Chapter Thirty-One
For a while all I can do is sit there, staring at the picture of my sister-in-law as I try to work out what the hell is going on.
What I know . . . what I have just discovered . . . is that Harper has known Gary and Gabby for years. Gary and Gabby were together. They were pregnant . . . and from the date it’s safe to say they were pregnant with Skyla and Robin. Which means . . . Gary is Skyla and Robin’s father.
All those years he’s been hanging around our family, protecting us, shielding us, fighting our corner . . . was it all for show? Did he ever actually care? Why didn’t he tell us? He must know, surely. It’s too much of a coincidence not to know.
I take out my phone and pull up his number on speed dial, my thumb hovering over the call button.
I feel very close to something I don’t think I should know.
Something charged with danger. My gut instinct is screaming at me, warning me against calling him.
He is the law, and that instils a deep fear in me.
What could he do to me? What could he get away with if he finds out I know the truth about who he is?
I have to be careful, that I know for sure.
Swiping his contact away, I draft a message to Harper and hit send before I can stop myself. One word.
Coffee?
Her response is almost instant. A simple thumbs up. Letting out a shaky breath, I tell her to come over whenever she’s ready. I can wait. Waiting is what I’ve been doing for years. What’s a little longer?
I lay out some coffee and walnut cake from Waitrose, two spoons, some plates. When she arrives, I don’t want her to suspect a thing. Blindsiding her is the best option, I decide. Corner her in person and eke out the truth.
* * *
For all of my preparation, my confidence falters as soon as she’s sitting down across from me. She picks up the cake fork and drives it beneath chopped walnuts and buttercream. As she brings the fork to her lips I clear my throat.
‘I know,’ I say, clenching my jaw. Don’t show fear, be strong. If it’s possible to intimidate someone as hardy as Harper, I don’t know. But I have to try.
‘Know what?’ she asks, her hand pausing mid-air. Giving me an amused half smile, she eyes me quizzically.
I’ve thought about how to handle this, about what to say. And yet every practised word evaporates on my tongue as I open my mouth.
‘Know what?’ she asks again, harder this time, more demanding. She knows something is wrong. The energy in the room is thick and heavy. Things haven’t felt right between us since James got arrested, but it’s never felt this hostile before.
Those hazel eyes of hers pin me down, seeming to dare me to look away first. I swallow, settling on revealing two words I know will put everything into perspective.
‘Gary and Gabby.’
Harper’s brows lift, her mouth parting but no words come out. She abandons the fork, still loaded with cake. We stare at each other, in some sort of standoff.
‘And?’ she asks, wrapping her arms around herself.
‘You knew Gary and Gabby when they were pregnant with Skyla and Robin. I know you did.’ I produce my phone and bring up the post I’d found online, watching as Harper’s face drains of colour.
‘So what if I did?’ She leans back in her seat, looking left to right. She’s making sure we’re alone, that no one can hear her.
I inhale, an attempt to still my hammering heart. ‘You had something to do with the adoption, didn’t you?’
She freezes, unblinking.
‘Didn’t you?’ I demand loudly, so loudly I think I startle us both.
‘Yes! Alright. Yes, I did,’ she cries, shrinking into herself like she’s terrified someone is about to step out of the shadows and arrest her there and then. When she realises that isn’t going to happen, she continues.
‘My intentions were good,’ she says, lips trembling. ‘I want you to know that. I never meant for things to end up the way they did.’ A vein bulges at her temple as she fights against the tears threatening to spill.
‘Tell me everything,’ I say, refusing to let her emotions get to me. ‘I deserve the truth.’
She nods, once. Her mouth is a thin, quivering line.
‘I knew Gabby wanted to give the babies up. I knew you and James wanted to adopt. I thought, how amazing would it be if you got not one but two babies!’ She barks out a laugh that is more of a sob, wiping her cheeks. ‘If my job ever found out I tampered with things, Bella, I’d be in huge trouble.’
It’s the way she looks at me that throws me. Harper is not someone to let her walls down. She oozes confidence — and yet I have never seen her more terrified than now.
‘You did it for us?’ I whisper, wanting to make sense of it all. Wanting to make sure I have it right.
‘I wanted to make you and James happy. It was heartbreaking watching you suffer with infertility. I made sure you were bumped up in the adoption process; made sure your profiles were under the noses of the right people when they needed somewhere to place the twins.’
‘And that’s your only role in any of this?’ I ask.
‘No. Bella, I’m so sorry. I promised Gabby I’d find somewhere amazing for the twins — and I did. You guys!’ She sniffs. ‘But when she changed her mind, when she wanted the twins back . . . she went crazy! She started blackmailing me. She knew so much about me that could wreck me, Bella.’
I grab her by the wrist, which I think frightens us both. ‘What did you do?’ I spit.
‘I had to tell her where the twins had gone. She didn’t care about anything other than getting one of them back, at least.’
‘You led her straight to us,’ I whisper, thinking of how she found James in the pub the night of their affair. I hadn’t even questioned how she’d known we had the twins until now.
Harper gave her our details. I blink furiously, trying to rid the tears in my eyes. If Harper hadn’t disclosed our information, the affair would never have happened. Gabby would never have threatened James, made him give up Robin. Robin might still be alive.
‘What could possibly have been so awful that you’d trade the twins’ safety, our safety, for yours?’
‘I was growing my brand, Bella. She had so much dirt on me, on my past. It could’ve shattered my career and my image.’
I scoff. ‘Your YouTube channel? Are you serious?’
‘I know how it sounds,’ she mumbles, looking down and I think, at least she has the decency to look ashamed. ‘Robin was never meant to . . . to die.’
She’s crying now, holding onto herself. Alfie lets out a sigh at our feet and I bend to pull my fingers through his long, shaggy hair, needing his comfort.
‘You knew what happened to Robin all along, too?’ My words come out cracked, broken — and the nod of her head is enough to cause hatred to seep out of my every pore.
I should hand her in for what she’s done, Gary too. They should be with James and Gabby behind bars. But I find myself hesitating.
Harper gave us Skyla and Robin . . . and for that I can never punish her.
Without her, I wouldn’t have the memories I have with Robin, and I wouldn’t have Skyla today.
But God, I hate her for everything she’s made us endure.
I guess I always will. But I’ll always appreciate her, too.
It was Harper who waved the wand and made me a mother.
So I don’t care what it is in her own life she’s trying to cover up.
I’m just grateful for getting the chance to have a family.
And Harper is part of that family — so I guess now I have to protect her, too.