Chapter Twelve #2
By day five, I’m at my wits’ end. It’s been a long few days, and I’m tired. Tired of picking up after this teenage girl who seems to have a genuine hatred for me. Everything I say, she has a comeback for. Everything I do, she raises her eyebrows at.
‘That’s teenagers for you,’ James says when I open up to him while we’re out in the wildflower meadow walking Alfie. There’s a timidness to his voice though, as though he isn’t quite sure he believes his own words. I certainly don’t.
‘Oh stop. She likes you,’ I seethe, and it’s true.
Over the last few days, I’d almost say James and Raven have developed a bit of a bond.
And while Raven seems to be positively shining under James’s wing, Skyla has dulled.
She’s withdrawn from us, stopped kissing me good morning and hugging me goodbye, something I must have taken for granted before because now it’s gone the ache is enormous.
She won’t sit up front with me when I’m driving; instead she scootches into the back and spends the journey chatting to Raven in hushed whispers, as though she doesn’t want me to hear their conversation, their plans.
She’s dressing differently, too. The same clothing, but put together in ways I haven’t seen her do before.
Shortening her skirts, knotting her button-down shirts.
There’re new rips in her expensive jeans, and she’s started wearing Raven’s make-up.
Small things, but they make a difference.
I’m starting to brace myself for her request to buy make-up of her own — and that would be a normal thing for a girl of her age.
I should’ve been expecting it long ago, but I can’t help but feel like this change is purely from Raven’s influence.
It’s like she’s modelling herself on Raven, making them look more alike than I thought before.
‘This isn’t normal though, James. For a girl to just show up at our house and start practically living with us — shouldn’t her mother have vetted us or something first?’ I ask.
‘Her mother is on holiday. It’s summer,’ James says. ‘And it’s only been a handful of days, I wouldn’t call it living with us, Bella.’
I roll my eyes. ‘So her mother just swans off to somewhere in Europe or whatever and leaves her fifteen-year-old daughter to fend for herself, not even bothering to check where she’s going to be staying? It all sounds a bit odd to me!’ I scoff. ‘And why isn’t Raven on holiday with her?’
‘Maybe she trusts her? Maybe, just like us, she needs a bit of alone time sometimes.’
I draw in a breath, holding on to it to keep from screaming. Why does he seem to have an answer for everything? Why can’t he just be on my side, for once?
Alfie charges between us, kicking up dirt and almost knocking me off my feet. James catches me, steadying me. I look at him gratefully, but sigh.
‘She’s changing Skyla,’ I say petulantly.
‘We’ve been lucky with Sky, all things considered,’ James says.
‘Why’re you calling her Sky?’ My eyes widen. He’s never called her that before.
‘Sorry. Skyla,’ he corrects himself. ‘She’ll just be going through a phase. It was bound to happen eventually, love.’
I reattach Alfie to his lead and pull him back in the direction of the house.
‘Bella!’ James calls after me, but I’m already five metres ahead.
My relationship with James has never quite recovered after Robin’s disappearance, not just sexually, but in every sense.
We get by though, and we still love each other, still support each other — so this disconnect from both him and our daughter has me on edge.
It’s only when I get back to the house, realising James is still miles behind me, that I look down and notice the blood on my fingers from where I’ve been gnawing on my nails.
Loading up our wicker laundry basket with Skyla’s load, I remember I should check the guestroom, too.
Raven hasn’t come out with anything to wash over the last week, but she’ll be running low on clothing by now, surely.
I don’t knock. The girls have been at school taking their final exam, and I know they’ve been planning on going out for milkshakes afterwards to celebrate, so I pull the doorhandle down freely.
But the door doesn’t budge. It’s locked.
Why would Raven feel the need to lock the bedroom door on her way out of the house this morning? What’s in there that she could be wanting to hide?
I crouch down low and peer in through the keyhole, but I can’t see much.
There must be a spare key somewhere, or a master key to the house perhaps.
I can’t say it’s something I’ve ever needed to look for before, but I know James tends to keep a collection of keys and bills for payment in a small drawer down in the kitchen.
Heading back downstairs, my teeth tear at my lower lip.
I’m just trying to nibble off some dry skin, but I lose focus, ripping my lip open.
Blood pools on my tongue and I dab at the cut with the back of my hand.
With the girls out and James squirrelled away somewhere hiding from me, the house feels too quiet.
Ominous, especially with the guest bedroom being locked. I need to find out what’s in there.
Rifling through the drawer in the kitchen, I pull out a set of keys.
They jangle in my hand as I take them back up the stairs with me to try each one on the guestroom’s lock.
When I finally discover the right one, I brace myself as the door swings open.
At the sight of her room, my stomach twists and I back away slowly, stunned by what I see.
Who the hell does this girl think she is?
* * *
My lingerie, not just one pair, but several, are strewn across the carpet.
Including the pair I’d seen Raven wearing in the kitchen!
I knew they were mine. My nostrils flare.
I recognise them all instantly but had no idea they were missing because my lingerie drawer is a space covered in cobwebs and dust these days.
Before I can think about what to do and before I can feel the full effects of the violation, I hear Alfie barking.
It’s such a sharp, sudden sound that I drop the laundry basket, scattering clothing all over the floor.
I swipe it all up as quickly as I can, relocking the bedroom door, and I try not to trip as I run down the marble steps to find out what the commotion is.
Skyla and Raven have fallen into each other against the wall in the hallway. They’re laughing, hysterical, babbling words that make no sense.
‘Hi girls,’ I interrupt sharply, and they both try to snap up straight, but they’re swaying slightly. I frown.
‘How was the final exam?’ I aim this question at Skyla, but it’s Raven who responds.
‘Awful. We’re totally going to fail.’ Instead of sounding upset about this, she throws her head back and laughs again. A cackle, like she couldn’t care less about something so important.
My breath hitches. ‘Skyla?’ I step towards her, noticing her eyes are glistening, but I can’t be sure if she’s trying not to cry or if she’s been crying from laughing so hard.
I sniff the air and recoil slightly. Both of them absolutely reek of booze.
‘Baby, have you been drinking?’ I whisper, a tremor to my words.
‘Mum! Stop calling me baby.’ She stomps her foot, pulling away from me, but as she does, she loses her balance and falls into the coat stand. It crashes to the floor, and she looks at me wildly as Raven’s laughter intensifies.
‘Just leave me alone for once in your life!’ she screams and clops up the staircase as quickly as her unstable legs will allow.
I don’t want to subject my daughter to any form of bullying, and I’ve been biting my tongue at every hurdle over the last few days in the fear that if I retaliate to Raven’s jibes, it’ll harm her friendship with Skyla.
The last thing I need is Raven turning on her, making her life hell, so I’ve been taking the blows as they come, but this is one step too far.
There’s still a lot of adrenalin coursing through my veins from seeing my underwear in Raven’s room, but as I clear my throat to speak to Raven, I am physically vibrating with rage and fear.
‘I think, Raven, it’s time we took you home.’