Chapter Thirty-One
I miss you. I know you need space. I just wanted to say again that I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.
It was late Thursday afternoon. Noelle glanced at her phone for the millionth time, checking the text that Jeremiah had sent last night.
She’d received it while sitting on the couch with Tati, trying to focus on an episode of Insecure, trying her best not to feel so sad and confused about him and her future.
“So we’ll get your paperwork checked out and you should be able to start on Monday,” Connie said, smiling.
Noelle quickly stuffed her phone in her purse and smiled back. “That sounds great.”
Connie was the office manager at Wilson and Woods Realty in Hoboken, and she’d just finished giving Noelle a tour of the office.
She’d interviewed for the front desk assistant position on Tuesday afternoon, and Connie had called the next morning to offer her the job and invite her back for a tour and to sign paperwork.
Noelle would work Monday through Friday from nine a.m. to three p.m. Because she’d signed up for evening classes, her new job wouldn’t overlap with her course schedule.
Professor Mathis had emailed Noelle back on Monday night.
As it turned out, several advisees had emailed her asking to be added to a wait list for a first-week meeting.
Professor Mathis admitted that sending out the schedule link on a Saturday evening in August wasn’t exactly fair, because most people wouldn’t have been concerned with checking email then.
She extended her office hours, and Noelle was able to schedule her meeting during the first week after all.
Professor Mathis reassured Noelle, and the other advisees who’d freaked out, that forgetting to schedule their meeting was a minor mistake, for which she was partially to blame, and that they shouldn’t worry about it.
Noelle was relieved to know that she hadn’t been the only one who’d forgotten and that her advisor wasn’t going to hold it against her.
She could finally stop beating herself up about it.
Classes were starting next week. She should feel happy. She was happy. But…summer was officially almost over, and she couldn’t help feeling sad. She hadn’t felt sad about summer ending since she was a kid. But now it was like she lived in a constant state of melancholy.
“I’ll take you out for lunch on your first day,” Connie said as she walked Noelle to the exit.
“I’m looking forward to it,” Noelle said. “See you then.”
Noelle waved at Connie before walking to her car. Connie seemed sweet, and Noelle was looking forward to working at a company where she wouldn’t have to worry about her hours getting cut. From what she’d witnessed during her tour through the realty office, the agents were busy with clients.
It made Noelle think about Harold and how Hidden Gems Books had struggled.
She hadn’t been back since she’d been let go.
The thought of returning made her too sad.
But Harold had been her reference for Wilson and Woods Realty.
He’d sung Noelle’s praises to Connie and had helped her secure the new job.
Noelle might not be able to visit the store in person, but at the very least, she wanted to call Harold and thank him.
She called Harold when she got into her car, putting her phone on speaker. He answered on the first ring with a gruff, “Hidden Gems Books. We’re closing soon.”
She laughed quietly to herself. She’d hoped that Harold had at least tried to improve his customer service since she’d left.
“Hey, Harold,” she said. “It’s Noelle.”
“Noelle, hi.” His voice immediately brightened—or brightened as much as Harold’s voice was capable of brightening. “How are you?”
“I’m doing okay,” she said. “I wanted to thank you for being a reference for the assistant job at the realty office. I got hired. I start next week.”
“They would have been fools not to hire you,” he said. “And anyway, I should be thanking you.”
Noelle blinked, confused. “What do you mean?”
“Your boyfriend, Jeremiah,” he said. “When he came by yesterday and told me about his family’s foundation that gives grants to Black businesses, I almost couldn’t believe it.
I called him up this morning and he’s already put me in touch with a representative from the foundation.
I was afraid that we might have no choice but to close our doors by the end of the year.
But thanks to your boyfriend, it sounds like maybe we won’t have to. ”
Noelle was stunned into silence. Jeremiah had done that?
“Yeah, that’s pretty amazing,” she said quietly.
“Isn’t it?” Harold sounded as awed as she felt. “Who knows, maybe I’ll get enough money to hire you back. Maybe for some weekend shifts if you want.”
“Yeah, maybe,” she murmured.
Harold said that he had to finish closing up the store for the night, and Noelle promised that she’d stop by soon.
She drove home in a daze. She wanted to call Jeremiah and thank him for helping Harold.
But at the same time, she was afraid to talk to him just yet.
This upcoming weekend was the talent show.
Harper and Ashley had worked so hard on their routine, and Noelle wanted to be there.
But she didn’t know if she could handle returning to Heart Beach and risk digging herself even deeper into such a complicated situation.
Plus, she was still so embarrassed over how they’d found out she’d lied about her job.
And Jeremiah had most likely told them how they’d initially lied about their relationship too. How could she face his family now?
Last weekend had shaken her because it made her realize how much she loved Jeremiah, and she was afraid of getting too caught up in him and making the mistake of not focusing on herself when she needed to the most. Even though Professor Mathis said that forgetting to schedule a meeting was an honest mistake, it had still spooked Noelle.
She was so close to being back on track.
And after what she’d gone through the first time around at college, she didn’t want to risk anything.
She didn’t want her love for Jeremiah to overpower her ability to think sensibly.
No matter how much she missed him, she still wasn’t ready to talk to him yet.
Instead, she FaceTimed her mom and Bill and told them how eager she was to start her new job.
Friday afternoon, she attended Sheree’s bridal shower at Alice’s Tea Cup on the Upper West Side in Manhattan.
Guests had been encouraged to wear their afternoon-tea best. Noelle wore a pink floral-print dress with puffy short sleeves.
Last night she’d taken out her braids, and now she wore her naturally coily curls in a slicked-back low bun.
She’d also found a matching pink fascinator at a vintage thrift store.
She sat with the other bridesmaids, including Sheree’s cousin Raven, who was pouring champagne into her teacup.
The other guests in attendance were Sheree’s mom, her aunts, and older relatives.
They played games and drank tea and ate finger foods and sweets.
Noelle was required only to smile and make casual conversation with Sheree’s loved ones.
Surface-level topics like the weather and music.
She said enough to be engaging but not too deep.
She used to not mind this kind of talk. She’d preferred it, actually.
But the more that she spoke with Sheree’s guests, the more that she wished there were someone here who she shared a real connection with.
The Smiths and the connection she’d built with them were the reasons for this change in her mindset.
She missed Jeremiah, of course. Missed him so much.
But she also missed hanging out with Amara and Robin, and simply being in Celeste’s presence.
She kept thinking about Harper and Ashley and wondering if they felt ready for the talent show tomorrow, feeling guilty because she didn’t know if she could bring herself to go back to Heart Beach and see them perform.
She wondered if Percy had realized that he deserved to take a break.
She even found herself thinking about Caesar, who probably didn’t care whether she lived or died.
It was a Friday afternoon, and usually around this time she’d be heading to Heart Beach with Jeremiah. Now they were all probably at the house without her.
After the group finished playing a game of wedding word scramble, Noelle excused herself to go to the bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and let out a deep sigh. Would she ever be able to take on another Bridal Bestie gig and not feel disappointed by playing pretend?
She startled as someone stepped out of the stall behind her. She immediately brightened her expression when she realized that the other woman was Sheree. Her white fascinator hat had a dramatic net that covered half of her face.
“Hey!” Noelle said. Even if she was in her feelings right now, she still had a duty as Sheree’s bridesmaid. “Are you having a good time?”
“I am!” Sheree said as she washed and dried her hands. She tilted her head as she looked at Noelle. “I haven’t had a chance to talk to you much today. You okay?”
“Absolutely. How’s wedding planning going?”
“Stressful,” Sheree said. “I’m ready for this wedding stuff to be over. I just want to be married.” She smiled. “It must be busy season for you. How many other weddings are you working right now?”
“You’re the only one left this summer actually,” Noelle said. “I had, um, another long-term commitment.”