that it?”
“No. I just… I…”
He zips his pants and starts to button his shirt. “That’s all me,” he grimaces. “I talk dirty. I always have. Who I am doesn’t mean I don’t have particular tastes when it comes to sex. You see me as a ball of fucking sunshine and I want to be that for you, but sometimes I’m bad and dark and I want to fuck dirty. I’m not a guy on the page, and I am not using them to try and please you. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe we are just that fucking compatible? That our sex would be this fucking good even if I never picked up one of those fucking books? That I am capable of pleasing you all on my own?”
I sit there with my jaw dropped as he huskily growls at me.
“Our bodies are like two puzzle pieces, perfectly cut for the other. I don’t know how else to explain to you that you are everything I have ever wanted .” He clenches another fist. “Your doubt is keeping you from me. From letting us have this.”
“Ch–Charlie,” I choke.
He looks at me with a harshness I’ve never seen from his eyes. “You are the only person who puts me on some pedestal that I have no fucking business being on. It will always be me who doesn’t deserve you but I want you. I want you so much it fucking hurts and when I think I have you, you aren’t here, Banks. You’re off somewhere in your head convincing yourself that you’re too this or that to be worthy of me. Of a relationship.”
I’m frozen as he reaches for the door, stepping out, letting the cold mix with the steam from the cabin.
“I want to be everything you think I am, Banks,” he grips. “But how can I, when I’m constantly convincing you that I’m in love with you? Convincing you that you’re enough? I just want to be with you. I want to love you. Why’d you pull me out here, huh?” he seethes. “Because those girls said something to you? Made you feel like you were less than? Were you using sex to prove that you weren’t? That you could fuck me and somehow one-up them?”
I’m screaming no, but I can’t get the words out.
“You made this about something other than us.” He bites his cheek. “I don’t want to have sex with you to prove a point. I want it to be because you crave that closeness. Because we care about one another. Pleasure has its place and I won't lie and say I don’t want just want to fuck sometimes. I do. But not like that. Not with you. Not when you decided to make our connection about something other than us. I might not be worth much, but I’m better than that. And so are you.”
“Charlie—”
“Go home, Banks.” He turns his head. “Take the truck and go.” He tosses the keys on the seat and shuts the door in my face.
I sink into the cushion, his name strangling in my throat as my cheeks burn with the tears that inevitably fall.