Chapter 31
The Truth Behind the Mask
Lily
“But… he lied to me. He lied to us,” Camille sobbed.
“He did not lie. You just saw what you wanted to see, and now you are angry because you have to face the truth. It was right in front of you the whole time. You were simply too caught up in everything else.”
Lily and Camille arguing about their parents
Ikar and Aros turned out to be the most entertaining company Lily had ever met.
They pushed Khar to the brink of detonation with masterful precision, then retreated without a shred of shame the moment his patience snapped. For Lily, their antics were exactly the kind of balm her soul had been starving for after the brutal ordeal of the past chrono-cycles.
Yet as time passed, it became harder and harder to ignore the emotions churning under her skin, thickening like a gathering storm.
By the time they finally said goodbye to Khar’s brothers and the ship’s door sealed itself, leaving her alone with Khar in the quiet of the sleeping quarters, Lily knew it would be impossible to pretend everything was fine.
Not that she needed to pretend.
Khar pulled her into his arms the moment the door shut, then simply leaned back onto the bed, taking her with him, fully dressed, no hesitation.
She lay against his chest, held close without having to meet his eyes.
His baritone rolled through her when he spoke, that warm, grounding voice that had steadied her through so many storms, only now it made the pressure inside her chest worse, tightening around her lungs until her breath trembled.
“Lily. Tell me what is wrong.”
It was a single sentence, spoken without even a hint of accusation, but it was enough to break her.
Tears spilled before she could stop them.
Thank the stars he could not see her face.
If he had been looking at her directly, she would never have been able to say what she truly felt.
She would have slipped into analyzing his emotions instead of voicing her own.
“Khar… I’m grateful you saved me. That you all saved me. You risked your lives for me.”
Khar let out a low rumble, as if nothing in the universe could be more obvious, but he did not interrupt. The only movement he allowed himself was a steadying hand along Lily’s back, urging her to continue.
“Do not misunderstand me. I know I should feel happy that I escaped Horos and that his disgusting plan failed. I know that. But I feel selfish for not feeling that way. You don’t deserve this from me.”
“Lily, do not worry about me. Say it.”
Even through the veil of tears, the absurdity of it almost made her smile. Khar, in all his overwhelming size and presence, somehow always managed to be commanding and comforting at the same time.
But how much of that was real?
How much of it had she ever earned?
“Khar, I…”
Lily wiped her eyes, gathered what little strength she had left, and finally forced herself to face him.
“When I was trapped, the only thing that kept me sane was thinking of you. What we have feels perfect. I have never felt anything like it with anyone. If I had felt something like this on Earth, I would have assumed I was dreaming, because it should not be possible. But Horos…”
She felt Khar’s body tense beneath her at the Corvus’s name, muscles bunching as if ready to crush the creature to pulp.
“What did that miserable carrion-eater do?”
“It is not what he did. It is what he said. He said the Divani only imprint once. And once they do, they can never be compatible with anyone else.”
Khar’s chest loosened on a long exhale, and without meaning to, Lily matched his breath, releasing a sliver of the pressure knotting inside her.
“He did not lie to you. That part is true.”
He fell silent then, as if afraid speaking would push her even further away.
“I thought so,” Lily whispered. “Somewhere, I felt it was the truth. And that made it even worse, because it meant that if anything had happened to me… you would be left without a partner. Because of me.”
Khar moved suddenly, sitting up in one smooth motion and lifting Lily with him so she ended up seated on his lap.
The surprise kept her still, kept her eyes on his, and for the first time since the conversation began, she did not look away.
The raw storm of emotion in his face twisted something deep inside her chest.
“Lily, you underestimate yourself. You are everything to me. Not simply a companion. Nothing Horos does can change that.”
Tears welled again, stinging her eyes.
Every word from Khar was perfect.
And that only made the gnawing doubt inside her even more unbearable.
“That is exactly the problem, Khar. What is this imprinting? Are your feelings even real, or is your body dictating them? How do I know this is not some biological compulsion, the same kind Horos tried to use on me, only in a different way? Why me, Khar? And why can I not resist you? Why does it feel like something inside you pulls at me, pushes me toward you? What is this? Tell me.”
Her voice rose, roughening as the words tore loose from her. Khar looked as if someone had dumped ice water over him, shock freezing every line of his expression.
Shame struck Lily like a slap.
She jolted to her feet, ready to flee, but Khar caught her wrist and held her fast.
She braced for anger, or rejection, or fierce indignation, or heartbreak.
Instead she was met with a calm, almost calculating tone that stopped her breath.
“You believe what is between us is nothing more than a hormonal drive to mate? That I am manipulating you?”
Lily opened her mouth, searching for words, but before anything formed, Khar rose to his full height and loomed over her, continuing with a deliberate, measured intensity.
“Yes. That is true, in a way. I want you with every part of my being. If we ever have offspring, all the better, but I will never force you. I would do anything, absolutely anything, to keep you with me. I would kill for you, and I would probably enjoy it. Nothing else matters and nothing is sacred if it threatens losing you. As for manipulation…”
Khar tipped his head back and let out a bitter laugh.
“Yes. A firm yes. Of course I am manipulating you. Just as you are. Just as you do with everyone around you.”
“What?” Lily snapped, yanking her wrist free. “Me? Manipulating people around me?”
“Of course. Every interaction between two sapients becomes a game when something is at stake. And while we are on the subject, let me tell you something else you are not going to like. That ethereal love you keep talking about does not exist.”
His words made Lily retreat, slow and almost unconscious, as if physical distance could soften the blow.
“What are you talking about?”
“I am talking about how much change it would take for you to stop wanting me. What if I were smaller than you? Weaker? Sickly? What if my mind were damaged? Face it, Lily. Your body is part of desire. We are not two disembodied minds floating in sterile tanks, conversing through a console. Yes, the Divani imprinting process shapes me to you. And? Does that make me unworthy of your feelings because it was not chance or destiny that sculpted us into perfect mates before we ever even met? Between the two of us, I am not the one denying what is true, and the only thing in this cursed Cradle-born universe that is real.”
His voice had begun like cold logic, but now every syllable trembled on the edge of losing control.
And Lily could not bear it.
Not now.
Not with everything else fighting for space inside her chest.
She slapped the panel behind her to open the door and backed out of the bedroom.
“Khar… I… I can’t do this.”
She did not care that the words were messy, that they made little sense.
Fucking hell, they didn’t make perfect sense to her either.
It was just a gnawing feeling, poisoning her joy, her love, tainting it at the root.
Was it even real, or just a biological compulsion fooling Khar—no, fooling both of them?
She was exhausted from being toyed with.
First Horos, now this. Nothing made sense anymore.
She did not care that it looked like running.
She was running.
She fled to the only being who had ever managed to calm her, no matter the circumstance.
Her feet carried her to Helios.
She knew where the Divani brothers had hidden the Colossus body that had become Helios’s new vessel, but she had no idea whether he was awake, functional, or capable of speaking yet.
She remembered something about him needing to recharge, something about a transformation underway, but she had no clue what she would find.
Still, she was certain of one thing.
His presence alone would help quell the storm devouring her from the inside out.
As she searched through the compartments large enough to hide the enormous synthetic shell Helios now inhabited, she felt the strangest echo of her own past.
It reminded her of the first time she had stepped onto this ship after her abduction, terrified and unprepared, wandering unfamiliar corridors in search of a single stable point in a collapsing world.
It felt like her life had come full circle, returning her again and again to the edges of herself, forcing her to confront something new every time.
She did not know what awaited her next.
But she did know one thing with absolute clarity.
The Lily walking these corridors now was no longer the same girl who had walked them then.
Helios and Khar. Khar and Helios.
Whatever the future held, the two of them had carved themselves so deeply into her being that nothing could ever erase their imprint.
And she loved the person she had become because of them.
When she finally spotted the Colossus in one corner of the cargo bay, tucked behind carefully stacked crates, her heart leapt into her throat with a painful, hopeful thud.
She approached slowly, almost reverently.
When she spoke, her voice came out soft, barely more than a whisper.
One trembling hand brushed the smooth gold-and-white plating.
“Helios?”
The Colossus did not move.
So Lily sank down beside him and waited.
Sleep claimed her before she realized it, her body leaning against the enormous form that had once been a weapon and was now something infinitely more important to her.
Her final thought before she slipped under was Khar’s face, the last glimpse she had caught as the door closed between them, standing utterly still, carved in shadow and heartbreak like a statue left behind in the dark.