Chapter Twenty-One #3
Soon, dinner was done. Jeremiah placed the meat, chopped lettuce and tomatoes, and cheese on the table in separate bowls, next to a plate of tortillas. Noelle placed plates and utensils on the table.
He waited as she took the first bite. She grinned slowly as she chewed.
“Wait, this is so good,” she said.
“See, I told you.” He puffed up his chest, proud to have cooked a delicious meal for the woman he liked.
As they ate, they talked about new music they were listening to and the shows they were watching.
She told him she was looking forward to reading a new psychological thriller by an author named Jeanette Stevens.
They could have talked about any topic, and Jeremiah wouldn’t have cared.
As long as it meant he’d be here in this space with Noelle.
After dinner, she took their plates to the sink and ran the water.
“Wait,” Jeremiah said, standing. “I’ll do the dishes.”
Noelle looked like she wanted to argue, but after a moment of hesitation, she acquiesced. “You wash, I’ll dry.”
They created an easy rhythm as they washed and dried the dishes together. Once they finished, Jeremiah glanced at his phone and noted the time. It was nine thirty. He had work in the morning. And it was possible that Noelle was tired of having company now.
“So,” she said, turning to him as she dried her hands. “Do you want to see my room?”
He nodded, relieved. And he was intrigued that she’d offered for him to see her room. He followed her down the hallway to the first bedroom on the right. She moved aside and let him walk into her room ahead of her.
Her room was small but tidy. It smelled like the floral perfume that she often wore.
A dark purple comforter was draped over her full-size bed.
A few pairs of shoes were lined up at the bottom of her closet, and makeup and hair items were situated atop her dresser.
But her wooden bookshelf mainly caught his attention.
It was short and only came to his waist, but it was stacked to the brim with books.
“Have you read all of these?” he asked, crouching in front of the bookshelf. He recognized some of the books as ones she’d brought with her to the beach over the last few weeks.
“Yeah,” she said. “Well, those are the ones I own. I get the majority of my books from the library.”
“I’m on book two of the Pirates of the Deep series now, by the way,” he said, turning to look at her.
She sat on her bed and crossed her legs pretzel style. “What do you think so far?”
“I think Clara Crawford is a genius,” he said, and Noelle laughed. “For real, though. That thing you said about there being a book for every reader is true. Clara Crawford writes with a lot of emotion. It holds my attention.”
Noelle beamed at him. “I’ve successfully turned you into a Clara Crawford fan. My work here is done.”
He smirked as he stood, and Noelle moved over on her bed to make space for him.
He sat beside her. By this point, they’d slept in the same bed multiple times, but something about sitting together on her bed here in her apartment felt different.
More intimate, once again. He wanted to know everything that he could about Noelle.
“When’s the last time you saw your dad in Texas?” he asked, leaning back on his elbows.
“Last Christmas. That’s usually when I see him and my stepmom. I used to see them every summer for a month when I was younger.”
“Was it fun?” he asked.
She squinted and chewed the inside of her cheek.
“Sometimes. But mostly, going there gave me a lot of anxiety. My mom had summers off from teaching, so I really wanted to stay home with her, and I felt bad about not wanting to go to Texas. My dad and stepmom tried their best to make sure I enjoyed myself, but I don’t think they really knew what to do with me.
And my stepbrothers were older and always out with their friends.
I always ended up feeling really homesick.
Once I started high school, I begged my mom to let me stay home during the summer.
I blamed it on wanting a summer job, but really, I didn’t want to go to Texas if I didn’t have to. I didn’t really fit there.”
Even when Jeremiah considered himself the black sheep, he always knew that he was a Smith and that he belonged with his family. He couldn’t imagine how it must have felt for Noelle to spend time with her dad while feeling like she didn’t fit into his life.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “That’s a lot for a kid to deal with.”
She shrugged and smiled a little. “I think that’s one of the reasons I like being around your family. Everyone fits. You’ve even created space for me.”
She glanced away, and Jeremiah’s heart squeezed. He wanted to say that there could be a permanent space for her if that was what she wanted. But they had their agreement. He was moving. She was going back to school.
Still, that didn’t change how he felt about her.
“Can I ask you a question?” he said, overcoming his nerves.
“Yes,” she murmured.
“Why did you kiss me earlier?”
Noelle’s gaze lowered to his mouth. He watched her chest rise and fall as she breathed. She licked her lips, and his pulse pounded in his ears.
“Because…” She cleared her throat. “I really wanted to.”
The pounding of his heart intensified. He replayed her words in his head, making sure he hadn’t misheard her.
“I like you a lot, Jeremiah,” she said. She looked at him head on, direct and earnest.
He sat up and moved closer to her, blinking. He almost couldn’t believe that she was saying the words he hadn’t dared hope to hear.
“I like you a lot too,” he said, swallowing thickly.
“That’s why I kissed you,” she continued, not looking away from him. “Because I really like you.”
Gently, he slid his hand up her arm until it rested at her elbow. “Okay,” he said. “We’re on the same page about how we feel. So, where does that leave us?”
She shrugged, at a loss. “I don’t know. You’re moving, and I’m finally going back to finish college.
I don’t want to get distracted. Getting together for real would be complicated.
And I lied to your family about being a librarian, about everything.
How could I explain that?” She bit her bottom lip.
“Even though we like each other, maybe…we should just agree to be friends.”
The balloon of hope in Jeremiah’s chest popped and deflated.
He stared at Noelle, taking in her distressed expression.
If they really tried, he believed they could figure out a way to make things work.
Long distance would be hard, and he’d have to be okay with being put on the back burner in deference to her studies sometimes.
But that was doable. She had a point about the lies, but they could cross that bridge when they came to it.
They could see where things went after summer ended if they wanted to.
He wanted to tell her these things. He wanted to ask her to have faith in them and what they could be together.
But…asking Noelle to see things from his point of view would be selfish, especially after everything she’d been through in order to get to this point in her life.
He didn’t want her to see him as just another obstacle.
“Okay,” he said, releasing a deep breath. Heart heavy, he smiled softly. “Friends.”
Her smile in response was bittersweet. “Friends,” she repeated.
They fell quiet. Jeremiah checked his phone again. It was almost ten p.m. He definitely didn’t want to overstay his welcome.
“It’s late, I should go,” he said, beginning to stand. But Noelle placed her hand on his forearm, stopping him.
“Or if you don’t feel like driving home, you could stay over,” she said.
In her voice, he heard her reluctance for him to leave.
He clung to that because he didn’t want to leave either.
He didn’t like the idea of her being here in this empty apartment alone.
He wanted to stay with her, even though he knew they couldn’t be more than friends.
“I know it’s not as big as your bed in Heart Beach,” she said. “But we can both fit comfortably, right?”
“Yeah,” he said slowly. “Friends have sleepovers all the time.”
She nodded. “They do.”
He went to grab his duffel bag from his car, and he changed into a spare T-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts.
After washing up, he climbed into Noelle’s bed, and the sheets smelled like her.
She turned off her bedroom light and slid under the covers as well.
Their arms and legs were touching as they both lay on their backs.
Then Noelle turned and curled into Jeremiah’s side.
He put his arm around her, and she rested her head against his chest, right on top of his wildly beating heart.
Holding her this way felt amazing. He wished he could go back and undo every night they’d spent sleeping on opposite ends of his bed.
He liked Noelle. She liked him. They were just going to be friends.
A simple decision that felt more complicated than ever.