Chapter 2
Two
On Wednesday afternoon, Aspen strode down Cohutta Street in Cooper’s Bend toward her best friend’s coffee shop, The Sword and the Scone. Though the July sun was brutal, she felt none of the heat. She wasn’t sure she’d ever feel warm again.
A bell jingled as she opened the door and stepped inside.
As it was coming on two o’clock, the lunch rush was over.
But there were still a handful of patrons scattered around the mismatched tables that lined either side of the long, narrow room that had been fashioned with beams and texturized walls to resemble the wattle and daub construction of old Europe.
Numb, Aspen made her way toward the back, where Linnea Barton moved behind the polished bar, working levers and buttons to produce the best lattes and espressos this side of Atlanta.
Or so her reputation said. Aspen was a tea drinker. Linnea had her covered, too.
“Here you go, Mrs. Phillips. One Castle Cappuccino with cinnamon.” Linnea slid the mug across the counter and glanced beyond her customer. “Aspen! You’re back.”
Somehow, Aspen managed to lift a hand in a little wave and muster some semblance of a smile when Mrs. Phillips, who’d been her Brownie Troop leader a lifetime ago, turned to greet her.
“How lovely to see you. How’s your father? How was the wedding?”
Behind Mrs. Phillips, concern flitted across Linnea’s face. So the smile hadn’t been all that convincing. Not surprising. But Aspen understood the nature of the small town social contract. She was obligated to chat for a few minutes for the sake of politeness.
“It was lovely. He and Tricia are off for a two-week honeymoon around the Mediterranean.”
“Do you want your usual?” Linnea asked.
“Yes, thanks.”
While her friend went about preparing the pomegranate green tea she preferred, Aspen shared some of the highlights from the wedding.
“I’m just so pleased for him to have found someone new. He hasn’t been the same since your mama.”
Aspen swallowed. “No ma’am.”
“Will she be moving here?”
“Actually, no. Dad’s moving down to Savannah to be with her. He’s giving the house to me.”
“Oh my goodness! That’s quite the gift.”
“It certainly is.” Not that she’d been able to fully wrap her brain around that yet, given what else was going on right now.
“Your tea’s ready, Aspen. Why don’t you come on back to the kitchen and visit for a bit?” Linnea urged.
Grateful for the save, she turned to Mrs. Phillips. “It was good to see you. Give Mr. Phillips my best, won’t you?”
“I sure will. And our congratulations to your daddy and his new bride.”
“Of course.” The smile she flashed felt like knives in her cheeks.
As soon as the older woman moved away, Aspen skirted the end of the bar.
“Hey, Adojah, could you watch the front for a few minutes?”
Cooper’s Bend’s favorite former librarian lifted her coffee in a toast. “I’ve got you, sugar. Go on back.”
Aspen pushed through the swinging door into the back, away from any further prying eyes.
“Sit.” Linnea emphasized the order by steering Aspen toward the four-top table tucked into one corner of the space.
She sank into a chair and reached for the cup Linnea offered as if it were a lifeline.
Hazel eyes sober, Linnea took the adjacent chair. “What did the doctor say?”
Aspen’s fingers tightened around the mug. The ceramic was so hot, it all but scalded her palms. But she needed that sense of grounding. “They did a mammogram and an ultrasound. There’s definitely something there.”
“Oh, honey.” Linnea closed a hand over her arm. “I know this is so scary. Did he say anything about what he thinks he could be?”
“He wasn’t willing to speculate. Not without a biopsy.” That was to be expected. She knew that.
“So, when is it scheduled?”
“It isn’t yet.” Because it was there, she sipped at the tea but didn’t really taste it.
“What? Why not?”
“Because the surgeon has just left for a three-week vacation.” Aspen couldn’t hide the fury in her voice.
“I very well probably have cancer, and he’s more concerned with touring Australia and New Zealand.
God forbid they find someone else who can do the surgery.
Instead, I’m expected to wait and stew.”
Linnea’s fingers tightened in solidarity. “That’s awful. And so stressful for you. But surely that means it isn’t that bad if they’re not concerned enough to find someone else who can do it sooner.”
That was hardly a comfort.
“Given my family history, I could be dead by then. My mom barely had more than that.” Tears burned in her eyes as all the fears she’d shoved down since she walked out of the doctor’s office bubbled up to choke her.
Linnea scooted her chair closer and draped an arm around Aspen’s shoulders.
“Honey, I know you don’t have a lot of reason to keep the faith in the medical establishment, but I feel certain that if they believed it was the same kind of aggressive cancer that took your mom, they wouldn’t be waiting.
They would absolutely find someone else.
There are dozens… maybe hundreds of completely benign reasons for there to be a lump.
It doesn’t mean that it’s the worst case scenario. ”
Objectively, Aspen knew that. But it was impossible not to go there with her mother’s medical history. Aspen hadn’t lived a life that made her believe in the less horrible scenarios. Hell, she hadn’t really lived a life at all.
The tears spilled over. “This is so unfair. I’ve done everything humanly possible to reduce my risk.
I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I haven’t had sugar in ten years.
I avoid processed everything and am one step above vegetarian.
I exercise. I get adequate sleep. And here we are.
I’m twenty-eight, and I probably have cancer. ”
Linnea’s fingers squeezed harder, and her voice took on a more forceful edge than usual.
“You don’t know that. I don’t say that to dismiss your fears.
But it’s not good for you to jump immediately to the worst conclusion.
You don’t have enough information. Neither does your doctor.
If you’re that worried about it, go get a second opinion.
There are a lot of doctors down in Atlanta.
You can find somebody who would be willing to go ahead and move up the biopsy if you need answers quicker.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that if it would give you some peace of mind. ”
Aspen had considered that on the drive back to Cooper’s Bend. She shook her head. “If it’s the worst case scenario, that’s not how I want to spend my last weeks.”
“What are you saying?”
“My mom didn’t have time for anything. There was all this stuff that she wanted to do that she put off to raise me.
Things that she and Dad simply couldn’t afford.
Or they were waiting until retirement. When she was dying, the thing she kept begging me to do is not to wait to live.
Not to put anything off. To take the risks.
And what is it I’ve done? Exactly the opposite of all of that.
I didn’t go to my prom because I didn’t know how much time she had left.
I didn’t go on my senior trip because she’d just died.
I was so worried about Dad that I stayed close to home.
I got my degree online. I’ve never been out of the country.
I haven’t taken any risks at all with my life.
I haven’t gone anywhere. I haven’t done anything.
I have lived the last ten years from a place of fear. ”
The idea that this was all she was gonna get? That scared the shit out of her.
With a speculative look, Linnea sat back in her chair. “So you want to spend the next few weeks doing something else?”
Aspen clutched the mug tighter. “Yes. I don’t think I can take the chance that this is something simple and benign. Whether it’s the aggressive form that took my mother, or if it’s something that will kill me slower, I don’t want to die without having lived.”
“For the record, I refuse to believe you’re dying.
But either way, I think this is a good idea.
With your business, you can be mobile. You can do some travel, see some things.
” Linnea crossed the kitchen to the little office and came back with a notepad and pen.
“It’s time for you to make a list. Everything you want to experience.
Then we’ll figure out how to make that happen. ”
“Oh my God! You’re Brooks Hennessy!”
At the excited female voice at his elbow, Brooks just closed his eyes.
It had been a mistake to come through New York.
A mistake to think that he’d be able to enjoy some anonymity in a city he hadn’t spent time in for years.
And it had absolutely been a mistake to scrape off several layers of the Viking beard.
“I can’t believe I ran into you. Aren’t you supposed to be in Colorado, though? What brings a hockey star like you all the way to New York in the middle of summer? Vacationing a bit before pre-season ramps up?”
He didn’t respond. Didn’t even glance over, lest she take that as encouragement. Not that it seemed she needed any.
Without invitation, she slid onto the stool next to his at the bar of his hotel. “Big fan. I know it’s the off-season, so you can’t be here for a game. Sure wish it was hockey season, though! I miss watching you out there on the ice. Shame about the playoffs.”
Where the hell was the bartender? Couldn’t she do Brooks a solid and come take this woman’s order so he could slip away while she was occupied?
“As for me, I’m just in New York for a boring work conference. Yep, even us normal office drones keep grinding through the summer. But a girl’s gotta make time for some fun too, you know? I’m Jenny, by the way.”
Brooks ignored both the flirty tone and the hand she extended into his peripheral vision, and lifted his beer instead, wishing it was something harder.