Chapter 15 #2
She turns to say something else, probably to argue with me, but she doesn’t get the chance. I drift in, grab her around the waist, and hoist her over my shoulders.
“Zane!” she screams, but it’s too late.
I carry her straight into the water as she lets out a surprised shriek, laughter breaking through it as she grabs onto my shoulders. The cold hits us both at once, stealing the breath right out of my lungs as we go under.
Then we break the surface. Maxinne gasps, pushing wet hair out of her face, eyes wide, and then she starts cackling loudly.
“Oh my gosh! What is wrong with you?” she manages between breaths, splashing a handful of water straight at my face.
“I’m just trying to save you some time,” I shoot back with a smirk, and I wipe the water from my face.
She hits me again, harder this time, laughter spilling out of her as she backs away, only to be met with a splash from Ashton on one side and Wren on the other.
Maxinne turns in a slow circle, caught between all of us, water dripping from her hair, cheeks flushed, smile wide and unguarded in a way I haven’t seen before.
Wren splashes Maxinne again, already moving toward the shallower edge near the rocks. “Come over here,” she says, grinning. “I found a spot that’s not as freezing.”
Maxinne pushes her wet hair away from her face and glances back at me for half a second. Then she turns and wades after Wren, the two of them already talking excitedly as they make their way toward the edge of the water.
I drag a hand over my face, trying to play it off, but my gaze keeps finding its way back to her, where it seems to belong.
Their voices fade into the background, blending with the rush of the falls, and I study Maxinne longer than I probably should.
I’m not sure why I’m struggling so much with looking away from her.
“Careful.” Ashton wades closer, his tone easy with a knowing smirk on his face. “If you keep looking at her like that, she’s gonna catch on.”
I let out a breath, dragging my gaze away. “Looking at her like what?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t do that.”
Water laps against my waist as I shift, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m not doing anything.”
“Yeah,” Ashton says, unconvinced, glancing over toward where Maxinne and Wren are deep in conversation. “That’s kinda the problem.”
We’re quiet again, an awkwardness buzzing between us as I wait for the questions I know are about to come. The ones he’s measuring carefully before deciding whether to voice them or not. Ashton scrubs a hand over his jaw, eyes drifting toward the girls again.
“You like her.” He glances at me.
And there it is. The thing I haven’t said out loud. The truth I’ve been skirting around, pretending I could keep it contained. I consider denying it, telling him it’s nothing more than friendship between me and her, but I’ve never lied to him, and I’m not about to start now.
“Yeah. I do,” I confess, my head dropping slightly.
Ashton’s brows knit together. “Why do you sound like that’s a bad thing?”
“It’s not,” I say quickly. “I mean, it is, but not because of her.”
I scrub a hand over the back of my neck again, a nervous habit of mine, as I search for words that won’t show my weakness.
“I don’t want to like her.”
He straightens, concern replacing his curiosity. “Why? Because you think I’d be mad?”
“That’s part of it,” I admit. “You told me to stay away from her and because you’re my best friend. I’d never do anything to risk our friendship.” I swallow, my jaw tightening. “But it’s more than that.”
He waits. The silence stretches between us as my pulse thunders in my ears. My every instinct is telling me to keep this buried where it’s been safe for years. But Ashton deserves the truth.
He perks up, his brows pulling together as he tries to understand. “What is it?”
“I’m not ready for what liking her will mean for me.”
“And what do you think it’ll mean?”
I let out a shaky exhale, not ready to voice this out loud but also desperate for someone else to hear it. I could use his advice on this situation. Fear grips my throat, forcing the words back down, and I have to fight to get them out.
“It means,” I start, then stop, my throat locking up. I force a shaky breath in, before I continue. “It means I’ll have someone to lose again. And I don’t know if I’m strong enough to survive it.”
Ashton gives me an understanding nod and doesn’t speak right away. The wind moves through the trees, leaves whispering overhead. It feels like the whole world is holding its breath, waiting for what either of us is going to say or do next.
He runs a hand through his wet curls, studying me for a moment, before he speaks again. “I get that. I think part of the reason why you and I seem to hold on to things so tightly is because we both fear that something as great won’t happen twice.”
I know Ashton is speaking from his own experience. His wife left, and he never let anyone close enough to replace what she took with her. He understood my pain with Lily in a way no one else ever has. We’ve learned how to survive by guarding what’s left of our hearts.
“But don’t you think that if God wants you to be with someone, He’ll make it happen at the right time and with the right person. It’s not something that needs to be forced or fought. It comes from trusting Him enough to let it unfold.”
I swallow. “You think God wants me to be with Maxinne?”
He studies me for a moment before answering. “I don’t know if she’s the one, per se, but what if she is?”
The question lands square in my chest, and for a second, I can’t get air around it.
“If God puts someone in front of you,” Ashton goes on, “are you really going to turn away from her just because you’re scared of losing her?”
I shake my head slowly. “How would I even know if He’s chosen her? She’s going back to college at the end of summer and has a whole life somewhere else.”
Ashton’s mouth curves into a half-smile. “God doesn’t ask us to see the whole picture. He only wants us to take the next step of faith. He’ll give you discernment, Zane. Not so you see things how you want them to be, but how they truly are.”
My gaze wanders toward Maxinne again. She’s laughing at something Wren has said, and the invisible tug is back.
Maybe it’s the Holy Spirit, or it’s the quiet echo that follows after you admit the truth to yourself.
Either way, it feels like a nudge telling me that something is waiting for me on the other side of everything I’ve endured.
And all it requires is one small thing from me.
Faith.
“Thanks,” I say, breaking the silence and glancing back at my best friend.
He looks at me, understanding written in his expression, then claps my shoulder once. “I’m here for you, brother. And if something happens between you two…I’m good with it.”
That catches me off guard. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs, like it’s simple, but it’s not. Not really. “I know I told you to stay away from her before but I trust you. And she deserves someone who actually understands her. Not…Derek…or someone like him.”
“Alright.” I nod once.
“Just don’t break her heart.”
I hold my hands up. “I don’t plan on it.”
A splash echoes from farther down the bank, followed by Wren’s voice cutting through the trees. “If you two are done having your emotional bro moment, we’re getting out.”
We push off from the rocks, heading back toward the water right as Wren wrings out her shirt and starts digging through her bag.
“Okay, serious question,” she says, pointing at all of us. “Who mentioned ice cream earlier, and why aren’t we already on our way to get it?”
“Maxinne said Zane was buying, so…” Ashton slaps my shoulder playfully.
Maxinne lingers near the edge of the water, slower than the others, squeezing the end of her braid. I hang back too, not entirely on purpose—ok, it’s totally on purpose.
She glances up at me, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You and Ashton looked pretty serious over there.”
I shrug, trying for casual but probably missing it by a mile. “We were just talking.”
“Mm-hmm.” Her eyes narrow in a teasing way. “About?”
I hesitate long enough for her to notice. “Nothing you need to worry about.”
She studies me for a second, deciding whether to push or let it go. Then she nods, but there’s curiosity still lingering in her expression.
“Alright,” she says. “For now.”
“For now,” I echo.
Wren claps her hands loudly from up the trail. “Ice cream. Move it, lovebirds.”
I catch Maxinne’s cheeks flush before she turns away, heading toward the others. I follow a step behind, watching the way she tucks a strand of damp hair behind her ear, and how she gives me a shy smile over her shoulder.
For the rest of the day, that smile stays with me, and so does the quiet truth I hadn’t realized I was ready to accept. That trusting God in the uncertainty doesn’t erase the fear, but it anchors my heart to hope.