Chapter Twelve
Roman paced the hallway outside Timothy’s room, reliving everything that had happened that night and wondering what to do from here.
He’d been so foolish to think that everything was resolved with his brother’s gambling.
He’d thought that if he paid off the debt, it would be over, but he realized how na?ve he’d been.
And he realized how incredibly stupid he’d been where Anastasia was concerned.
When he’d told her he thought it was best if they parted ways, he’d thought that would be easy because no commitments had been made.
It was like a business deal—if there was no contract, it was easy to cancel it.
But that’s not how it worked in relationships, he discovered, and he also learned that she carried a sharp tongue in that pretty head.
But he’d deserved it. He’d deserved every bit of it.
He’d thought he was doing the right thing, but somehow he’d lost sight of what that even meant, and it was clearly more complicated than he knew.
He glanced at his pocket watch, wondering when Lacy would wake up. He needed yet another female to point him in the right direction—two clearly wasn’t enough for the pit he’d dug for himself.
***
The next morning, Anastasia was awakened to a knock on her door. Lacy stood on the other side.
“My brother is an idiot,” she said by way of greeting.
“I can’t argue with that, but which one do you mean?”
Lacy blinked, but then laughed. “I like you, Anastasia Smith. Yes, both my brothers are idiots, but at this exact moment, I’m talking about Roman.”
Anastasia stepped back and let Lacy into her room. “How is Timothy doing?”
“He’s awake, but very sore. He confirmed that yes, this was related to his gambling—Roman has gone off to pay the debt once and for all, and to strike a deal that this man will never gamble with Timothy again.
He’s also considering sticking Timothy on a boat bound for China, but if the boy wants to find trouble, I think he’d be able to find it no matter what continent he’s on.
However, it’s not Timothy I’m here to discuss.
” She flopped down on the chair near the window.
“Roman’s in love with you. I’m sure you know that. ”
“For several hours last night, I thought I knew it. But then I wasn’t so sure.”
Lacy sighed. “For all his talent with money and his head for business, Roman has no idea what to do with his heart. He thinks he’s being good and noble, but all he’s doing is creating loneliness and misery.”
“He is good and noble. He just shows it in strange ways.” Anastasia sat on the foot of her bed, since Lacy had taken the only chair. “Have you come to plead his case? That’s something he should do himself, shouldn’t he?”
“Yes, he should, and I admit, that is why I’m here. But not to excuse him or to change your mind. I’m here to tell you I admire you, and I hope he does something to end up deserving you.”
“You think he’s not deserving?”
“It’s like I said—he’s an idiot.”
They both laughed.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you never gave him a second thought,” Lacy said. “I do wish you’d keep an open mind about it, though. In case he does figure himself out and decide to allow himself the human privilege of having real feelings.”
“I’ll try. Although I’m not sure he’d still be interested in me after what I said last night. I was rather harsh.”
“He told me what you said, and I don’t think you were harsh at all. I think it was exactly what he needed to hear. And maybe he realizes it—when he spoke to me this morning, he seemed pretty contrite.”
Anastasia knew she’d done everything she could and that it was not up to her. But oh, how she wished Roman would open his eyes and his heart once again.
“Has he always been this stubborn?” she asked.
Lacy grinned. “Oh, my. Yes. This and even more. I have to say, though, I’m glad of it.
His stubbornness saw us through more difficult times as a family than I would have thought possible.
That’s why he clings to it. He believes we still need to be saved—and after what happened last night, I can’t say that he’s wrong.
But he needs to refine his methods. He needs to be our brother instead of trying to step in and replace our father. ”
“Is that what he’s doing?” Anastasia asked. That would make a lot of sense.
“I believe so. As the oldest son, he felt such a weight on his shoulders, and I don’t think that ever left him. One thing this tells you, Miss Smith—he’s loyal, and he takes his responsibilities very seriously. I think those are admirable qualities.”
“I do too,” Anastasia replied. As long as they were used wisely.
***
Anastasia was sitting on the bench in the park, sketching two children skipping rope on the path, when a shadow fell across the page. She knew that shadow.
“You’re blocking the light, Mr. Kendall,” she said.
“Sorry.” He came beside her and sat down. “Better?”
“Yes, but now you’re too close to my elbow, and you’re not giving me space to draw.”
He scooted back a few inches, but not quite enough.
She sighed and put her book down. “You’re determined to interrupt me, are you?”
“Yes, I am. But it’s for a very good reason. At least, I think it’s a good reason, and we’ll see if you think so too.”
Trying not to sound exasperated, she said, “Lacy told me that Timothy is awake, so if you’ve come to update me on his status, I do already know. And I’m very, very happy to hear it. What a relief.”
“I’m glad she told you, but that’s not why I’m here.
” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
“First of all, I’ve come to thank you for the drawing you did of my mother.
She was incredibly touched, and so was I.
It’s a remarkable piece of art, but it’s so much more. My family will treasure it always.”
“You’re welcome.” Anastasia wanted to stay irritated with him, but he’d just said the most wonderful thing—he’d told her that she had accomplished what she’d always meant to with her art, that she had creating something of great worth.
It was hard to stay angry in the face of that.
“And what’s the other reason why you’re here? ”
“I treated you badly last night, and I’ve come to apologize. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me, Mr. Kendall. You made me angry. Those are two very different emotions.”
“They are?”
“Yes. The first would just make me feel sorry for myself. The second would make me want to punch you.” She didn’t look at him as she spoke. She was entirely focused on putting her pencils away.
“You want to punch me? A nicely brought-up young lady like yourself, a Vassar graduate?”
Now she looked at him, her eyebrow raised. “My choice of college has nothing to do with my desire to punch you, Mr. Kendall. They are entirely unrelated.”
“I see. And I can’t argue that I don’t deserve to be punched because I do deserve it. How can I fix this, Miss Smith? How can I repair what I’ve broken?”
“With a question like that, I’m not sure you understand the problem.”
“Then please tell me. I want to do better, Anastasia. I want to learn.”
She sighed and turned to face him. He did look sincere—she could see the vulnerability in his eyes again, and that was a good sign. She would give this an attempt and hope he would be able to hear her and see her both.
“You have the very best of desires—you want to take care of your family and provide their every need. Lacy stayed about an hour this morning and told me more about your past, and I believe I understand you better now. I appreciate that, but I don’t understand why you feel you can never marry until you’re ridiculously wealthy.
I’ll admit that it’s nice to have money, but there are so many other things that matter too . . .”
She swallowed against the lump that was rising in her throat. “My father is dying, Roman.”
“He is? Oh, Anastasia. I’m so sorry.” He reached out as though to touch her, but dropped his hand, perhaps realizing that’s not what she wanted. She wasn’t ready for it. “I wouldn’t have thought that after meeting him, not at all. He seems so healthy.”
“He has cancer, and no amount of money will change that for him. So, what has he chosen to do? He’s chosen to love.
He’s chosen to spend time with me and with my mother and create memories.
Don’t you want to build yourself a trove of memories, a treasure that no one can take away from you regardless of the fluctuations in the market?
Gold is down two points today, or so I’m told.
But love lasts eternally. Families can’t be stored in a bank—you keep them beside you come rain or shine.
You tuck them into the pockets of your heart.
That’s all I wanted you to know. Money isn’t everything.
It’s a helpful tool, it’s a nice resource, it helps fund the important things—but people are the important things. Not the money.”
Roman nodded slowly. She hoped he was absorbing what she’d said.
She also hoped that she’d stated it cleanly and that her feelings hadn’t overtaken her thoughts.
“You’re right,” he said at long last. “This morning when Timothy finally woke up, I had the thought that yes, I was glad I have the money to pay off his debts, but I’m incredibly glad that I still have him, regardless of the money.
I thought I was showing my love by working so hard, but it’s really about a balance between the two. ”
“Exactly. And another thing, Mr. Kendall. I wouldn’t mind going through some rough patches if I had a strong and loving husband by my side.
It’s a rare couple who doesn’t face a bit of financial turmoil from time to time.
Why should we be any different?” She realized what she’d just said, and her face flamed.
“Not that we’re a couple, and not that you’re my husband.
I was speaking entirely in the abstract, you see.
From a philosophical point of view . . . ”
He grinned. “And what is wrong with calling us a couple, Miss Smith?”
“What’s wrong? Well, the fact that nothing has been said about it at all.
The fact that we’ve known each other less than a week.
The fact that I couldn’t possibly agree to an engagement unless I’ve been courting someone for at least six months .
. . and . . .” The longer she spoke, the less she was convincing herself.
“I don’t know,” she said at last. “Maybe the fact that I live in New York and you live in Colorado?”
“Half those things are just excuses, and the other half could be changed or fixed,” he replied.
“I’d be glad to court you for six months, if that’s what you really wanted.
And here you are in Denver right this minute, even though you don’t live here—isn’t the train a wonderful invention?
As a stock broker, I take risks all the time—risks involving money.
For the first time in my life, I believe I’m ready to take a risk when it comes to my heart.
I’ve spent a long night thinking about this, a long night wondering why I’ve been so set in my ways, and I’ve realized it’s done nothing but create a barrier between me and the things I truly want most. Are you willing to take a risk with me, Anastasia? Are you willing to give this a try?”
Her heart thudded rapidly in her chest, but she needed to know more. “I’m not sure what you’re asking. Is this a proposal? Is this an invitation to dinner? What are we risking? What are we trying?”
“I’m asking if you’ll stay in Denver long enough for me to court you properly, whether that’s six months or two weeks—whatever you feel is right.
I have some things to straighten out in my own life—I need to help Timothy overcome his struggles, and I need to see to my business.
But I plan to make you my priority, my very delightful priority, and as soon as you give the word, I’d like to take you down the aisle. What do you say?”
What a complete change from his behavior the night before. She’d been hurt and angry then, but now she startled and confused. He was saying what she wanted to hear, but did he really mean it?
“Well, I’d have to ask my parents what they think,” she said, trying to deflect with some humor. “They weren’t planning on this trip being forever, you know.”
“And what do you think they’ll say?”
She thought back to the conversation she’d had with her mother about grandbabies. “I think they’d be willing to consider it.”
“They sound like wise investors. I’m glad to hear they have such good heads on their shoulders. And what does their daughter think?”
Anastasia hardly knew what to think anymore. She only knew what she felt, but that’s how she had conducted her entire life, and she didn’t know how to operate any differently.
“If my parents are willing to consider it, I would be too.”
He grinned. “In business terms, Miss Smith, would you say that we have a deal?”
She pulled in a breath, half of her wanting to know what she was getting into, and the other half eager to begin. “As long as all the terms and conditions are met, yes, we have a deal. But I’m going to hold you to it, Mr. Kendall—relationships first. Not money.”
“I understand. And I have every incentive in the world to remember—losing you is the risk I never want to take again.”
This time when she closed her eyes to be kissed, it was much more than a brief butterfly flicker. In fact, it was quite satisfying, and she had reasons to believe she could be very happy investing in the stock market—er, investing in the stock broker himself.
THE END