33
Inside Leo's bedroom was a window nook, encased entirely of decorated glass and filled with plush blankets and fluffy pillows. Normally, this was Leo's reading nook; a place to curl up with a book while the raindrops pelted the glass. Tonight, it was to watch the stars.
After Quark and Pulse cleaned themselves up, Leo told them to not bother dressing again, not for the plans she had for the night.
First, they were to all sit in this nook, using Pulse as the main pillow, all while sipping tea and unwinding and reacquainting themselves.
This time, Leo felt she could be open about herself. Her true self. Along with her hopes and aspirations, she shared her fears and her past, her trauma, her honest and unfiltered self.
For the first time, she felt she was still loved the same.
Each of them had a cup of Earl Gray, while Quark and Leo led the conversation. Pulse was a willing observer.
“How long have you been studying stars, then?” Quark asked.
“I was 23 when I finally got into college, so five years now.”
“How much would that be in our time?”
"Oh hell, I don't know if I can say that with any certainty."
Leo took a sip, spreading her bare legs over Pulse's lap.
"Gravity, from the way I learned, gets to determine the flow of time. That has been a very tricky thing for NASA to conclude on. We have the math for it, but then again, the farthest we've ever been was the moon, and who's to say that's the definitive answer?"
“How far is your moon then?”
"About a three-day trip."
"Three days?"
“Compared to going anywhere else, anything beyond Mars is light years away.”
“Light years?”
It went on like this through the night. Pulse watched and listened contently, watching how Quark's curiosity and wonder would twinkle in his eyes. Leo would make some risque jokes here and there, catching him off guard every time and causing the desired response.
And there was Pulse, quiet, and loving every passing moment, with one in each arm, under the stars...
There was a point when Pulse became distracted with thoughts about the Choir. Questions as to how they are, how they're managing—If Black Star would understand the choice they made.
It wasn't a matter of regret, it was something else.
A little shadow, tucked in the corner of their body, nibbling with words they refused to pay attention to, but could not negate the sensation if brought.
Something that was, so far, heavy as a pebble.
Pulse felt if they ignored the words long enough, it'd either go away, or the pebble would turn into a mountain.
"Hey, Pulse?" Leo was unaware of their forlorn dream, "could you sing me a song?"
“A song, huh?”
"You said before you were the lead of the Cosmic Choir, and I got to hear the warm-up, but I want a performance. Well, before the performance."
Pulse had to ignore the last comment to keep their cool. "Well, of course. Any requests?"
“Your song!” Quark chimed in. “Please, it seems like ages since I got to listen to it last.”
“I don't know, that one might be a little–”
“Please? It's my favorite one.”
Fuck, it was impossible to say no to those glowing, pleading eyes. “Alright, Alright, but not because you're cute.”
'Exactly because you're so cute.'
Singing their song this time was desolate. There was no universal orchestra to accompany Pulse. For the first time, Pulse realized how removed the three of them were from the world around them. Not hearing the strings, the winds, the brass, the synths and the opera supporting them was uncanny.
Leo and Quark, however, were still as captivated and spellbound as ever. Quark rested his ear on their chest, looking up, hearing the music at its source, while Leo had her eyes closed, soaking in the harmony like a hot bath.
Even without the Choir, Pulse still had their audience.
“Fuck,” Leo gasped as Pulse drawled the last note, “That was–That was beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“Don't thank me, because that's not even a good descriptor for that performance. When I find a better word, I'll tell you. But for now—”
“It's okay Leo, it'll do.” Pulse kissed the top of her head, also doing the same for Quark, to keep the balance in place.
“You two are just–” Leo struggled for the right word once more, but settled for four instead. “I love you two.”
“And we love you, Leo.” Quark sipped at his tea, enjoying the taste considerably more than the mead.
Leo held up the dainty teacup, pinkie in the air. "To us, the most beautiful threesome that has ever existed."
“Cheers!”
Leo spent the better of her life chasing stars.
As a child, she loved looking through binoculars at the moon, and thinking, even back then, that she didn't care for the moon.
No one had much hope, in her generation, to reach infinity in their lifetime.
The wonder and magic of space worn out its welcome for many, while they all scattered in the mundane, self-absorbed in mediocrity.
At times, Leo doubted she could ever reach those stars.
To get away from the isolation of society.
Thinking back, Ruin was that first glimpse into the possible back when he held his true name. When there was affection between them, she could almost picture something vast and omnipresent.
It wasn't until she met Quark and Pulse she had infinity contextualized.
It was almost infuriatingly simple. The empty place between her planet and the rest of the galaxy was small.
Now the stars were here, before her eyes, singing the most lovely songs and engaging in conversation, not just waiting to respond, but engaging in ways that made her feel different.
It made her feel loved.
She gazed at her stars, for the stars in the sky were no longer important.
This was her forever now, and she'll be damned if anyone takes them from her.