Chapter 46
ROSIE
At Nessa’s house, the twins were inconsolable, sitting on the stairs, crying their hearts out. Killian had his old bunny, which he still always slept with, against his eyes to soak up his tears, Isabelle had her face in her hands, crying big-droplet tears which splashed to the ground.
Rosie looked at Nessa, who was standing in the hall looking helpless. Nessa mouthed something. ‘I can’t say it out loud,’ she said in a strange back-of-the-throat voice that she assumed Rosie would be able to understand.
‘What?’ Rosie mouthed back.
Nessa remained incomprehensible.
‘Divorce?’ Rosie mouthed. ‘You and Laurence?’ She mimed a pencil being broken in two. And then pointed at Nessa and Laurence’s wedding photograph which was on the wall, and then mimed a throat being slit.
‘What?’ said Nessa.
‘DIVORCE?’ said Rosie. ‘Are you actually getting divorced?’
The children stopped crying for a moment to look at their mother, suddenly anxious.
‘What the hell?’ said Nessa, loudly. ‘Of course not! Mummy and Daddy are deliriously happy and everything is FINE!’ She glared at Rosie. ‘It’s just that we received an email from the school this morning to say that Mrs Juniper, the twins’ teacher, won’t be returning in September.’
Isabelle and Killian resumed their wailing.
Nessa clapped her hands, like an overenthusiastic children’s entertainer. ‘Kids, listen up. I have an announcement. I wasn’t going to tell you so soon because we have a couple of weeks to wait until he’s ready to come home with us…’
The twins had stopped crying and were now looking at their mother with the kind of interested intensity normally reserved for climaxes of long-running soap operas.
‘We’re going to buy a dachshund puppy! Like a new baby brother, which is far better than a human version because I am not going through childbirth ever again.
’ She turned to Rosie and said in that strange voice again, ‘My poor vagina,’ and pointed downwards.
‘Anyway! I wasn’t going to tell you until he arrived, but I thought perhaps now was the moment.
We’re buying a sausage dog. He’s called Sossy. ’
The children had brightened considerably.
‘Are you sure? A sausage dog? But you hate dogs,’ said Killian, cautiously.
‘We want Sossy and Mrs Juniper,’ said Isabelle.
‘You’re trying to buy us,’ said Killian, suspiciously.
‘Yes, I am,’ admitted Nessa. ‘But it’s a good deal, isn’t it? I mean, if you’re going to buy people, at least do it with a dog, yes?’
The twins weighed this deal up. They looked at each other.
‘We’re going to miss her,’ said Killian.
‘But we’ll have Sossy,’ said Isabelle.
‘He’s going to sleep with me,’ said Killian.
‘No, me,’ said Isabelle. ‘Or he could sleep in a bed between our beds. Exactly halfway.’ They smiled at each other, pleased. ‘We should get a bed and bowl and everything.’
‘Yes,’ said Nessa. ‘Go and wake Dad up and he will bring you both to the pet shop.’
After the twins had raced up the stairs, she turned to Rosie.
‘I’m at my wits’ end. But at least the bathroom is now white, no yellow anywhere.
Now, will you stay for breakfast or do you have to get back?
Anyway, so you’ll be auntie to Sossy and he can come and stay with you when Laurence and I go away.
We’re off to Rome. Which is good because he can’t disappear to any golf courses and I’ve agreed to do the Gladiator tour of the Colosseum, so no one can accuse me of not compromising, and he’s agreed to come into some of the shops.
I want a new handbag. Something leather and expensive. ’
‘Nessa?’
She was still distracted. ‘What do you think of a red bag? Could I use it every day?’
‘I’m in a rush. I have to go. But I have a proposal.’ Rosie paused. ‘Ness, do you love the hotel?’
Nessa seemed startled for a moment by the question. ‘Yes, of course I do. I love everything about it.’
‘Ness, listen. What about you managing the hotel?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Managing it. Being in charge. Rallying the team. Making sure the bills get paid and guests are happy.’
Nessa looked at her, bewildered. ‘What’s going on?’
‘You said that it wasn’t only mine. And you’re right. It’s the family’s. And I’ve done all I can with it.’
‘But you love the hotel.’
‘So do you?’
‘Yes, but… not like you do. You’re obsessed with it.’
‘Not obsessed…’
Nessa looked sceptical but remained silent.
‘Well… I might have been a little emotional about the place and probably a lot possessive. And you’re right, I have been too controlling and haven’t listened to anyone’s ideas and it was crazy of me.
But I should have listened to you and now Grace has great ideas and Francois and I can still advise or assist, but you could run it.
You know the finances inside out and you’d be brilliant.
If you have run a household with twins, then you can do anything. ’
‘Are you sure?’ Nessa was taking it all in.
‘Yes, it’s time to hand it over. I can see it’s the people around me who are making it work.
Dad, Grace, Bertie, Maureen, Francois and everyone else.
The reception team, the housekeeping team.
Martin Moore who can fix a tap, put up a canopy, built a bloody altar, for God’s sake.
And you, more than anyone. You love the hotel like I do. ’
Nessa narrowed her eyes. ‘Would I have to wear boring navy skirt suits?’
‘Of course not. Even I’ve given them up.’
Nessa nodded approvingly. ‘So much better,’ she said, with feeling. ‘Could I make decisions and hire people and make complete changes? You won’t be skulking around, with that disapproving face on you?’
‘Promise.’ Before, she would have been terrified, but Rosie realised she only felt excitement about passing on the hotel, knowing it was in good hands, both sisters ready for a new adventure.
Nessa was beginning to smile. ‘And you trust me?’
‘Of course! I’ve been so self-important, thinking I was saving the hotel. But I wasn’t. Was just keeping it going. It’s time to hand it on, stop being controlling.’
Nessa was nodding. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I would love to. I have so many ideas. For one, we have to be even more profitable and I think we need to do up the dining room. I’m thinking a lovely ikat fabric, billowy curtains out to the terrace.
Fresh flowers on the tables. And the bar, it’s too dark.
And I want fairy lights on the terrace and music on Saturday nights and Christmas parties and mince pies and hot ports and then we can have the Holy Communion crowds in.
Honestly, it’s going to be amazing.’ Nessa laughed.
‘Oh, Rosie. I do love you.’ And suddenly she hugged her.
‘I don’t know what the twins and I would do without you. ’
But Rosie was already back in the Land Rover, making for the hotel, knowing it was in very good hands indeed.
She had to see Patrick before he checked out.
And say what, exactly? That she was sorry about not going with him before?
That she was desperate to stay in contact?
That it had been good to see him… and… well, everything really.
She wanted another chance. She had to see if he felt the same way.
His breath in her ear as they danced together, his voice.
There was something there, she knew it. She had to tell him that she wanted to go with him to Boston, that she was ready for an adventure and she wanted to know if he wanted one with her.
She needed him to know that she wanted a different kind of life, that she was not stuck, or small, or hiding away here in Ireland.
That she could be bold and big and brilliant, like him.
She needed him to at least know that, because if he left without knowing it, then she would regret it all her life.
And, well, if he said thanks but no thanks, then Rosie would completely accept it.
But she had said goodbye to him once before and this time she needed to embrace life fully.
But perhaps she was too late? There was only one way of finding out.