Chapter 5
Five
As a rule, Sarah was not much of a drinker.
But at the Camp Firefly Falls staff party that night, she desperately wished she could lose herself in a vat of margaritas.
She didn’t dare indulge. It was far too important that she maintain her cover as Taryn.
That meant her wits needed to stay sharp while looking like she was imbibing.
She had plenty of experience from college with covering up the fact that she wasn’t drinking as much as everyone else.
Someone had to be the responsible one, sober enough to take care of business should anything go awry.
She’d done that for her sister and others.
But never had she wished more for the dulling edge of alcohol.
After the near miss with Michael this morning, she and Beckett had decided it would be best if they weren’t joined at the hip in front of everyone for the duration of the drills.
It was ridiculous to miss him after only a matter of hours.
But he was the only one here who knew who she really was.
The only one she didn’t have to fool. When she’d agreed to this insanity, she hadn’t realized how much of a strain it would be.
Pretending to be Taryn for an hour or two, or even a day, was one thing.
Being her for nearly two weeks? They weren’t so different that fooling strangers was a problem.
Both competitive. Both athletic. Both with similar interests.
Taryn was simply bolder. Less inhibited.
And, at times, more reckless. The latter was hardly something Sarah intended to put on display here, but she was so anxious about the whole thing, every single remark from people felt like the potential for discovery.
“—think we ought to have some kind of Love Boat themed activity for Singles Week. What do you think, Taryn?”
Sarah fought not to jerk with guilt. Spy craft definitely was not her calling.
She shifted her attention to Charlie Thayer, a former romance editor who was taking the summer here to find himself.
“If what people are saying about Singles Week is true, I don’t know that it matters what sort of matchmaking activities you set up. Horny people will find other horny people and presumably engage in activities to their mutual satisfaction.”
“I mean, yeah. But that’s just sex. I’m talking about creating opportunities to make people really connect so that they have a real shot at meeting someone special.”
Do not look at Beckett. Do not look at Beckett. But she was aware of him across the room. Knew that if she turned her head only a fraction to the right, she’d catch sight of those familiar broad shoulders in a black and white plaid shirt.
She sipped at the drink that was mostly water. “I don’t know if you can orchestrate that or not. Seems like those meaningful connections either happen on their own or they don’t. Trying to manipulate them would be like—I don’t know—trying to make lightning strike.”
“Oh, ye of little faith! I’ve seen it happen. Last summer, my cabinmate totally met the love of his life. Well, it turned out they’d met before, but camp brought them back together.”
As Charlie proceeded to regale the group that had sprawled on the comfortable sofa and chairs in this corner of the main lodge with a recitation of how his cabinmate had turned out to be the firefighter who saved a woman’s life, and how she’d come to camp after learning how to walk again, determined to embrace the life she hadn’t been really living before, Sarah wasn’t entirely convinced this wasn’t the plot of one of the books he’d edited.
Because how did two people from such very different worlds make it work?
With a lot of effort and a hefty dose of apparently legitimate genius, it turned out.
Good for Hudson and Audrey.
But that wasn’t normal.
And yet, as Sarah’s gaze inevitably slid to Beckett, she understood that degree of wanting to do anything to make it work. No matter how things turned out for Taryn, she’d be sent away from here. From him. The idea of it made her ache.
They barely knew each other, so how was it that he’d become so important to her so fast? They had a connection. Chemistry, certainly. But there was something deeper here, and it scared the shit out of her, even as she wanted to latch on with both hands.
The very idea of it was reckless, and she was never reckless. Recklessness, thoughtlessness, that thirst for adventure and an adrenaline rush—those were all the purview of her twin. All things Sarah had never allowed herself.
But oh, she wanted to allow herself with him.
What would it harm to follow through? She wanted him. No, she wouldn’t get to keep him. That would hurt. But wouldn’t she regret not taking the risk even more? Maybe, for once in her life, she should take a page out of Taryn’s book and reach for what she wanted. No net. No reservations. Just… want.
The idea of it terrified her. But along with that terror came a visceral excitement.
What would it be like to be with someone she wanted this much?
A part of her was tired of always being the cautious one, the responsible one, the safe one.
Deep down, a tiny part of her resented her sister for always getting to be the reckless one.
For always being the one to take the risks.
Taryn could take those risks because Sarah was always there to bail her out.
Who was going to bail Sarah out if she took this leap?
Who was going to nurse the broken heart she’d inevitably have when this was over?
Maybe it didn’t matter. Walking away from Beckett, going back to New York, was going to hurt no matter what. And if she was going to hurt anyway, then she wanted the pleasure before.
But there was the question of where. Both of them had roommates in their respective cabins.
They couldn’t be assured of privacy in either place.
But she’d been thinking about this off and on all day, in between various training exercises.
Part of the duties for all the staff was preparing the guest cabins, giving them a clean from top to bottom, prepping new linens, and generally making sure everything was in tip-top shape before the first session began.
Each staff member was responsible for a half-dozen cabins.
The Tullys didn’t care what schedule things were completed on, so long as they were finished by the deadline.
Sarah hadn’t completed hers yet, but she’d taken a look at them today during a lull.
Her assigned cabins were on the row farthest away from the main lodge. They could go there.
Given some of the heated looks being passed between various other staff members, they likely wouldn’t be the only ones with that idea at some point during orientation.
Staff had access to do their own laundry.
She could see that the sheets were fresh and washed, replaced before anyone was the wiser.
The longer she thought about it, the more she liked the idea.
This ruse could come crashing down at any moment.
She didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to be with Beckett while she could.
Finishing off her drink, she rose and wandered over to the buffet of snacks. She felt Beckett before she saw him, though he didn’t touch her.
“You okay?”
“I’m ready to get out of here.” She lifted her gaze to his, letting the heat show through. “Are you?”
His pupils blew wide, and his gaze immediately dropped to her mouth. “Always. What did you have in mind?”
“We slip out separately. I’m going to complain of a headache and say I am headed back to my cabin. Give me about twenty minutes.”
“Your cabin?”
Sarah shook her head, careful not to look at him.
There were too many eyes, too many people who could be watching them.
Under other circumstances, it wouldn’t matter.
But everyone here believed her to be her sister.
Beckett wouldn’t be involved with Taryn once the swap was made, so they had to be discrete.
“My cabin cleaning assignments are on the outer rim. Come find me there.”
Heart pounding, she didn’t even spare him a glance before walking back over to the coworkers she’d been sitting with. She rubbed her temples. “I’ve got a bit of a headache. Whiskey always does that to me. I should’ve known better. I’m gonna head on to bed. See you in the morning.”
A flurry of concern and good nights followed this announcement. Sarah waved away any offers to walk her back, and slipped out the side door of the Lodge.
The cool of the night was welcome. Her skin felt taut and feverish. Was she really going to do this? Was she really going to seduce a man she’d known for less than a week? The deep pull of anticipation low in her belly said absolutely yes.
She stopped by her cabin to pick up a few supplies, then slipped back out again sans flashlight to make her way to the outer ring of guest cabins.
The quarter moon gave just enough light that she could see.
It reflected off the surface of Lake Waawaatesi and made her itch for her camera.
She’d try for another shot later. Hopefully there would be time.
The cabin she chose was nestled back among the trees, the third in a row of six she’d be responsible for cleaning, and the farthest from any of the currently inhabited buildings. By her estimation, she had maybe fifteen minutes before Beckett came after her, so she’d use the time to set the stage.