Chapter 18 #2
Mom stands up from her chair and crosses to us, and I barely have time to process it before she’s pulling both Gabriel and me into a hug. Her arms wrap around our shoulders, holding us tight, and I feel something in my chest crack open.
“Oh, honey,” she says, her voice thick. “Of course we’re not mad.”
Audrey is up a second later, throwing herself at us from the other side, and suddenly we’re in a tangle of arms and warmth, and I can’t quite process what’s happening.
When we finally break apart, I look at Philip. He’s still seated, but he’s smiling, and there’s something gentle in his expression that tightens my throat.
“But,” I hear myself say. “Aren’t you supposed to be shocked? Tell us it’s wrong?”
Philip frowns. “What could be wrong about two consenting adults, not related by blood, liking each other?”
Mom sits back down but reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. “Besides, we… kind of suspected you boys might like each other more than just stepbrothers. We have for a while now.”
“You what?” Gabriel and I ask at the same time.
Even Audrey looks confused. “What do you mean?”
Mom’s smile turns knowing. “Well, the first hint came from you, actually,” she tells Audrey.
Gabriel and I turn to look at our half-sister, who looks just as baffled as we feel. “Me?” she asks.
“Yes, you, honey. I’d rather show you,” Mom says. She stands again and heads toward the house. “I have it with me.”
The three of us exchange confused looks. Gabriel’s hand is still in mine, and I realize we haven’t let go since we first reached for each other. I’m not planning to, either.
“Do you know what she’s talking about?” Gabriel asks Philip.
Philip’s smile widens slightly. “I have an idea.”
Mom is gone for several minutes. When she returns, she’s holding a folded piece of paper, the edges worn and soft like it’s been handled many times. She crosses to us and holds it out.
“When Audrey turned five or six,” Mom says as Gabriel and I unfold the paper together, “she started drawing pictures of our family. And she often drew it this way.”
The paper opens, and I stare down at it, my breath catching.
It’s a crayon drawing, the kind a child makes with thick lines and bright colors. I recognize our family immediately. Mom and Philip in the center. Little Audrey between them, holding their hands. And off to the side, two more figures.
By the darker brown hair, I recognize Gabriel. By the lighter hair, I recognize myself.
We’re holding hands. And above our heads, drawn in bright pink crayon, is a big heart.
I stare at the drawing, at the way child-Audrey drew us together. My eyes are stinging, and I blink hard, trying to clear them.
Gabriel makes a small, choked sound beside me, and when I glance at him, his eyes are suspiciously shiny too.
“Audrey drew us like this?” His voice is barely above a whisper.
Mom nods. “She has quite a few drawings like this one. I hid them because I didn’t want to make you boys uncomfortable, but I kept them.” She looks at Audrey. “You don’t remember?”
Audrey shakes her head, staring at the drawing with wide eyes.
I can’t stop looking at it. At the two crayon figures holding hands, at the heart above our heads. Even as a child, Audrey saw something between us that we were both too scared to acknowledge.
A tear slides down my cheek before I can stop it. I swipe at it roughly, but Gabriel sees. He sees, and he leans into me, his shoulder pressing against mine, and I realize his cheeks are wet too.
Mom reaches out and covers both our hands with hers. “We’re happy for you. Both of you. We just want you to be happy.”
Audrey is up again, wrapping her arms around both of us, and this time when I hug her back, I let myself feel all of it. The relief and the joy and the gratitude that our family loves us enough to accept this.
The evening continues, lighter now that the weight of the secret is gone.
We finish dinner, clear the plates, and sit together on the terrace as the stars come out.
Audrey asks a million questions about how we got together, and Gabriel and I take turns answering, carefully editing out the explicit parts.
Mom and Philip share stories about noticing the way we avoided each other at family gatherings, the distance we maintained, and how they wondered if maybe there was something more underneath it.
By the time everyone starts yawning, it’s late. Mom and Philip head upstairs to their room, and Audrey follows after hugging us both one more time. Gabriel and I are left alone on the terrace, the night air warm around us, and for a moment we just stand there in silence.
I move closer to him and wrap my arms around his waist from behind, pulling him back against my chest. He relaxes into me, his hands coming up to cover mine.
“How are you?” I murmur against his ear.
Gabriel turns in my arms so we’re facing each other. His eyes are soft, warm, and when he smiles, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“I’ve never felt better in my life,” he says.
I lean down and kiss him. It’s not heated or desperate like so many of our kisses have been. It’s slow and deep and full of everything I feel for him, everything I’ve felt for years and was too scared to name.
When I pull back, I keep my lips close to his.
“I love you,” I murmur against his mouth.
Gabriel makes a rough sound in the back of his throat and kisses me again. This kiss is harder, hungrier, his hands fisting in my shirt and pulling me closer. When he finally breaks away, we’re both breathing hard.
“I love you too,” he whispers against my lips, and then pulls back just enough to look me in the eyes. “I can’t believe how much time we wasted with the wrong people before getting here.”
I tighten my arms around him, holding him close. “At least now we have forever.”
Gabriel’s smile is blinding. He reaches up and cups my face, his thumb brushing across my cheekbone, and then he kisses me again.
Forever. We have forever.
And I’m not going to waste another second of it.