Chapter 15 #2
It was the right words, but the tone was way off, and the smile never reached her eyes.
And the warmth that had been there when Maddy first came back inside was a degree cooler.
Maddy stood in the middle of the best news of her life with no clue what Aspen was possibly not understanding about what she was saying.
She ran back through the last twenty seconds for the part she’d skipped that was causing a disconnect. She found nothing. Her hands that had been waving through the air as she spoke dropped to her sides.
“Thanks,” she said, slower now.
Aspen cleared her throat. “I called the shop while you were outside.” She pushed up off the bed, reaching for her shoes, and the softness that had been in her voice was replaced with something brisk and useful. “Car will be ready in thirty.”
“Oh. Okay. Good.” She wanted to ask if Aspen had heard her. If she had understood what Maddy had just said.
But Aspen was already walking towards the stairway. “I’m gonna go check in with Doreen about giving us a ride.”
Aspen disappeared down the stairs, and Maddy heard the door at the bottom open, then click shut.
Maddy stood alone in the center of the room, with her phone in hand and no pants on. What the fuck just happened?
She crossed to where her jeans were folded over the chair and started pulling herself back together, folding the borrowed alien shirt and setting it on the foot of the bed next to Aspen’s.
Her eyes drifted up the bed for a moment. The bed where she had been thoroughly debauched the night before and still tangled up naked with Aspen just forty minutes ago. It felt like a stark contrast to the energy in the room now.
She did a visual sweep of the room, making sure they weren’t leaving anything behind, then descended the stairs.
* * *
Ninety minutes back to Coronado, and in the first forty, Aspen had said nine words to her. Maddy had counted.
Seven of them were about the exits she needed to take. The other two were the “go ahead,” she offered when they reached for the volume dial at the same time.
Maddy had the contract open on her phone. She’d read the first paragraph eight times and retained nothing. She should have still been riding the high she’d been on two hours ago. Instead, she was sitting in a car that had gone cold and quiet and strange, and she could not work out why.
She stole another glance across the console.
Aspen’s thumb was drumming on the wheel.
And it absolutely did not match the tempo of the slow acoustic song playing on the radio.
The same steady tuneless tap she had whenever she was anxious.
Her teeth were chewing the inside of her cheek, and her eyes hadn’t come off the road once since they pulled out of the shop.
It was driving Maddy insane.
For one brief second, she wondered if all of it, the whole I like you, I wanted to go on a date with you speech, had been about getting Maddy into bed, and now that Aspen had gotten it out of her system, she wanted to pretend it had never happened.
Two days ago, she’d have bought that story without blinking.
Written the whole night up as a transaction and felt smug about catching it before it cost her anything.
But she’d been there last night. You couldn’t fake what happened in that bed, and whatever was behind that tuneless little thumb, Aspen had felt it too. Maddy was sure of it.
So, no. Not that.
Whatever was eating at Aspen, Maddy was determined not to let it ruin this moment for her. She’d just gotten the best news of her career, and she intended to stay happy about it, regardless of what was happening in the driver’s seat. She looked back down and read the paragraph a ninth time.
The thumb kept drumming.
Maddy finally snapped. “Okay, what’s your deal?”
Aspen’s head whipped towards her, eyes wide. “What?”
“You’ve been acting weird all morning. You won’t look at me, won’t talk to me.” Maddy turned in her seat, the belt cutting across her chest. “Do you regret last night?”
“No! No, of course not.” Both of Aspen’s hands tightened on the wheel.
“Well, you’re not acting like it. If you were just saying all that stuff last night—”
“Maddy, stop. No.” Aspen’s eyes cut to her and back to the road. “I swear to you I meant everything I said last night, and last night was…incredible. Trust me, I have zero regrets about that.”
Okay. So it wasn’t regret. That should have loosened the knot in Maddy’s chest, and for half a second it did, and then it didn’t, because if it wasn’t regret, then what the hell was it?
Maddy searched her face. “Okay…then what?”
Aspen hesitated, taking her time. “It’s just—I—” She closed her eyes briefly and took a breath in before pushing the words out in one quick breath. “I don’t want what happened last night to be a one-time thing.”
Maddy almost laughed. “You have a strange way of showing it.”
Aspen let out a long, exasperated breath through her nose.
“I mean… I want… more. But your call this morning was just a reminder that you’re leaving in nine days, and I don’t know if that’s the last time I’m going to see you, and I don’t know if I can handle this becoming more than a one-time thing and then getting ripped away and pretending like it never happened. ”
Oh. That was not what she was expecting.
Maddy nodded slowly, taking in what Aspen was saying. She really hadn’t thought that far ahead. She hadn’t thought at all beyond the immediate desire to get back into a bed with Aspen as soon as humanly possible, and her excitement about the promotion.
And the two things had felt very separate in her mind. Apparently, they were not so separate in Aspen’s mind.
She looked at Aspen again, at the nerves written all over her face, the thumb drumming on the steering wheel; she could practically hear Aspen’s heart pounding from across the car.
God she’s attractive. Not a helpful thought at the moment. But true nonetheless.
Maddy hadn’t intended to just disappear again when she went back to LA.
She’d rebuilt a real friendship with Jake. She was still hoping to get a chance to repair things with Noa, if Noa would speak to her. And some part of her had actually enjoyed being back. She was even looking forward to the Cup.
No, she hadn’t consciously thought about what would happen at the end of her six weeks when she went back to LA, but she realized at that moment that she wasn’t counting down the days until she left anymore.
It didn’t change the fact that she was thrilled about her promotion and getting back to work, but now that Maddy was thinking about what would happen when that time came, she really couldn’t imagine cutting ties with everyone and disappearing again.
She wanted to keep in touch this time. She wanted to come back to visit. She didn’t know where that left her and Aspen; she didn’t even know what this was.
“Aspen…” She waited until Aspen glanced over at her. “I don’t want to pretend like this didn’t happen. I’m not going to go incommunicado again when I leave. It’s been… nicer than I expected to be back. And last night was really nice…” She felt the smile take over her face.
Aspen glanced over at her, a tiny quirk pulling at her lips.
“And I’d like for it to keep being nice. And just… see what happens. I’m not going to make any promises I can’t keep. I am leaving, but I don’t have to be back until the fifteenth, so why don’t we just enjoy each other’s company in the meantime and see where things land?”
Aspen was nodding, small light nods, eyes back on the road, and she still hadn’t said anything. Maybe that wasn’t what she wanted. Maddy’s stomach dipped. “If…that’s what you want,” she added.
“Yes,” Aspen said immediately.
And Maddy laughed, relief washing through her. Aspen laughed then, too.
After a moment, Aspen looked over at her with an adorable little smirk. “So…you thought last night was… just nice?”
Maddy blinked at her. “Are you seriously fishing for compliments about how well you fucked me right now?”
Aspen’s grin grew.
“What do you want me to say? That it was mind-blowing? Earth-shattering? The best sex of my life?” Maddy asked incredulously.
Aspen shrugged and nodded at the same time.
“Oh my God, you’re ridiculous.” Maddy rested her elbow on the passenger window and bit down on her index finger to hide her smile.
“It was though, wasn’t it?” Aspen’s smug grin took over her whole face.
Maddy lost the fight to her own smile and shook her head as she looked out the window, refusing to answer.
“Ahhh, I knew it.” Aspen teased, reaching over and squeezing Maddy’s thigh.
Maddy laughed and lifted Aspen’s hand from her thigh, then intertwined their fingers. It felt strange, but again, really nice.