44. I Block Lucas’s Number
I BLOCK LUCAS’S NUMBER
BEFORE
Ihold my breath until the moment the airline accepts my credit card. It’s a last-minute fare to Shanghai, and I’m sure it costs the earth. But for the first time in years, I didn’t bother asking what the price was. Either it was under my credit limit or it wasn’t.
But the little chime tells me that my payment has been accepted, and I’m handed a thin boarding pass.
Given I’m not supposed to go to Shanghai for another week (because the original plan was that I would fly back to Pasadena with the rest of the team, that I’d have a few last days to find a way to break the news to Lucas), I’m not actually sure where I’ll stay either.
A gurgle of hysterical laughter breaks out just as Brody texts me.
brODY: Are you okay?
brODY: Lucas is not okay.
brODY: I mean he will be okay, so don’t worry.
brODY: Where are you?
brODY: I mean, I can see you’re at the airport.
brODY: But like . . .
ME: Tell Prof. Miller I had to go to Shanghai.
ME: Don’t worry.
I’ve barely hit send when Lucas’s name appears on my screen.
I set his profile pic to a selfie I took of just the two of us, in my dorm room.
No particular occasion, just a candid shot taken at the end of a study session that I liked because of how goofy he looked, my serious Lucas, smiling up at me as if I’m his whole world.
I decline the call, and when it rings again, I block his number.
I can’t run forever.
I just need to run long enough for Lucas to give up.