Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
The walk from the beach to Bunny’s was half a block, and neither of them said a word for any of it.
Maddy had not held anyone’s hand down a public street since high school.
And yet here she was, sand in her shoes, fireworks still cracking over the water behind them, walking hand-in-hand with Aspen St. Claire up the dark street to her mother’s house with her mind already made up about where this night was going.
She had decided it while she was still out on the kayak.
And as much as it pained her to do it, she had pulled her mother aside during the barbecue and asked if Bunny could sleep over at Olly’s that night.
To Bunny’s credit, she didn’t cause a scene, even though the look on her face said just about everything.
Maddy had been prepared for a barrage of rapid-fire questions, but instead Bunny simply said, “Of course, honey.”
She should have known that Bunny already knew.
Maddy let them in the front door and Chanel came skidding across the hardwood to press her trembling body into Maddy’s shins. CoCo stood three feet back barking with her whole body.
“Not now,” Maddy told the dogs, and nudged Chanel gently back with the side of her foot, and pulled Aspen toward the stairs.
It felt strange to be leading Aspen up to her childhood bedroom.
The only other person Maddy had ever shared that bed with was Noa, the two of them teenagers and debating past midnight about which member of which band they were each going to marry.
Maddy’s had been the sensible ones— Nick Lachey from 98o and later Nick Jonas from The Jonas Brothers.
Noa’s had been a toss up between Baby Spice and Posh Spice.
At least her taste in women had stayed consistent.
Aspen St. Claire was not in any version of the future that teenage Maddy had mapped out in this room.
Maddy paused at the doorway and flipped on the light, letting Aspen go ahead of her. Aspen let go of her hand and stepped into the room, walking a slow, wide circle around the perimeter, scanning everything.
“Oh my God. This is…so you.” She stopped in front of the trophy shelf. “The trophies are even in chronological order.”
“Of course they are.” It was the only way that made sense. Maddy leaned against the doorway, amused at Aspen’s wonder and awe as she took in the intricate details of teenage Maddy’s bedroom.
Aspen’s mouth tipped up. She looked at the gavel, the desk, the stringlights, the bed and then spoke quietly, almost to herself. “You have no idea how many times I fantasized about being in this room.”
Maddy felt a hot little stab of jealousy. Of her teenage self.
Because part of Maddy didn’t want Aspen wanting that girl. The seventeen-year-old fantasy with the better skin and the entire future still on the table. She wanted Aspen wanting the woman standing in front of her right now, thirty-three and finally paying attention.
The other part of her wanted to climb right into the fantasy and pull the door shut.
Because Maddy had been wrong. About all of it. For years. Ever since an eight-year-old had so clearly laid out everything Maddy had refused to look at earlier today, she couldn’t stop replaying every high school interaction in her head.
Not just Aspen’s, but her own, too.
She’d had this whole story made up in her head about her and Aspen St. Claire.
Rivals who couldn’t share a room without it turning into a bloodsport.
And every single thing her body had ever done around Aspen, she’d had an explanation for.
Pulse kicking the moment Aspen walked into the room—competition.
Heat crawling up her neck when Aspen stood across from her at the podium—annoyance.
Being able to find Aspen in any crowd in three seconds seconds flat—keeping an eye on the enemy.
And standing here now, with her body reacting in the exact same way—the racing pulse, the heat flooding her body, the eyes that can’t seem to look anywhere else—but this time as unmistakable desire, made Maddy wonder if this had been there all along and Maddy had just refused to see it for what it was.
Well, she saw it now.
Maddy pushed off the doorway and crossed the room, eyes locked with Aspen’s the whole way, until she came to a stop right in front of her.
Aspen set her hands tentatively on Maddy’s hips.
It was nothing like the way she’d touched her the last two nights at Aspen’s bungalow, where Aspen had been all smug confidence and no mercy.
Tonight was different. Aspen was nervous, she could tell.
She had seen the same hesitation surface briefly at the cabin before Maddy took charge.
Maddy had never wanted a person the way she wanted the one in front of her, with her hungry eyes and her nervous hands slowly wrapping around the small of Maddy’s back and pulling her closer.
Maddy ran her palms up Aspen’s arms, over her shoulders, up her neck, and cupped Aspen’s jaw, pulling her forward into a soft, slow kiss.
Aspen made a small sound against her lips and went pliant, letting Maddy set the pace.
Neither of them was in a hurry. The cabin had been a collision, all instinct, no thinking.
The bungalow had been Aspen running the show and making Maddy beg.
This was neither. This was Maddy taking Aspen’s bottom lip between her own, massaging her tongue lightly, feeling her breath go uneven, and not rushing past it.
Maddy finally pulled back just far enough to look at Aspen. Aspen’s eyes fluttered open. She stood there catching her breath, her dark eyes locked on Maddy’s.
Maddy gently dragged her hands back down Aspen’s neck, down her torso, and landed at the hem of Aspen’s tank top. She drew it up, slowly, and Aspen lifted her arms and let her take it off.
She’d seen Aspen naked multiple times by now.
It had not gotten one bit less effective.
But she’d never taken her time with it, really admiring the artform that was Aspen St. Claire.
So she did. She ran her hands up Aspen’s bare sides, watching the goosebumps chase them, and slowly leaned forward and put her mouth to Aspen’s shoulder.
She let her lips linger there for a moment, then moved them to Aspen’s throat, the spot where her pulse was going like a jackhammer.
She pulled back slightly, her face an inch from Aspen’s. Aspen dragged her fingers to the hem of Maddy’s top and slowly lifted it off with shaky hands. Then immediately pulled Maddy into a deep kiss.
Maddy slowly walked her backward toward the bed without breaking the kiss. She reached back and unhooked her own bra, letting it fall to the floor.
Aspen pulled back slightly, her eyes dropping and then coming back up. She swallowed hard.
Maddy reached for Aspen’s shorts, got them unbuttoned, and pushed them down.
Aspen stepped out of them and reached for the button of Maddy’s, and they undressed each other like that, slowly, taking turns, never getting more than a few inches apart, until there was nothing left between them and Maddy guided Aspen down onto the bed.
She braced over Aspen and just looked at her for a moment.
She was so incredibly gorgeous. And Maddy honestly couldn’t comprehend at that moment how she could have ever not been aware of how attracted she was to this woman.
It was—just as Aspen had said at the cabin in Pine Valley—glaringly fucking obvious.
“What?” Aspen said, looking up at Maddy with a half smile, her hands coming up onto Maddy’s back.
“Nothing.” Maddy kissed the corner of the smile. “Just looking.”
“You can do more than look.” Aspen grinned.
“Oh I plan to.” Maddy dragged her mouth down Aspen’s jaw as she slid a hand between them and dragged one slow finger through Aspen’s already soaked center.
“Fuck.” Aspen breathed, her head dropping back, eyes closed.
Maddy kissed down Aspen’s throat and Aspen’s hands came up into her hair.
Maddy took her time. She kissed across her collarbone, then closed her mouth over a nipple and felt Aspen arch up under her with a soft broken sound, and Maddy stayed there, unhurried, until Aspen was breathing in little catches and her hands had tightened in Maddy’s hair.
She kissed lower, down Aspen’s stomach.
This was what Aspen had wanted. Not just for the past five weeks.
Since freshman year of high school. The girl three feet behind her in the DC photo on her stringlights had wanted this.
The girl who jumped off a kayak into open ocean for a stolen hat had wanted this.
The girl who took four years of debate just to be in the same room as Maddy had wanted this.
Maddy honestly didn’t know how Aspen had done it. She had only consciously wanted Aspen for two weeks and it was driving her absolutely insane every time she couldn’t touch her. Aspen had felt that way for four straight years.
She settled between Aspen’s thighs and looked up the length of her body. Aspen propped herself on her elbows, flushed, and met Maddy’s eyes.
“Don’t look away,” Maddy said.
Aspen visibly swallowed. “I won’t.”
Maddy held her eyes and lowered her mouth. She licked into her with one long stroke, and Aspen’s whole body jolted, a moan slipping out of her, but she kept her eyes open, kept them on Maddy.
Maddy worked her slow and steady, savoring every sound, watching the muscles in Aspen’s stomach jump, and the entire time they did not stop looking at each other. It was the most exposed Maddy had ever felt with another human being, and she’d done this a hundred times.
She slid two fingers inside her and curled, feeling Aspen clench around them.
“Maddy,” Aspen gasped.
She worked her tongue and her fingers together, taking Aspen apart with each swirl of her tongue and curl of her fingers. Aspen rolled her hips up to meet every stroke, her eyes heavy, breath shallow.