Chapter 12
Gabriel
I sit on the edge of my bed, staring at the wall, my head still out on the terrace, replaying what I just did. I drop my face into my palms, dragging them down until my skin pulls, hoping the sting might clear my head, but it doesn’t.
My phone vibrates on the nightstand. I glance at it, my stomach sinking when I see Audrey’s name on the screen. A FaceTime call. Perfect timing, universe. Just perfect.
I could ignore it, let it go to voicemail, and text her later with some excuse. But Audrey’s the persistent type, and she’d just keep calling until I answered. Plus, she’s my sister. Even if things are complicated with Marshall right now, I don’t want to hurt her feelings.
I wipe my palm on my pants, take a deep breath, and hit accept.
“Hey, Peanut,” I say as her face appears on the screen.
“G!” Her smile is wide, freckles more prominent across her nose from the summer sun.
Her hair is twisted up in a messy bun, a few strands falling around her face.
At sixteen, she’s growing out of her awkward phase but still has that teenage lankiness that makes her look like a colt finding its legs. “How’s Italy?”
I swallow, forcing myself to smile. “It’s good. I’ve mostly been working, though.”
“But you’re not stuck at the house all day, are you? You’ve got to be getting out sometimes.”
“Yeah. Marshall and I went into Como a few nights ago.” The words are out before I can think better of them, and the memory of that night flashes through my mind.
“Ugh, I love Como. Please tell me you got gelato.”
“We didn’t, but I promise I’ll take you, and we’ll stuff our faces.”
“Yay! Sounds awesome. How’s Marshall, by the way? Dad says he’s working on the garden.”
My throat tightens. “He’s… good. The garden’s coming along.”
“I bet he’s got an awesome tan by now. He always gets so dark when he’s outside all day.”
I choke a little. “Yeah. He’s pretty tan.” He’s also got callused hands and a hard-on that could cut glass, and he tasted like salt and skin when I went down on him. I clear my throat. “What’s new with you? Did you get your learner’s permit?”
Audrey rolls her eyes dramatically. “Yes, but Dad won’t let me drive the Range Rover. It’s so unfair.”
“He said you backed into a mailbox.”
“One mailbox,” she says, holding up a finger. “One time. And it wasn’t even a nice mailbox. It was all rusty.”
I laugh despite myself. “Good luck persuading Dad to let you take his favorite car again.”
“I’ll just have to buy my own,” she says with the casual confidence of someone who’s never had to worry about money. Not that I blame her for that. It’s how we were all raised.
“How’s your summer job going? The ice cream shop, right?”
“It’s going,” she says, dropping the dramatics for a moment. “I made a hundred and twelve dollars in tips today. The other girls were so jealous.”
I smile. It’s not about the money. Our family has plenty of that.
It’s the principle. Dad and Claire are big on Audrey learning to make her own way, to understand the value of work and money, even if she’ll never actually need to worry about either.
It’s a lesson I appreciate now, even if I rolled my eyes at it when I was her age.
“That’s awesome, Peanut. What are you going to buy with all that cash?”
“I’m saving up for the Italy trip,” she says, her face lighting up again. “I can’t wait to come there. It’s going to be so cool to have both my brothers together for a family vacation. We haven’t all been in the same place for, like, forever.”
The words stop me cold. Both her brothers. A family vacation. The reality of what I’ve been doing comes back, worse than before. What have I done? Marshall is my stepbrother. We share Audrey. Our parents are married. This isn’t just crossing a line. It’s obliterating it.
I’m so caught up in the spiral of my thoughts that I miss Audrey’s next question. Her face is expectant on the screen, waiting for my response to whatever she just said.
“Sorry, what?”
She rolls her eyes again, but she’s smiling. “I said, where’s Marshall? I want to say hi to him too.”
My heart sinks.
“He’s… around. Probably in his room or something.”
“Go find him!” Audrey says. “I want to see you both.”
I don’t want to see Marshall right now. I don’t want to look at his face and remember how it contorted when he came in my mouth, how his hands gripped my hair, how he called me baby.
But what am I supposed to tell Audrey? Sorry, can’t do that, I just sucked your brother’s dick and now things are awkward?
“Uh, sure. Hang on.”
I stand up, my legs still a little shaky, and head for the door. I could go through the connecting bathroom, which would be faster, but that’d be too intimate right now and a little weird. Instead, I step into the hallway and walk the few feet to his door.
I rap my knuckles against the wood, three sharp taps.
It swings open almost immediately, and Marshall’s eyes widen when he sees me.
“Gabriel,” he starts. “I—”
“Audrey wants to talk to you,” I shove my phone toward his face before he can say anything else. “She’s on FaceTime.”
Marshall blinks, then his entire demeanor changes. His face softens, a smile spreading across it as he takes the phone from my hand. “Hey, Brat,” he says, his voice warming. “How’s my favorite sister?”
I stand awkwardly in the doorway as Marshall turns and walks back into his room. He sits down on the edge of his bed, completely focused on the screen, laughing at something Audrey is saying.
Then he looks up, sees me still standing in the doorway, and gestures for me to come in, patting the space beside him on the bed. “Audrey wants to see both of us,” he explains.
My stomach tightens. Of course, she does. Why make this easy?
I sit down next to him, careful to leave a few inches between us. It’s not enough. I can feel the heat of him, smell the clean scent of his soap. My shoulder blades itch with the awareness of his body next to mine.
“There you are!” Audrey’s voice chirps from the phone. Marshall holds it out so we’re both in frame, our faces uncomfortably close together on the small screen. “Now I can see both my favorite brothers.”
“We’re your only brothers,” I point out, forcing a smile.
“Exactly,” she says with a grin. “So you’re automatically my favorites.”
We take turns responding to her chatter about the trip, about all the things she wants the three of us to do once she’s finally here. Marshall is better at it than I am, his responses natural and engaged while I struggle to form complete sentences.
Suddenly, Audrey’s face changes. Her head tilts, eyes narrowing as she studies us through the screen. “Why do you guys look so tense?”
My cheeks heat up instantly. I glance at Marshall out of the corner of my eye and see a flush spreading across his face too.
“We’re not tense,” I say, too quickly.
“We’re just tired,” Marshall adds. “It’s been a long day.”
Audrey doesn’t look convinced. “You guys are getting along, aren’t you? You haven’t spent much time together in years, and I was hoping…”
Her voice trails off, worry creeping into her expression, and something in my chest cracks. She’s just a kid. She wants her brothers to get along. She has no idea what’s really going on.
“We’re getting along great,” Marshall says firmly, his shoulder pressing against mine in what’s probably meant to be a reassuring gesture. It feels like a brand through my shirt. “Right, Gabriel?”
“Right,” I echo, my voice hollow. “Everything’s fine.”
Audrey studies us for another moment, then her face relaxes. “Good. Because I’m really looking forward to seeing you both. It’s going to be the best vacation ever.”
We chat for a few more minutes, the conversation mercifully shifting to safer topics. When we finally say goodbye, Audrey blows kisses at the screen and makes us promise to save all the good stuff for when she’s here.
“We will,” Marshall assures her. “Love you, brat.”
“Love you too,” she says, and then the call ends.
I throw my phone onto Marshall’s bed and bury my face in my hands, letting out an exasperated breath. “That was so uncomfortable.”
“Yeah,” Marshall agrees. “It was.”
I drop my hands and look at him. “What happened between us can’t happen again. We can’t do this to Audrey. Or to our parents. It’s…”
“Wrong,” Marshall finishes for me. “Yeah, I know.”
He says it so simply that for a second I can’t respond. I was expecting… I don’t know what I was expecting. An argument, maybe. A plea. Not this calm acceptance.
“Good,” I say finally. “Then we’re agreed.”
He nods. “We’re agreed.”
There. It’s settled. We’re on the same page. Whatever madness took hold of us, it’s over. We can go back to avoiding each other as much as possible.
It’s the right call. The only call. I grab my phone off his bed and go before either of us can say anything else.