Chapter 50
TOURON
J ogging usually clears my head, but not today. Today the doubts won’t stop circling like vultures.
I know what I’m doing is dangerous because it can never lead to anything, but I can’t stop. I don’t want to.
She’ll have to put a stop to it. Until then, I’m all in.
Dammit. I’m all in.
“Lomax!” Curi jogs to catch up to me. “You seen Basque?”
He sounds relaxed and unfettered, and it pisses me off. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Call her Basque when you want to call her Cam?”
“What?” He looks confused, but it’s a lie. He knows exactly what I mean.
“Look, I know you have feelings for her.”
Curi stops and draws me to halt. “What crawled up your ass and died?”
I’m being a bastard. He doesn’t deserve it. “I’m sorry. Bad day.” I’m a mess.
Curi studies me through narrow, speculative eyes. “Who is she? One of the omegas? Did you guys hook up after the moon? You know it’s allowed. You don’t have to hide it.”
“It’s not…I’m not…Shut up and mind your own business.”
He grins. “Same to you.”
I can’t help but grin back. “Noted.”
We head toward the dorms.
“Any plans for tomorrow?” Curi asks.
“No. You?”
“Nope. Procrastination probably.”
Yeah, giving us the day off before the cadet exam leaves us plenty of time to procrastinate. “We should all hang out. Make some food, watch some movies.”
“Sounds good.”
The sounds of pots and pans clashing drift out from the dorm kitchen. I follow Curi inside to find Cameron at the sink washing dishes. Every surface is covered in pots and pans. It looks like she’s pulled everything out of the cupboards.
“Cameron?” Curi says.
She looks over her shoulder. “Oh, hey, sorry, I was just cleaning. I mean this place is a mess, and nothing is where it should be, and there were dishes so…” Her mouth looks all wobbly. Oh fuck, has she been crying?
“Why are you crying?” Curi demands. “What happened? Is it Derek?”
“No. I’m fine. Derek is fine.” Her tone goes up an octave. “I just—I wanted to clean.”
Curi backs up a step so he’s level with me. “I don’t think she’s okay.”
“I’m fine,” she snaps.
“It’s Serath, isn’t it?” Curi says.
The plate she’s cleaning slips from her hand and smashes in the sink. “Fuck!” She throws down the sponge. “Fuck you! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Curi crosses the room and pulls her into his arms.
“No.” She shoves at him. “I’m fine. I’m fucking fine.”
He doesn’t let go of her, holding her tightly and stroking her hair until she sags against him and begins to cry.
She’s crying. Serath made her cry. Anger washes over me. “What the fuck is his problem?” I turn to the door.
“Don’t!” Cameron calls. “Please, don’t.”
“Dammit, Cameron, why not?”
“Because I’m fine.” She says it like she wants to believe it. Like she needs him to believe it.
Oh Cameron. My sweet, sweet, Cameron.
“You are not fine,” Curi grinds out. “What happened?”
She takes a deep breath and pulls out of his arms. “I met Jana.”
“Who?” Curi looks confused. “Wait, the goyle Serath is fucking?”
My heart sinks.
“It’s okay,” she says. “I just…I wasn’t expecting to have to meet her.”
“He introduced you to her?” Curi looks like he wants to punch a wall.
Cameron shakes her head. “No, it was an unfortunate coincidence. I don’t want to talk about it.”
But someone needs to. “Where is he now?”
“I don’t know. I came back with the other elite. They took me to Asteria.” Her smile is watery. “It was fun until…until it wasn’t.” She wipes her nose with her sleeve and looks around the kitchen. “Wow, jealousy is not a good look on me.”
I hate how this fated bond has reduced my fierce friend to this red-eyed teary mess. “We’ll help you clean up.”
She looks like she’s about to protest, but then her shoulders droop in defeat. “Thanks.”
“Then we’ll watch a movie,” Curi says.
“Something with blood and guts?” Cameron asks.
“My favorite.” Curi grins down at her, and she beams up at him.
Why couldn’t fate have bound her to someone like him?
Someone, anyone, free to love her would be better than the sigma elite.
It makes no sense in the grand scheme of things that Serath and Cameron can’t be together.
None at all.