Chapter Five
Derek
I’m a sodding bastard.
I don’t know what the fuck came over me. I have no right to be jealous or make any demands of her. I made a mistake ever putting my hands on her—I knew it as soon as I pulled out of her. Because all I wanted to do was turn her over, lift that arse in the air, and do it all over again.
I’m used to having control in every area of my life. Now, I suddenly can’t control the primal need I have for this woman I barely know. I can’t resist her.
I knew I had to get away from her yesterday.
It didn’t bloody help.
All I did was think about her. And then, in the evening, I drove myself mad thinking about her on a date with some other bloke, inviting him to her place, fucking him all night. I was as pissed off as I’ve ever been.
Then she came into the office this morning, looking fresh and gorgeous in that amazing red dress, and I wanted her all over again.
Until she told me she’d spent the night with the asshole. Then, I saw red, and it had nothing to do with that dress that just about brought me to my bloody knees.
She had a right to put me in my place. I was behaving like a child.
However, I admit that I feel better knowing no one else has touched her. But now I can’t help but wonder what she did last night.
“You’re an idiot,” I mutter and return to my desk. It’s better if she can’t stand me. I shouldn’t have fucked her in the first place. She’s better off staying away from me.
I’m shite at relationships. I don’t get close to people because the few times I have, it’s blown up on me. Maya shouldn’t be any different.
So, yeah, it’s best if she thinks I’m an asshole and ignores me for the rest of the month while doing the job I’m paying her for. Then, I never have to see her again.
But the thought of that is…unsettling. So, I ignore it and dive into work for the morning, grateful I have to be in court this afternoon.
My cell rings just before lunch, and I frown when I see my mum’s name on the screen.
“Hello, Mum.”
“Hello, darling. What time is it there?”
It’s been twenty-five years since she and Dad moved from Seattle; you’d think she’d have a better handle on the time difference by now.
“It’s almost noon, which means it’s dinnertime for you. What are you having?”
“Your father is taking me out for my birthday.”
I cringe and check the date. Fuck me, it is her birthday.
“Happy birthday, Mum. I was going to call you after lunch.” The lie rolls off my tongue easily.
“No, you weren’t, but that’s okay. It’s been a nice day. We’ll end it with some seafood for dinner. How are you, darling?” She knew I’d forget to call, so she called me to be sure I wished her a good day. That’s pretty typical for my mother.
“I’m fine. I’m glad you had a good day. How’s Dad?”
“Oh, he’s the same as always. He sends his love.”
“Give mine back to him. Have a good dinner, Mum.”
“Thank you. Talk soon.”
She hangs up, and I sigh as I set the phone down. That’s how every conversation has gone with my mother since I was a child.
Surface-level. Short. Disinterested.
The calls with my dad are even less exciting.
My parents love me, but they’ve never been terribly interested in me, which is why it’s always been difficult for me to let anyone get close. Years ago, in college, I met a woman and dated her. Enjoyed the hell out of her. And finally opened up to her. And then she proceeded to tell my business to everyone who would listen, proving my judgement wrong. Trust isn’t something that comes naturally to me.
With an eye on the time, I gather everything I’ll need for this afternoon, shut down the laptop, and stow it in my briefcase before leaving my office and closing the door behind me.
When I glance over at Maya, I see she’s nibbling on some red licorice. She doesn’t look my way.
“I’ll be out for the rest of the day.”
“See ya,” she says without looking up. She slips the end of a piece of licorice between her teeth and sucks on it. I can see the tip of her tongue. It reminds me of having that mouth around my cock just yesterday, and I can’t stand it.
I stalk to the door, walk out, and let it slam behind me.
* * * *
It’s been a long week.
Court hasn’t been going the way I want it to. My caseload is heavier than it’s been in years.
And Maya won’t fucking talk to me.
It’s Friday, and she came waltzing in here wearing the sexiest damn power suit I’ve ever fucking seen. The tight, thin skirt should be up around her waist as I sink inside her.
Oh, yes, I’m still thinking about that. I fear I’ll never stop thinking about that.
But she’s also been nothing but helpful and productive this week. Efficient. Polite. Almost too polite because she hasn’t spared me so much as a glance, and I miss the playful side of Maya, and yet, I can’t help but respect her abilities as a damn good assistant.
And now I notice that her candy stash is dwindling since she frowns when she opens the bottom drawer of her desk and sees nothing there.
“I need these scanned and emailed,” I inform her as I pass her a small stack of documents. “ASAP, please.”
“Sure,” she says, not meeting my eyes.
Before I can say more, she clears her throat. “I’m going out to lunch today with my sister-in-law.”
“Enjoy,” I reply with a nod. “And, Maya?”
“Yes?” She looks my way but still doesn’t meet my eyes. I take a breath and shove my hands in my pockets. I don’t usually hand out compliments, but she deserves one.
“You’ve done a good job this week.”
She frowns, just a quick tightening between her eyebrows, and then nods once. “Just two more weeks, and you’ll be rid of me.”
“I don’t want—”
But before I can finish, the door opens, and a beautiful blonde about Maya’s age walks through with a big smile on her face.
“It’s lunchtime,” she announces.
“Already?” Maya checks her watch. “Wow, the morning flew by. Stella, this is Der—Mr. Langley. My boss. This is Stella.”
“Pleasure,” I say with a nod, shaking the woman’s hand.
Maya hasn’t addressed me by my first name all week, not since Monday, and it makes me want to punch something.
“Oh, no,” Stella says with a grin. “The pleasure’s all mine. My husband is Grayson Sterling.”
I tilt my head in surprise and spare Maya a glance.
“Maya didn’t mention that her brother is an attorney.”
“Do you know all the lawyers in Seattle?” Maya asks, irritation ripe in her voice. “There must be a thousand of them.”
“Well, no. But I’m aware of Mr. Sterling’s practice. They’re quite influential.”
“As is yours,” Stella says. “From what I’ve heard, anyway.”
“We’re headed out,” Maya says after she locks her computer screen and grabs her purse. “See you in an hour.”
“Maya, take the afternoon if you’d like.”
“I’ll see you in an hour,” she repeats, and then they’re gone.
Jesus Christ, I fucked up. I’d thought keeping my distance from her was the smart way to go. Something tells me I won’t ever be content with a short-term assistant-with-benefits situation. And I’m not capable of more.
It’s not fair to her.
And yet, this coldness from her makes me want to pull my hair out. I miss our talks in the morning, and her witty banter. I miss the way she smiled at me.
“I have to fucking apologize.”
I sigh in resignation.
I’ve never been good at apologizing, but if I want things to loosen up and go back to even a fraction of what they were before, I need to tell her that I regret my behavior on Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning.
If you’d told me a month ago that I’d be desperate for a woman to soften up and like me, I’d have laughed in your face and told you to go shag yourself.
But that’s what seems to be happening here.
There’s a store just down the block, so I lock up the office and walk over to pick up some things. When I return, I set them on her desk. I don’t overthink it and try to get fancy; I just put them there for her to find.
Then I return to my desk and wait for her to get back so I can hopefully make things right with her again.
Exactly fifty-nine minutes after she left, I hear Maya return to the office. Thirty seconds after that, she pokes her head in my doorway.
“May I come in?”
“Of course.” I turn to face her, surprised that she’s actually looking me in the eyes. “I trust you had a good lunch?”
“Yeah, it was fine. Where did these come from?” She’s holding up the candy I bought for her.
“You were out.”
Maya frowns over at me. “So you bought me more?”
“I did, yes.”
“Why? You don’t even like me.”
“That’s not true.” I drag my hand down my face and sigh. “Would you please sit?” I gesture to the visitor’s chair.
She looks hesitant, so I repeat, “Please?” Finally, she does as I ask.
“I do like you, Maya. And I have to—” I take another breath. “I need to apologize to you.”
That has those blue-gray eyes widening in surprise, but she doesn’t say anything in response.
“You deserve to be treated better than what you’ve gotten from me this week, and I have no excuse for the way I behaved, other than the simple fact that I was jealous.”
“Yeah, I got that much.”
My lips twitch. Christ, I’ve missed her smart mouth.
“I did not mean to insinuate, in any fashion, that you are easy or, for fuck’s sake, a whore.”
“You made me feel like one.”
The anger is back in those amazing eyes as she glares at me, and I have to swallow hard.
“I’m not proud of how I behaved or the things I said, and I hope you will accept my apology.”
“Why?”
I shake my head. “What do you mean, why ?”
“Why are you apologizing now? Are you feeling horny and hoping I’ll pull my skirt up for you again?”
I narrow my eyes on her and feel my jaw clench with pure anger. “Don’t you ever speak about yourself that way again, do you understand me?”
She firms her chin. “The question stands.”
I want to paddle her bottom, and then I want to fuck her into submission.
“I’m simply sorry for ever hurting your feelings. And for acting like a complete knob. I didn’t handle anything well, and I’m embarrassed for it.”
That seems to soften her. When she speaks again, the anger is gone from her voice. “Why didn’t you just say all of this on Tuesday? Why did we have to go through a whole week of being completely uncomfortable? I probably gained ten pounds because I eat candy when I’m upset.”
That explains all the sweets this week.
“You look bloody gorgeous, as always.”
She shrugs. “So? Why did you wait all week?”
“Because I’m a stubborn arse.”
“Yeah, that I know, too. There will be no more sex.” She swallows hard after that announcement. “But we can go back to being…I don’t know. Friendly, I guess.”
“I can deal with that.” It’s going to fucking drive me crazy seeing her every day and not being able to touch her, but I respect the boundary. I’m just relieved she won’t be pissed off every day anymore.
I can keep my hands to myself for two more weeks.
Probably.